My 45 year old narcissistic daughter.

Lorraine - posted on 01/09/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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The posts I have read have mostly the same behavioral profile for the narcissist. It gave me great comfort to read that I am not alone or going crazy. Your daughters too are mean and nasty to you and have blamed you and lied about you. And no matter how much I have done for her and given her, it will never be enough. Even when I had major surgery, she never showed up or called to offer some help. I
live alone and sure could have used a hand or even somebody who cared.
I have seen 3 therapists over the past 10 years, trying to figure out 'what did I do?'

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Cher - posted on 12/14/2015

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OMG....all these years I was constantly belittled and told I wsa crazy...until I found this blog....I am reading my life and pain that everyone is describing....it has been hell....and my 14 year old granddaughter is now reaping her mother's wrath...and I cant do anything....you live minute to minute never knowing what explosion is next....its like walking a mine field

Dana - posted on 05/10/2016

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It is truly amazing and somewhat reassuring to know so many other women have and are going through the same issues.
After a nasty divorce with a man who ticked just about every NPD box, my 25 yr old daughter's behaviour is driving me mad. She's a controlling, manipulative, compulsive liar. She needs to be the center of attention all the time - sucking the air out of any room she's in.
I love her and she has many gifts - including intelligence - which gives her the talent of turning any situation around.
The best thing I did with my ex-husband was cut him off once I found indisputable evidence of years of lying and cheating, which he was still saying I was imagining.
But I can't just can't cut my daughter off. Like her father, she can say one thing and 5 minutes later say "I never said that!" She pits people against each other. I have given and given and nothing is enough. Every other parent is : better, cooler, smarter - whatever - to try and make me feel diminished. I just recoil from her now. It's like going through a divorce for a second time.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/14/2016

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Frankly, Hannah, with the length of your unstructured post, and your run-on style, I couldn't read much, but in your situation, I would have called child services when she started acting the entitled little bitch. She got herself into that situation, and you did what you could. In that particular case, with the condition of the children, I would suspect drug use.

At any rate, what you have described, at least what I could track in your post, is different than what others are posting.

My stance hasn't changed one bit. I LIVED what I described, and I stand by my post.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/09/2015

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Have you asked her what you did? Your therapist will not be able to tell you. Your kid will.

At some point, without realizing it, you did something that your child perceived as harmful to them. It could have been something simple like telling them to wait a minute until you finished something else, and they decided right then and there that they were mad at you.

It doesn't necessarily have to have been something huge, either.

My mother thought I, too, was narcissistic, until I explained to her exactly how hurtfully she'd raised me, all the while thinking she was 'doing it right'. She didn't understand that words hurt just as badly as whippings, and she didn't understand how to be a young parent of young children. Now that we're both adults, I have been able to repair that relationship. Its taken time, and her willingness to listen and HEAR me, address the problem, and fix it.

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