My 4 year old Step-Son is having Out of control temper tantrums. HELP!

Tracy - posted on 10/29/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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He has never had tantrums of this magnitude before and he's only having them at school. It includes taking his clothes of and throwing things and spitting and saying he doesn't want to be a big boy. This ONLY ever happens at daycare (and prior to this at headstart) and we NEVER have problems like this at home or when he's at his mom's she doesn't have those problems either. What could it be? How do we handle this when school has us pick him up because of his behaviour? Do we discipline him after the fact? We are so lost!

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Tracy - posted on 10/29/2012

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Kelly - It started in headstart and we pulled him from that school. Now he's going to daycare full time (same daycare he has gone to for over 2 years already). We have asked him and talked him about his feelings. He doesn't say anything concrete. Sometimes he'll blame the other kids and sometimes he'll say it's his little brother (who is not in the class with him). Daycare does have cams and we have watched. So far we haven't been able to pinpoint anything, and neither have the teachers or his mom. Totally random :-\

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It is quite obvious that something at school is triggering the outbursts.



have you asked him WHY he is falling apart? In order to stop the tantrums, you have to find out what is triggering them and address that issue first. Once you have the trigger, you can teach him more effective and appropriate ways to deal with those issues and emotions.



Does your school have parent cams? Log in and watch the live feed to see what is going on at the onset of the tantrums. Is he being picked on? Is he confused? embarrassed? frustrated?



If you cannot get down to the bottom of the problem, I would pull him from that school and place him in another school.

Tracy - posted on 10/29/2012

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Holly - I can't do any of that! These tantrums only happen at school. Never at home with us or with his mom. But they are becoming bad enough that school has been calling home and he has had to be picked up by mom a few times because he is out of control. But then he's home with her or she'll drop him off with me and he's fine. Is he just wanting attention from us? Even when he has "fits" at home... its nothing like this... not like taking his clothes off and throwing things and spitting.

Holly - posted on 10/29/2012

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ignore them, take pictures so that he can see how ridiculous he looks.let him know that it doesn't embarrass you, but that he is embarrassing himself. let him throw his fit. drag him out of there and pretend as though he is not throwing his fit. if he is taking his clothes off, let his be drug out to the car while he is naked... and pay no attention to him.

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