My 6 year old daughter is very disobedient and it's driving me she was diagnosised with ADHD but I seriously believe that it has alot to do with her being an only child and being used to getting her way because her daddy let her be this way and now we are having a terrible time getting her to obey us. Doctors told me that she needed to see a psychologist and psychiatrist to see what medication to put her on but I haven't scheduled any appointments with either doctor because my husband and I are trying natural alternatives instead. Any suggestions on how to get her to listen and behave with me it's especially bad with me. I feel like I have failed as a mother, it actually brought me to tears and a small break down after I put her down for bed lastnight. :(

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Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012

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Even if you don't see a psychiatrist for medication you may want to see a councellor for the family. I know usually people put the 'problem' person (child) into councelling hoping ot have them fixed but for every situation it's usually the whole family that needs to work on things.



You said she's like this because she's used to getting her way all the time. Have you started to do things to discipline her when she's doing the wrong thing? What is she doing? You might need to work on certain behaviors with her while getting councelling at the same time.



You and her dad need to be disciplining her so there is consistancy in her life.



I think more information is needed on what exactly she is (or isn't) doing to give you advice on how to get her to listen and behave. If she's not doing a chore (cleaning up toys) I would put everything else on hold. So if she refuses to do it, don't say anything, and then later when she wants something (to watch tv, go to the park etc.) say yes, once you've cleaned up your toys. That can work for a variety of situations. Or some people say you have until this time to clean things up or anything left on the ground is getting taken away for today and tomorrow, or longer if she consistantly lets the toys lie there. Less toys to clean up for next time.



I think natural consequences are the best, so try to link a consequence to a behavior if possible. If she doesn't brush her teeth she doesn't get treats/sugary things in her lunch/later on, until she brushes them.



You can give her time-outs and things.



Like I said the more specific you are about behaviors the more likely you'll get better advice.

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