My 6 year old was excluded from a classroom birthday party

ChrisseyB - posted on 05/30/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )




Hi, my 6 year old daughter was excluded from a birthday party at school that took place in her classroom. Her teacher has never been fond of her...My daughter came home in tears, she said she had to watch the other children eat cake and get goody bags while she sat in the corner. When she asked the teacher why? she was told that she was being punished for misbehaving the week before. My child doesn't want to go back to school anymore. Is this fair? This has scar my child.


Sherri - posted on 05/30/2011




Okay before jumping to conclusions I would speak to the teacher with your daughter present and decipher the story. Although it sounds plain horrible, I would be willing to bet that your daughter may not have all the facts and may be embellishing a bit. I am in no way diminishing her disappointment and pain. However, I wouldn't judge to harshly till you had both sides, then you can make a better educated decision as to what occurred and the reasons why.

[deleted account]

Please make an appointment to speak with the teacher to understand the whole story. At 6 years old, you only get the child's point of view. I also have a 6 year old, and get the partial truth out of him. I also teach high school, and have parents call me quite frequently since their 15 year old only tells them their side of the story! All it takes is a phone call or brief meeting to find out the sequence of events that lead to your daughter being excluded, if she actually was, from the party.

Kate CP - posted on 05/30/2011




Something is missing from this puzzle. A teacher shouldn't and wouldn't exclude a child from a birthday party and force them to watch without participating. THAT is torture and just mean. Talk to the teacher, talk to the principal...find out what's really going on.

Rachel - posted on 05/30/2011




No this is not fair. Punishing a child a long time after the behaviour is not right. I would suggest a meeting with both the principal and teacher to discuss what has happened...but go in open minded as children don't always tell us the whole story of what has happened.

Krista - posted on 05/31/2011




I would ask for a meeting with the principal and the teacher. I don't know if I'd bring your kid, though -- that might make things harder on her.

As well, do you know any of the other parents in the class? Is there one you can call, to get the parent to ask their kid for their take on what happened that day? That might help as well.


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Katherine - posted on 05/31/2011




I can't see a teacher punishing a child for something they did a week ago. That makes NO sense. You are going to have to talk to the teacher on this one.

[deleted account]

Quoting Karli "My first reaction would be to walk into her classroom and go up one side and down the other on her."

And that's the kind of behavior that would warrant a call to security to get you escorted off campus! You don't get a thing accomplished in resolving an issue if you already go into the teacher's classroom angry and unwilling to hear the teacher's version of the event. Besides, I'm not sure where yo ulive, but parents are just simply NOT allowed to waltz into a classroom. It disrupts the educational process and creates a confrontation in front of students.

Karli - posted on 05/30/2011




My first reaction would be to walk into her classroom and go up one side and down the other on her. I would be so livid. I would without a doubt make an appointment with her teach and the principal of her school. I'm sure they have a standard tool they use to reinforce good behaviour but to wait a week and then punish her by making her feel left out is absolutely out of bounds for any teacher.
OOOH, this post got my blood boiling.

Christy - posted on 05/30/2011




SO not cool. I'd go in for a conference without your daughter and ask for the principal to be in on the meeting. If the teacher has been treating her that badly all year, I think you should switch teachers.

[deleted account]

I think a chat with the teacher is in order, to voice your concerns, get full information and to discuss the effect on your daughter.

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