My 7 1/2mos. old refuses let me put him down.

Lauren - posted on 04/11/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi, I am a first time mother so I am new at everything. My LO is very clinging and besides sleeping, I have to constantly be holding him. I actually wouldn't mind, but physically it's taking a toll on my body. I keep hoping that this is just a phase, but it's been a few mos. and nothings changed. I ERGO baby him everywhere, even the toilet( i know that sounds crazy), is this normal or not, and is it unhealthy for him ?
Thanks ! :)

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Dove - posted on 04/11/2016

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My son was crawling at that age, so I could go to the bathroom w/out him... but if I ever shut the bathroom door he would scream like someone was murdering him. That was the only way he cried for the first 3 years of his life... lol ♥

Raye - posted on 04/11/2016

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Try to come up with play activities that would distract him so you can get away for a minute unnoticed. Stay nearby and check on him frequently so he gets comfortable that you'll come back to him. Over time, try to be out of sight for a little longer amount of time. Eventually he'll realize it's ok for you to "disappear" and you'll be back. You should be able to go to the bathroom alone if he's in a safe area where he can't hurt himself.

Dove - posted on 04/11/2016

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Perfectly normal. No, it's not unhealthy. If the baby carrier makes it possible to hold him it is perfectly fine to keep doing it. If you HAVE to put him down, make sure he is in a safe place and you talk to him and take frequent breaks to be w/ him. It is a phase, but it depends on the child for how long it lasts... could be a month... could be a few years (obviously the older he gets the more he will be out of your arms... but the clingy stage doesn't necessarily end for a long time).

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Dusty - posted on 04/12/2016

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My daughter was VERY clingy. To the point that nobody could look at her that wasn't me without crying. Not her grandparents or even her Papa who was always around so it's not like she did see him.

How did I solve it?

I went back to work. She had to be watched by someone so she just got use to it. I feel bad for my neighbor that had to deal with her but she is much better now.

So I guess my advise is to put little one down in a safe place like behind a baby gate or in a pack-n-play where he can see you. Let him get use to seeing you from a distance, Increasing the time and eventually leaving the room, and increasing that time.

I would hate for you to go through what I did and listen to him cry when leaving him with someone else. It was heartbreaking for me.

Hears to crossing my fingers that my new twin boys will cling to eachother instead of me. :)

Sarah - posted on 04/12/2016

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I do think at 7.5 months he should be able to handle being down on the floor exploring or at the least in a high chair playing with toys.

Megan - posted on 04/11/2016

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There are no absolutes when it comes to babies. However, constantly holding a 7 month old is probably not the best for you or your son. There is so much to learn and explore. this book has ideas that might really help http://amzn.to/1ViZziB Once you decide that its best for your babe then you will send that signal to him. If you are feeling unsure he will pick up on that. Try playing the sit and play by yourself game when he is most happy...ie: fed, changed and not sleepy And do this at least three times every day so that your son begins to expect it... the idea is to gradually wean your son from what he is used to (being carried) to understanding and feeling comfortable with spending a bit of time on his own. Let the goal of how long he will sit and engage without you be very short to start. Shoot for two minutes if thats all you can get at first ... stay nearby but not interacting.If he cries, try distracting him with something noisy, or make a goofy sound or clap your hands before picking him up. If you redirect him from crying then give him a cheer ... yeah, you did it and refocus onto something else. Eventually this will become the new norm. Same for bathroom trips... make a new habit or game of it. Sit him in his boppy chair or whatever right near by so he can still see you and use the same words... Mommy has to go potty, you'll be fine. then have a bathroom toy nearby or play a musical toy. Do this three times a day and he will again get used to the new routine. He may weep the first few times but when he realizes you'll come right back he will start to calm down.

Mary - posted on 04/11/2016

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Hi Lauren, I would say that if your holding him that much than yes it is unhealthy for the both of you. Your little one needs to feel secure by himself. All little ones want to be held alot, your his mother and that is only natural for him to always want to be on you. But if you find that you cant sit him down, (in something, with toys, etc) without him always fussing than it has gotten to be too much. Although he is still really little, he is going to have a million things that he is going to have to do, even before the age of 5, by himself and it will do wonders for him down the road if you can teach him now that he will be okay without mommy holding him and being able to feel comfortable by himself (even if your right there next to him). You are def a good loving mother to even ask your question.

Lauren - posted on 04/11/2016

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Hi Dove,
My son just started crawling, and trying to walk, so when I don't have him in the ERGO baby I have to put him on the bathroom rug, and if not he screams soooo loud it literally sounds like he's being beat to death, lol ! So you feel my pain...wow ! for three years ?? When he was born the nurses at the hospital told me he had a great set of lungs on him, and he does, lol !
Thanks for responding, it helps to know that I'm not alone.
I have a question...when your LO gets so loud how do you find another way of soothing him without picking him up ?
Thanks again for the feedback :)

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