Ashley - posted on 08/29/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )
Lol...I had to make that the title becuase thats the phrase I googled on my phone after I felt like I'm in a downward spiral with my son. I was raised by my super sweet grandma and my nightmare aunt. My grandma explained things, gave me an occasional wooden spoon spankin & basixally guilt tripped me into feeling awful when I was...it was very successful method I loved and respected her. My aunt raised me for the next 5 years and was exact opposite. Yelled, no hugs (knew she loved me but never felt a connection or like I could snuggle or talk to her)...reminded us she didn't wants all the time made me resent her and basically I was a terror at that point becuase I hated her and didn't care. I fear being like my aunt or being too nice like my grandma. So I tried to always explain to him why he was in trouble or why I felt the way I do. I tell him...if he was the parent how would he feel if i did what he did (whatever bad action). He just acts incredibly board when I try explaining thngs and then will say 'yes I understand...I'm listening...mom why is that sky blue etc etc. (Insert random question here that shows he's clearly been thinlikg of anything other then what we were talking about). So I've tried spankin his little butt but I never do it hard enough beucase I think of my aunt and cringe and I tell him....you didn't even get spanked hard bexuase I love you so much...can't you just be good so I don't have to do that..I don't like spanking you and being mean...he says he understands but the acts rude again 5 min later. My faults where I'm probably needing work: being consistent & being patient....ill freak out and yell sometimes becuase I get so annoyed or ill give him three.or more warning to quite backtalking and then yell to scare him and tell him he chose that becua se i gave him several chances. Basically just want help on gettong him to stop talking to me like he thinks he is smarter then me or my parent and second to stop being a quitter/crybaby. When he sees something hard to read he says he can't and then if I tell him to try he crys. He crys all the time about the dumbest stuff. Sorry I wrote so much...just trying to put enough info that someone could give good input. Oh....he is a total daddys boy and his dad is never home...works out of town and is too "tired" most weekends to do much with.him so my son is always with me the "drill sergeant"