My 5yr old drives me to distraction!

Vivien - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm sure I'm not alone on this one but I'm finding it increasingly hard to be calm and rational with my 5yr old boy when he doesn't do as he's told. I'm writing this because I was so frustrated with him this evening for not listening and carrying on doing something after I told him clearly at least 3 times to stop I smacked him on the bottom with a paperback book. I feel awful because I don't condone smacking children at all and know it's not a good example of the way to discipline your child but my patience just shot through the roof after many 'not listening' moments this evening. Examples of behaviour that's driving me up the wall are repeating back word for word what I'm saying as I'm telling him off for something. The "I'm just..." or "just one more" lines when I've asked him to stop doing something, which consequently is never just once more, and constantly wanting whatever his younger sister has literally just picked up, and if she doesn't willingly give it up either taking it anyway, whinging to me that she won't let him have it or cajouling it off her by some other means. Please someone post solutions or at least let me know I'm not alone!

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Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012

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I would explain to him that you find it very irritating when he repeats back word for word what you are saying it is considered to be very rude and he should not do that. I would give him a time-out whenever he does it after you've explained it. Warn him one time, so you can say, see, that's what I mean about me feeling like it's a rude thing to say. After that time I would tell him, you don't do that, and send him to a time-out, tell him he can't be near you when he's being rude to you.



I would also explain that you don't listen to 'I'm just' or 'just one more' w/e. If he starts to say something like that say, excuse me? No buts, right now. If he does it again just so , no buts, right now. No buts, right now. If he is doing something he shouldn't and you've already asked him once to stop I would also give him a time-out or take away whatever it is he's doing right then for the rest of the day.



If he's in the middle of an actual activity (not just doing something bothersome) and you want him to switch gears, give him 5 minutes. So say, in five minutes you're going to have to do this. Three more minutes. One more minute etc. That way he has time to change gears.



For issues with his sister I believe with kids you shouldn't take sides in arguments. Even if you perceive him as the one doing the wrong thing. If he comes and whines to you say 'Oh that's to bad.". If he takes it away tell him we don't take things and ask him to play with something else. Or ask him to talk to his sister about using the toy later when she's done. If he manages to cajoul her off it then at least he's used his negotiation skills. Sometimes asking both kids to try to find a solution can help, so maybe in 10-15 minutes you can play with this toy. Then just ignore him if he whines at you.

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