Janine Lee - posted on 01/29/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
Good morning to All. My name is Janine, My partner Sheri has a 5 year old little boy Nathan who has in the past month done a complete 360 turn and has changed into someone we don't know any more.
Let me start from the beginning, just over 2 years ago Nathans father up and left with him. Last year November we finally manged to get him back, at his fathers house he had no discipline what so ever and was basically left to his own devices while his father would sit and play computer games. he wouldn't bath Nathan, feed him properly and was constantly sick. About 2 weeks after we got him back he was back to good health and was a little prince. it took a bit of work to get him to adjust to his new routines. We made everything fun for him and put things in place that would motivate him to Bath and eat his food and clean up his toys etc. Everything was going well and smoothly and he was behaving as I knew him to behave when i first met him at the age of 2 years. he was Nathan again.
This last month however things have changed? He is not listening to anything we ask of him like he did before. Nothing different has happened in the home, we have kept everything constant. he is now acting out at school where it has become so bad that even his teacher doesn't know what to do. Nothing helps, Punishment by taking away playstation games or his favorite toy, sending him into the Naughty corner, Smacks, heart to heart talks.... NOTHING is working. If we ask him to do something simple like get dressed he will just sit there, we will ask him over and over and he does not budge. we ask him why he doesn't want to get dressed and he wont even answer us he will just sit. he wont talk to us. if Sheri shouts he will start to cry but not real tears. he basically just makes a noise. Last night we sat down with him and had a nice talk about his behavior and what is the right thing to do,and what is wrong, and tried to get some kind of answers out of him but he would just fidget and refuse to even look at us while we talk to him.
He has also started this new thing where instead of asking for something he wants like juice for example he will just start to cry and when we ask whats the matter he will tell us. we have told him over and over again that there is no reason to cry he must just ask and he will get. we have explained to him that crying wont help him get want he wants. but he continues with this behavior.
We know he was not getting the attention and love he needed in his fathers house so we give him all the love and attention we possibly can. we spend all our time with him and do plenty of fun things as often as possible. He is a busy body like any child his age and we try keep him as occupied with educational fun toys and games and so on. So i do not understand where this behavior is coming from?
We are running out of Ideas???? I do understand that the move is a big deal for him but we did it as smoothly and carefully as possible so we did not confuse him. we sat down with him in the beginning and explained to him as best we could and he responded well and seemed to understand. He is very happy that he is back with his mommy but obviously he misses his father. However his father comes to the house almost every weekend to visit him and we try keep him in contact with his dad as much as the father makes it possible. Sheri will never keep her son away from his dad.
We are so afraid that the way we are dealing with these issues are making matters worse and he is at a very delicate age. We need some help and advice please???? how should we go about disciplining his bad behavior? How do we get him to understand the consequences of his naughty behavior and get him to stop. I know he is a child and there will be times where he wont listen and what not but this is all the time and it is getting out of hand. Please any advice will be greatly appreciated.