My 6 year old son is very angry

Brenda - posted on 01/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have 2 boys, ages 4 and 6.5. Their father and I split up 2 years ago, it was not a nice split. My eldest really looks up to his dad who is "big and strong" and but really his dad is selfish and immature and a bad role model. But he makes it "seems" like he is a loving Dad...now. S (my 6 year old) has always loved his daddy alot, even when daddy was never home. I know he has this respect for him based on his size and strength. S is also quite angry at me and he can say mean things to me and his little brother. He is also very rough with his brother. He loses his temper easily and often. He doesn't listen to me. Its as if he has no respect for me. He feels that he only loves his daddy. At home he gets into a trouble alot. I think its because he feels left out, isolated, he feels a sense of loyalty to his dad. I do my best to have fun and "include" him but he can be so difficult and rude that he ruins it so i send him to his room. I love him so much! I want to him be a happy kid and not so angry!! Its like a viscious circle. I am a working mom, so I don't have much time each night: dinner, homewaork, play (maybe?) then bath and bed. I feel that I need to be consistent and stern with him...it seems to be more effective than the huggy-lovey route. Ugh! So frustrated and sad! Any ideas?

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Brenda - posted on 01/10/2014

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Thanks Debra- counseling may be needed. I have tried a couple of sessions, but I don't feel that sitting in front of a psychologist to "talk" is what he needs. It feels like a waste of time and money. Rather he needs more of a "social skills" or anger management for young kids type of therapy. It would be great if he could find himself a best friend. I think he would benefit greatly from that. But because he can often be immature and mean, his friends don't ask for playdates.
Anyway- thanks for your thoughts! :)

Debra - posted on 01/10/2014

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Consistancy and Love.You should give him a time out ,6 minutes.A corner, not his room may work better.If he is being destructive, or intentionally hurting anyone he may need counseling. Let him know ahead of time the consequences of bad behavior.

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