My 6 years old son was humiliated

Renee - posted on 09/11/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi, I have a happy 6 year old son who is very excited to be in the 1st grade. He loves his teacher and loves his school. This is the second week of school. On 9/9/15 I picked him up early for a doctors appointment and I went about my normal routine of asking him how his day went. He replied it was ok but I got really embarrassed during lunch. I asked him why and he began to tell me while standing in the lunch line him and his friend were talking when the lunch aide approached him and removed him from where he was and took him further up the line to where a group of girls were standing and asked the girls to watch him because he talks a lot. He was devastated and so was I. I assured him that I would get to the bottom of it. The next day I made a verbal complain to the principal. Later that day I had not heard back from her so I sent her an email. About an hour later she called me and said she didn't want to send me an email and she thought by talking on the phone would a faster way of getting a hold of me. She proceeded to tell me that she investigated she asked my sons teacher if he appeared sad after lunch and his teacher responded no. She then spoke with the lunch aide regarding the situation and she denied what my son had told me she said the lunch aide told her that she separated the boys because it appeared they were behaving rambunctious. As a parent I have a serious concern regarding this situation. A six year old child will never fabricate a story like this unless it really did happened. Please help me with how to go about making a complaint with higher authority. I totally disagree with how the principal went about and concluded her investigation. I'm concern of my child's safety because this lunch aide still works at the school!!!!

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Sarah - posted on 09/11/2015

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Since we are bouncing back and forth, I will post here this time.
I see kids get reprimanded everyday. I do it myself. If your son had really been humiliated, he'd have cried, been unable to eat, not gone out to recess and probably would have been so upset the teacher would have noticed You are assuming that the aide is lying. Even if she did exactly what your son says she did, big deal! He was embarrassed, not abused or publicly disgraced. I guess I wonder what you are most worried about? The aide did not harm your child, and she's not going to get fired over moving him in line. What about the whole scenario makes you fear for your child's safety? I am sure he is very obedient and not used to being corrected, so it may have felt terrible to him because he never gets into mischief.

Dove - posted on 09/11/2015

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OK... well... keep gunning for the lunch aide to be fired over this and see how fast you turn your son's school 'career' to hell then. Have fun w/ that.

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Michelle - posted on 09/12/2015

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I agree with the other ladies, he wasn't humiliated, he was a bit embarrassed because he got into trouble.
What do you think the teachers and aides are at the school to do? Let kids run amok? The aid has probably worked with children for a while and, like Dove said, wanted to prevent the boys becoming louder.
You are making too much of a big deal out of it. There are going to many more times your son is going to get in "trouble" no matter how you have brought him up. You need to let the teachers do their jobs or you will run out of schools in your area to send him to.
Yes, we all want to protect our children and don't like other people telling them off, but sometimes we have to step back and let our children make mistakes and learn by them. Hopefully your son has learned that, yes he can talk in the lunch line but he will need to keep the volume down.

Trish - posted on 09/12/2015

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Are you truly concerned about your son's safety over a lunch aide? If you are truly concerned and unhappy with how things are being dealt with then it is not a good school. Pull your son out and put him in a new school. Save yourself all the drama and stress dealing with people upsetting your boy. But be aware in your child's school life situations like this are constant. That is a guarantee. Nothing in life runs smooth.

Renee - posted on 09/11/2015

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Ok Dove or whatever your name is at this point I choose to agree to disagree with you. I don't need your opinion it's no help to me at this point!!!

Dove - posted on 09/11/2015

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He wasn't humiliated. He was slightly embarrassed... which is normal when a child gets in trouble. You are making a huge deal out of this when there doesn't need to be a huge deal made at all. He was FINE by the time he went back to class.

I'm not saying he's a bad kid or a trouble maker... but 6 year old boys CAN and DO get a little rambunctious at times. Perhaps she saw a potential for a situation that she decided to diffuse ahead of time and stepped in. I am NOT saying her wording was the best (if she did, in fact, use that wording), but really... if you go in guns blazing every time you have a minor problem... no one at that school is going to listen to you if you ever have a legitimate complaint because you are well on your way to being pegged a trouble maker by the administration. There IS nothing more for you to do here.

Renee - posted on 09/11/2015

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I teach my son to be respectful and obedient. He doesn't get into trouble and he's not a bad kid. The cafeteria is for lunch and socializing with his peers if he was talking with his peer in line that doesn't give her the right to humiliate him...

Dove - posted on 09/11/2015

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Well... if you think a 6 year old isn't capable of fabricating a story I think you need to take a moment and step back from the situation.

Now... I'm not saying your son is lying, but his perception of the situation is not going to be the same as an adult's perception. You are afraid for his safety? Why? Did she beat him or lock him up? She didn't HARM him in any way. If he was talking too much in line and that was why he was separated... tell him not to talk so much in line and it won't happen again.

I'm not saying his feelings are not justified because if she did, in fact, use that wording then that is a bit harsh... but that's all it is... just a bit harsh. You need to let it go and help your son by enforcing appropriate behavior in school. IF a situation like this occurs again... then you can consider taking another approach.

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