My 7month old uses me as a pacifier!!! Ppl keep telling me that it's time to wean her, but I plan to do it till she's around 1 yr. The problem is that she wakes up 3 to 4 times a night, not bc she's hungry, but bc she realizes that my boob isn't in her mouth anymore. I finally get tired of getting up around 3 am am and she ends up in bed w/me but she pacifies on me from like 3am till about 630 am. At this time, I stick her in her swing and she'll stay asleep there till about 830. This is really driving me bananas and I don't know what to do. She's already started solids and since she started daycare, she's supplemented on formula as well. Any suggestions on getting her to not be so severely addicted and dependant on the boob????

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jessica - posted on 04/03/2009

1

11

0

ok so i have this same problem but i just have not let my son cry it out. he is avery independent baby. he is a year old now and i want to be done breastfeeding simply cause he is one now and has teeth lol. and my body is just done right now with it. but now reading this i see he is simply using me as a pacifier but he does take binky's so what do i do now lol. i also need help trying to stop breastfeeding when he wakes up at 2 and 4 its just sooo easy to just put the breast in and go back to sleep. lol HELP!!lol

Amanda - posted on 04/02/2009

1

14

0

this is how we transitioned to binkies:



at first she would only fall asleep on a boob.. . so i tried to be sneaky and it worked!



1.let her nurse, get her very cozy, drift off to sleep with the breast,



2.(all this time hold/lay on the pacifier so it is warm and not a cold hard chunk of plastic)



3. slip out your nipple and replace it (quickly) with the pacifier! voila



another key is to find the one thats right for her! when i had my daughter i had gotten those soothie* pacifiers because that is what the sister inlaw said was best and my neice took those. soon i found that my baby just sip them back out, all the nipples are different, try to experiment with a variety. mine likes the playtex pacifires shaped like butterflies with the latex nipple. just try this with a different one each night and eventually you'll get the one that she wont notice the difference.

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2009

1

7

0

My daugher is now nearly nine but I had a similar problem when she was a baby.  I breast fed until she was 13 months old, but managed to break the nightime issues by giving her water in a feeder cup. It was tough to start as she didn't want that, but eventually she got the message. She refused bottles/pacifiers at all so we moved onto cup feeding milk and water which helped to wean her off the night time feeds. might be worth a try if not already done so.

Jennet - posted on 04/03/2009

1

0

0

I have 3 great boys and each went through this stage...basically she is looking to be pacified and looking for company. Babies at that age are becoming more social and miss you when they wake up in the night. Go to her when she cries, hold for a minute, then settle her back in her crib. If she fusses and cries, let her cry for a few minutes and then go to her. Don't linger and don't talk to her, just soothe her enough to calm her down, and go back to bed. It will be a few nights of this, but she'll soon learn to do it on her own. Good luck.

Camille - posted on 04/02/2009

19

25

2

Thanx again everyone but I must say AGAIN!! My intent is not to wean her from breastfeeding at all.  I still plan and continue to do this.  I only want her to stop waking just bc my boob isn't in her mouth bc she is not constantly hungry all night long! Now update:  The night before last when she woke up, I would feed her a bottle and she was fine with it she would go back to sleep and everything was fine, great, wonderful, all I asked for, but it does get tiring although I DO KNOW SHE'S A BABY AND IS GONNA CRY AND I AM ALWAYS THERE AND WILLING TO COMFORT HER (just want to get that out bf I get flooded with notifications on how im a bad mom) anyway so last night, she woke up and the first two times was fairly close to when she fell asleep so I knew she wasnt hungry so I jsut let her cry.  I went into her room just to make sure nothing was really wrong with her and let her cry a little and she only cried for like 30 sec to a minute and was out like a light! Usually when I hear her make any sound like she starting to cry I'd rush in there, sometimes tripping over my own feet bc I cant get there fast enough, adn pick  her up. But this time I didn't and it worked.  She did however, end up in bed with me bc it started thundering and lightening and i didnt want her to be scared, but still I continued to give her a bottle and only nursed her once and she did fairly well.  Again, thanx for all the SUPPORTIVE help! Now I must go bc she is hungry now and wants to be nursed!



Oh btw, yes I have tried seriously EVERY last pacifier ther is on the market.  I should take a pic and show you guys how many pacifier I have.  One day I went into BBRU and bought every kind on the shelf.  it was expensive, but I needed something.  She uses breastflow bottles,  and they currently don't make any pacifiers.  Overall, I am happy she refused them bc that would just be something else to wean her from in the long run. :-)

This conversation has been closed to further comments

59 Comments

View replies by

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/15/2014

21,273

9

3058

~Locking-old thread-feel free to start a new one~

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Tanya - posted on 03/14/2014

2

0

1

I am having the same problem. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. Currently it is like I'm a single mom, my husband is working crazy hours and not really home much. I also have a 4 year old, so I don't get any sleep lately. He won't take a paci, use to, but not any more. CIO doesn't work for me or my family, nothing seems to work, tried bringing him to bed and comfort him but that doesn't wotk, rocking doesn't work unless standing and that is a struggle, as soon as I think its ok and try to put him down he screams. I made the mistake early on by running to him when he cried because I didn't want to wake the house... I'm fine with the breastfeeding, but the waking every 3-4hrs to pacify through the night is exhausting. I know this sounds terrible, I love my babe, but am feeling like giving up the breast feeding...but then what? Sorry for the rant, I wish I had an answer and hope you find help too.

Lua_poa - posted on 07/09/2013

1

0

0

My baby is only 4 months old and he already started to use me as his pacifier :( It started during the night when he started teething... Now it is all the time day and night... He use to sleep 6 hrs now he is up every 3 to 2 hr and no he is not having a growth spurt. I found this out when he started just screaming all the time and the only way for him to stop was to give him my boob and he would not be drinking but just sucking on it.
I have hyperlactation syndrome and I should not pump or my milk supply goes nuts and I really do not want to give him formula... So I think the bottle will not work for me.
I did try to let him cry, but trust me he can cry non-stop! After having 2 hrs a sleep for a week I had to let him cry and he cried until he vomited I felt so bad that I now have him sleeping in my bed and I have given in with the boob thing. But in less then a week it has been escalating fast. What should I do?

Cathy - posted on 04/03/2009

12

39

0

I was against the "control crying" until my sister(who sound exactly like u do-on breast all night sleeping with her baby)and she came ascross a book on the internet called The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman.It has worked wonders for both of us as we now both have 2 kids each.I found this book so wonderful and it made me feel sane again after a week or two of trying what she says.The book is not forceful and gives u several options on how to do it that makes u comfortable.No one likes to hear their baby cry but u need sleep too u know and feeding all the time does drain u i know.Dont wean her if u dont want to,just listen to ur instincts.i fed my first til she was 1yr old and i loved it.My son is now 4 mnths old and sleeps just about all night with usually only 1 wake up call during the night,feed and i am back in bed after only 20-30mins.Ur baby just needs to learn to go to sleep by herself.She is gorgeous by the way.I hope i haven't gone on too much!!!!!Good Luck.

[deleted account]

If letting her cry for a bit doesn't work, I would try bringing her to bed with you so you can still rest, but don't offer your breast. Just try soothing her without nursing. Once she gets used to not being nursed, she may start to sleep on her own a little longer each night. My son is 11 months old and he still occasionally gets up at night to nurse, but even a night of "sleeping through" is generally only about 6 hours! lol It is so tiring, I know, but before long she will grow out of it and you may actually miss it!

Felicia - posted on 04/02/2009

6

27

2

LOL i know your feeling well, anytime there is something wrong with my 13 month old she turns straight to my boobs for comfort i have had to get tough on her and just give her cuddles and let her work it out that boobs aint everything lol a bit of tough love is in order dont be so willing to let your boob out to her it's up to you to tell them what is right them dont let them tell you or they will for the rest of their lives

. I fed both of my kids and continued to feed my son until i found out i was pregnant with my daughter there is nothing wrong with feeding your kids right up until they are 2 it's what the midwives told me anyway if you have the milk use it. I think alot of ppl see it as a problem when mother's feed after 6 months but i wouldnt be worried i have loved feeding mine we are the lucky ones who can some ppl cant so if it is instinct to want to continue feeding her then do it trust what your instincts tell you dont worry about what anyone else thinks.

Now as for her waking up 3 to 4 times a night i had that problem with my son right up until he was 2 i really wouldnt worry so much kids do things when they are ready alot like us at times. My daughter is 13 months and she is still waking at night she also gets up into my bed at about 1am and feeds on and off all night im so used to it now it almost feels normal so you are not alone with the problems you are facing.

Anna - posted on 04/02/2009

75

24

2

next time go in, but dont nurse. Just pat her back, keep her in her crib, and talk to her. Then walk out, and leave her for about 15-20 minutes. If shes still crying, you can nurse if you like, but at that age, she doesnt need to nurse at night. Have you tried sereously sticking to the CIO method? If you waver in it at all after starting it, youll confuse her, and it wont work as well afterwards. Perhaps you tried it and then gave up, and now thats why she is so persistant in her crying?

Lacey - posted on 04/02/2009

36

15

9

All of my kids did the same to me, they'd wake my up at various times in the night for comfort. I didn't take any of them to bed, the closest we came was a cradle beside my bed. Usually I would rock them and nurse until they were just about asleep then take the boob away and just rock. Then put them back into the cradle, leaving my hand on them for the comfort. Slowly I reduced the time they were allowed to suckle until I was just rocking them, then cut that down until they learned to eventually put themselves back to sleep. I also keep a toy or two (usually stuffed or blanket like) with them so they'd have someone to stare at or play with.

Tamika - posted on 04/02/2009

2

33

0

I think the fact that she is having solids and using a bottle some of the time will help your case. First i would stop letting her fall asleep on you, try singing to her as often as you can once she finishes her feed or read her a book and do this once she is her own bed too. That would be another way of letting her know you are still there. Definitely try one of your t shirts, she is guaranteed to be comforted by it when she wakes up without you. You could try a dummy (pacifier in the US) but if she has done without one for 7 months, many parents will be reluctant to introduce one. If you want to continue to breastfeed definitely stick with it because we all know that is what is best for baby, in fact the world health organisation (organization in US) recommends breast milk till 2 years of age. Expect a tear or two in whatever you try, things become second nature to babies within a couple of days of something new. When you decide to change something, most important thing is to stick to it. Just keep letting her know you are there, your instincts will tell you what is right for you and your child.

Phoebe - posted on 04/02/2009

1

21

0

Hi my name is Phoebe , my son is now 3yrs old  , I breast feed for 18 months , I to tried to wean him at 1yr , but it did not work . Then at 18 months I got tired of it , he wanted the boob to fall asleep , he to also used me as a pacifier , one night  i let him cry it out , I knew he was not hungry, it broke my heart , but it WORKED !!!!! . He cried for about 20 minutes , took a big fit, but he did stop and eventually fell asleep . I think it hurt me more then it hurt him , but as simple as that he never asked for the boob again . He then used my chest for comfort after that , he wanted to rest his head on my chest , rest his hands there and I was ok with that , It was a battle to wean him because it did take me six months , I had asked  my public health nurse for ideas she just kepted saying Breast Is Best !!!!  Just hang in there , it will get better :)

Rebecca - posted on 04/01/2009

7

17

1

Quoting Charlene:



Babies main nutrition is supposed to be breast milk for at least six mos., and the longer the better.  Nutritionally, they don't even need anything else for over a year. At 7 mos. old, she should have just fairly recently started solids, so maybe you should reconsider weaning.  I'm planning on breastfeeding until my son is 1 1/2 to 2 years old.  That's not for everyone, i know, but the longer you breastfeed, the better.  You'll miss it when she's older.





Props to Charlene!  As I said in a previous comment, I breastfed my son til he was 20 months old and even then, he weaned himself.  He did so great and it is soooo rare that he is sick.  I love my "momma's boy" and there is nothing like that bond.  Just wanted to say how nice it is to see someone aiming for more than a year!  It did get kind of weird when he started saying please and thank you for it though!  LOL!  One of my neices has just turned 2 and she is still breastfeeding.  The weirdest thing about that is the fact that she is completely infatuated with Victoria's Secret magazines!  Only the bra section, mind you!  Give her one of those and she's content for an hour just pointing and saying "Oh, booby!"  Ha ha!

Rebecca - posted on 04/01/2009

7

17

1

My son breastfed until he was 20 months old.  It got to the point where I would not even feel him latch on.  My ex sister-in-law, on the other hand, believed in the "letting the child cry itself to sleep" method.  I think it sort of depends on what you feel you want your child to be like later.  My experience is that my son, even though I went through an annoying time for a while, is a momma's boy who is extremely affectionate.  My niece (the one that cried herself to sleep) on the other hand, is a very independant child who has little desire to ever show affection.  I have to feel that these actions are connected to the way they were treated.  Neither were mis-treated, just treated differently.  My son is no better than her daughter, I just think we ended up with what we wanted.  She wanted her daughter to be super independant, and that is what she got.  I wanted my son to be affectionate and loving and that is exactly what I got.  I allowed him to wean himself dispite the harsh comments that some people made.  He is a very well adapted child that you can take anywhere and he is doing wonderful.  It is a rare occassion that he is ever sick as well (bonus!).



 



Point is: Jayden went through times where he seemed to "need" me more than others.  Those times would pass relatively quickly.  Don't give up until you give it a chance to get out of her system.  She goes through so many changes through the first year.  Allow her a chance to calm down and if she "needs" you right now, maybe she is feeling a little stress elsewhere.  There's no way to tell.  Use patience and your instinct.  This too shall pass.

User - posted on 04/01/2009

4

5

0

oh and the pacifier thing, she could be noticing that you are with her primarily when she wants to suck.  So the best thing to do is that when you hear her stop to feed, you put her down in the crib (lights completely off, and soothing sounds in the background--to train her brain that night and dark mean sleep and not play) then keep your hand on her for comfort, and if she stays laying down, stay there until she falls asleep.  If she physically stands up, lay her back down and lull her to sleep.  If she cries too much pick her up and rock her, if you are okay with this.  Then continue to encourage her by laying her down and patting her to sleep.  Eventually you should just be able to lay her down with out patting her (but my child is  a year old, and we are still training), main point is don't let her feed unless she is hungry, and follow your gut on when to actually pick her up.  You are doing what is best for your baby's personality style.  Perhaps her way of feeling loved is just knowing you are close.  If she really needs to suck, then finding the right pacifier is important, but some kids really just don't take to them, and trying EVERY single one is super expensive.  So follow your gut, give her that comfort without using your breasts



 



Good luck

User - posted on 04/01/2009

4

5

0

some people's replies are ridiculous.  Don't allow other people to put you down, this time in life can be stressful, especially if the baby is not sleeping, and eating according to your own expectations or desires. 



My oldest son is 5 and he did everything that every mom would have wanted (slept through the night, didn't fuss when we quit breast feeding, or changed from bottle to cup etc).  My now 1 year old is the total opposite.  It was a total shift in thinking, and it was difficult, but at the end of the day, this time is special.  It will pass by like a dream, and though I hate waking up at night, sometimes I take the time to remember that his tiny little nose will someday grow... and those tiny little hands will outgrow mine.  And that barely there hair will one day drive him crazy because of some girl.  At those times, I wish that I could just freeze the moment forever.  So bottom line, even though it is hard at times, just remember that you can only do your best.  So try to do your best with each child always.  And remember too that, these moments will pass.  The phases they go through will also pass, and when they are grown up, we will all be left wondering where did this time go?



 



Good luck, and God bless you!

[deleted account]

Babies main nutrition is supposed to be breast milk for at least six mos., and the longer the better.  Nutritionally, they don't even need anything else for over a year. At 7 mos. old, she should have just fairly recently started solids, so maybe you should reconsider weaning.  I'm planning on breastfeeding until my son is 1 1/2 to 2 years old.  That's not for everyone, i know, but the longer you breastfeed, the better.  You'll miss it when she's older.

Hannah - posted on 04/01/2009

11

21

2

you could try letting her cry for a slightly longer time dependant of course on what shes used to. she may begin to learn its not worth the trouble

Sharon - posted on 04/01/2009

9

28

1

Dont worry it gets easier. For one if you want to keep breast feeding which you should. It makes them much more stronger and ammune to sicknesses. I breast fed both my girls and i can tell you they can eat. I started to give her a bottle at night with my breat milk and some corn flour or barley. Barley is good for the stomach. I use to give her the bottle at about 7p.m. and she would sleep through the night. It makes them hevy and they sleep stronger. try it it may work. You have to understand that breast milk gives all the vitamins and etc but it isnt enough because soon they will start to have fruit and soup and you know the rest. Dont give up on breast feeding it is the most amazing expeirece for you and your baby. Try the bottle with cereal before bed at night and let me know how it goes. good luck and i hope i helped you. sharon

Sarah - posted on 04/01/2009

6

30

0

I think breastfeeding is a huge comfort to baby and that is a good thing! Is being a human pacifier so bad? Baby looks to mummy for love and comfort and nothing soothes a baby quite like a nuzzle! These things tends to pass and I'd say just go with it - it's really not a problem - make the most of every precsious minute with your little one because as a mummy of 4 - believe me they will be all grown up before you know it x

[deleted account]

my son did exactly the same thing, and even during the day, to get to sleep he would sometimes want to suck on my arm, to help him fall asleep. when he was about 11 months old, i got my husband to get up with him at night.that way he couldnt smell my breastmilk. it took a while, and he still wakes up now during the night for comfort.(hes 18 months old now) he likes to know that we are still there! this is something im still having trouble with actually. and would love to know how i can prevent the waking at night for cuddles with mum and dad!!

[deleted account]

just read that you say she refuses a paci, my son did as well. I would try rocking, rubbing her back, singing, patting her bottom to get her back to sleep not nursing everytime. You might have a fight for a week or two, but she will get it.

[deleted account]

start using a real pacifier. I nursed my son till he was 22 months old and he never really used me for a paci much, my my cousin had this problem and started using a pace and also dont let her nurse if she isnt hungry try rubbing her back and calming her back to sleep in other ways.

Jenny - posted on 04/01/2009

4

16

0

Cut out one night feeding each week by distracting her or having someone else try to get her back to sleep instead of you. It takes determination but you can do it. Breastmilk is best but not all throughout the night, she is just used to it so you have to let her know that we sleep during the night. She is very very cute!! You Can Do It!

Anne - posted on 04/01/2009

28

16

3

My 6month old takes a binkie (pacifier) but sometimes all she wants is the breast, so I indulge her. The binkie helps, especially at night, but she will only take one certain kind, NAM, so maybe your baby is the same way. Although I will say that she still sleeps with us, so it is easier for me at night cuz I can just roll over and let her suck and we both usually fall back asleep right away.

Alyssa - posted on 04/01/2009

2

9

0

have you tried EVERY pacifier out there? there are hundreds of different kinds, try finding one that is the same brand as your bottles you use. babies r us has a HUGE selection!

Camille - posted on 04/01/2009

19

25

2

thanx again everyone, but I guess there is a misunderstanding...I do not want to wean her from breastfeeding and I don't mind it at all.  That's not my intention at all...stay tuned for that in a few months, lol. I know I am doing what's best for my daughter.  I plan to do it until she's afound a year.  My concern was her using me as a pacifier all night.  Although I would like to sleep all night undisturbed, I do not really mind waking to feed her at all.  If she's hungry then of course I want to feed her.  I just wante suggestions to get her to stop pacifying on me all night, not feeding.  Having someone nibble on you for hours is ridiculous and very nerve wrecking.  Drives me crazy at times!  But thanx again, I just wanted to clear that up.

User - posted on 04/01/2009

1

14

0

i have had 4 girls and breast fed them all, they are 17,15,10 and 8 years old .none of them were good sleepers and tried different methods ,My eldest only breast fed for 4 months because of pressure i recieved from everyone else telling my i should be stopping now and not having breast feeding facilities when i went out back then, i have always regretted doing that. My second breast fed till 8 months old but at 2 she still wasnt sleeping through the night and i left her to cry, it took about a week but it worked but it also changed her personalitly and not for the better :-(so regret that too lol ,and my last 2 i fed till they were 2 years old and loved and cherished every minute of it and they both weaned when THEY were ready , yes it was a pain being woken up every few hours but i wouldnt change it for the world because although it seems like forever at the time its actually only a very short time in yours and their lives it last for.They all slept in bed with me and even now still come and snuggle in bed before they get up for school which i still love, admitedly my 2 eldest only do it at weekends lol, i need a 7 foot bed lol. All in all its totally up to you and your baby , do what works for you and dont feel pressurised by anyone else :-)

Robin - posted on 03/31/2009

2

4

0

My son who will be a year tomorrow is/was the same way.  At about 8 or nine months said enough and let him cry it out.  I started by letting him cry for 2 minutes going in there laying him down and then leaving. He would of course start crying and I would let him cry for 3 min each time going back in and laying him down but not picking him up.  We worked our way up to 5 -7 minutes.  It took about 3 days for him to realize that I wasn't going to feed him every time he got up or put him in bed with me.  He now only gets up once to nurse and it is quick and back to bed. Hope this helps.

Aleta - posted on 03/31/2009

13

8

0

my son did the same thing and it was the hardest thing i could do but i just said no and when he cried i just let him dr said thats ok and when he realized he wasnt getting it he went to sleep...

Nicole - posted on 03/31/2009

6

14

1

I was 'human pacifier' for my son as well. Your post brought back some memories for sure! I didn't wean him until 19 months (at that point - only nap and nightime nursing) and he raged and cried. It was THE worst night ever and to this day I regret weaning him before he was ready. My daughter has been different - much more independent in many ways, but at 2 1/2 still nurses as well (nap and nighttime). One thing suggested to me for my son was to, while holding him in the middle of the night letting him nurse and then trying to substitute the pacifier to get him onto the pacifier at night - it didn't work. Neither of them ever took to a pacifier. I know it's hard - all the wakings and such. I think in another post someone wrote she's doing it for comfort. Pain in the butt for you - but if that's what she wants and needs...? And if she's in daycare and bouncing between households she might need that extra security and reassurance (please, this is absolutely NOT a criticism, but a pragmatic comment). Truly, these difficult days of little sleep and constant demands will go by faster than you can imagine. Through the fatigue, try to cherish every little bit of your time together - especially as you seem to be apart for extended periods. Maybe view the time as your bonding time and a special time together - as obviously only mommy can or will do for her at those moments! Can you read with a nightlight? Use the time to reflect, pray, catch up on emails, etc while and until she goes back to sleep??? My son and daughter have both co-slept with us and he was a swing baby as well. We started the co-sleeping thing when he was about 8 mos following a stomach virus and having to nurse more to keep him hydrated. It was the only way we all got any sleep! Maybe if you just brought her to bed - she'd learn to be pacified knowing you're there and wouldn't need to nurse? My daughter didn't start co-sleeping with us until after a vacation when she was almost 2. You have to filter out what people tell you and take from it what works for you and, more importantly, for your daughter. She's only this age and at this stage once! And it's gone before you know it. Embrace the difficulties, they ease and new ones come and go at different stages. Mothering is truly THE hardest job ever! The irony is that we now have so many luxuries, time and conveniences that previous generations did not have; but have such busier lives and, it seems, greater complications! Best of luck to you!

User - posted on 03/31/2009

1

10

0

WEll, let me put it this way.....there is no right or wrong time to quit breastfeeding. I had four daughters and the last one went past two years!  My oldest daughter planned it at one year but ended up being past two years as well!  You have to practice patience if you want to wean them.  There are only two ways to wean them, one is aburptly stop that night and give a cup.  Other is to give it only in the morning and at night then slowly go to giving up the morning and only do it and night then go the next step to stop giving at night. Only a warning here....some babies cry and cry when they are getting weaned...be ready for it!  The more you stop the better the outcome.  The longer you linger with give ins the harder you will have it, and the child too.  If you feel uncomfortable quiting...then don't quit.  My daughter used to nurse her child in the dressing rooms or the bathrooms and it was convenience enough.  The dressing rooms add a great privacy. Many store staff understand that very much.



Now since you said you have formula....and really want her to get off the boob....just do not let her have it at all and only give the formula...but I suggest you try using the cup!  When breast feeding a whole lot of milk flow comes out compared to the bottle. The cup is the same as the breast give that a try!



One other thing...your child is still young...not all babies sleep the night. My daughter's son never slept the night until he was approx. 18 months. My second daughter never slept the night and woke me 3-4 times a night and was not nursing and when she finally slept the night she was 10 months old.  Ilearned that she hated the crib and I immediately switched her to the twin bed with bed rails up and she slept the night.  The same happened to my good friend's baby.  Hope this info helps!





Fabby - posted on 03/31/2009

14

14

4

dont worry about disturbing neighbours for a week, in the long run they'l be thankful

Fabby - posted on 03/31/2009

14

14

4

so she's got boob, pacifier, night time stimulation, daycare, formula and solids? That's a lot to chew!

i always say, do not introduce anything you know you are going to want to take off her. 7 months is a very respectable amount of time to breast feed and I stopped feeding my son (1st born) around then because coupled with his size and stage of development, he just outgrew me. if you are finding your daily routine limits feedin (i.e. daycare and others offering formula) then consider stopping. My son did not sleep thru the night once till i stopped feeding him because breast was worth waking up for, bottle was not. I infact skipped bottle completely and went straight to beaker as he just would not suck a teat. If you stop breast and dummy you will for sure have a couple of very sleepless nights but it reall yis only a couple. Then you will be rewarded with a baby who sleeps thru, and a baby who is not so confused about breat, bottle, solids, and varying food givers. She will probably increase her solid intake too which will go a long way towards enabling her to sleep thru the night. Good luck and I hope this helps. Remember you are the grown up and she will follow your lead. :-)

[deleted account]

My son is now 2 and what you described sounds like what we did.  We put him to sleep in his bed then when he woke up for his night feeding, I would just bring him to bed with me so I could get some sleep.  He took a pacifier for about 2 months, maybe.  He would rather have comfort from me than a piece of plastic.  I managed to make it to 1 year of breast feeding but I started minimizing it at about 10 months.  This helped alot with weening.  But the time he was one he had 4 teeth and would bite alot, so it ended just soon enough.



Once he was weened, we decided that once he was in his bed that was it.  The only exception was if he had a dirty diaper, but then it was right back into bed.  I think this helped us with the transition to his toddler bed.

User - posted on 03/31/2009

1

5

0

My daughter never took a pacifier and quite often used me as one as well. I think she was about your daughter's age when she was doing it. I never brought her back into my bed--mainly because I couldn't sleep with her because she is too wiggly. I also do not believe in letting children "cry it out" because I don't think they do. I just stuck with it. She will grow out of it, it just takes awhile. My daughter turned one earlier this month and will still wake up once during the night, but it is not every night now. My suggestion is to not nurse every time your daughter wakes up during the night. Just quietly go into her room, pick her up, and rock her without saying anything. Once she falls back asleep place her back into her crib. You will still be getting up and you will be tired, but it might help. This will show your daughter that you are still there for her if she needs you and that she doesn't need to nurse to fall asleep.

Catherine - posted on 03/31/2009

4

0

0

I was a human pacified for my first. I just slept with her and let her suckle me. She never took a pacifier and took formula from a bottle but at 15 months, if she fell down and got hurt I could comfort her so quickly and easily. I would have kept going until 2 years but was pregnant with a second when she was 15 months so weened her then. My second could not be bothered with breast feeding at all. She maybe went 2 months and barely tried. I'm pregnant with my third and hope she's more like the first than the second. This close time of holding and cuddling does not last forever.

Lori - posted on 03/30/2009

10

3

1

Quoting Jackie:

First off stop using words like addicted and dependant! She is suppose to be depentant on you.. you are her mother. And yes you should be her pacifer you will be her pacifer for the rest of her life in one form or another. You need to learn to look at this in a different light so you can do whats best for your daughter. I was my sons pacifer. When he was 10 months old he went through a terrible hospital stay and the doctors and nurses kept asking if he had a soother or a fav toy/blanket. Of course he didn't he came to his mom for all his emotional needs like mother nature intended. My point is its not only normal and natural its how it was intended. A trick to night pacifing that my sister uses is to bring the baby into bed with you but turn her back to your belly or on her belly. Rub her and calm her but make sure she is facing away from the breast. Sometimes its more about feeling you close to her then it is about a need to nurse. As for weening.. thats up to you and not up to anyone else!



And I don't know if Jackie has any teenagers or not...if not, good luck when that time comes!

Lori - posted on 03/30/2009

10

3

1

Quoting Jackie:

First off stop using words like addicted and dependant! She is suppose to be depentant on you.. you are her mother. And yes you should be her pacifer you will be her pacifer for the rest of her life in one form or another. You need to learn to look at this in a different light so you can do whats best for your daughter. I was my sons pacifer. When he was 10 months old he went through a terrible hospital stay and the doctors and nurses kept asking if he had a soother or a fav toy/blanket. Of course he didn't he came to his mom for all his emotional needs like mother nature intended. My point is its not only normal and natural its how it was intended. A trick to night pacifing that my sister uses is to bring the baby into bed with you but turn her back to your belly or on her belly. Rub her and calm her but make sure she is facing away from the breast. Sometimes its more about feeling you close to her then it is about a need to nurse. As for weening.. thats up to you and not up to anyone else!



I am not my kids pacifier! I am my kids MOTHER, teacher, and person who cares for the and guides them to NOT depend on me for everything. I am supposed to teach them how to be independent, happy people! Independence comes slowly, but it starts somewhere! She at 7 months old is old enough to cry it out. Easier said than done, I know, but she is not doing her daughter any favors allowing this to continue. Self-esteem comes from not having your Mommy do everything for you, but them saying to you Look Mommy I did it all by myself! And no one is supposed to be their child's pacifier for the rest of their life! LOL Wow codependency!

Kristin - posted on 03/30/2009

48

7

1

My suggestion would be see if she will perhaps take a security blanket and suck on that. My daughter is only 3 months, so haven't got this struggle yet. Stephanie's suggestion about something from her father's is a good idea... maybe a pillowcase or something like that??? Something that smells like him maybe. Babies have amazing sense of smell.

Good luck!

Brandy - posted on 03/30/2009

1

25

0

You have to just find something else that will soothe her to sleep. My son used to be addicted to his pacifier he called it a "tie tie" he would not sleep without it. It took like a weekend of him crying it out but I also found out that it was comforting to him to rub his ears at night and he would go right to sleep. You just have to try some different things out and you will eventually be able to get her to sleep without you being her pacifier.

Stephanie - posted on 03/30/2009

44

23

0

You say she doesn't do this at her fathers? Take something from her father's. Pref something she sleeps with and give it to her at your house. good luck. And as for people telling you to ween her, it's none of their buisness, you're her mother, do what you feel is best for your child.

Camille - posted on 03/30/2009

19

25

2

Quoting Tammy:



Quoting Jackie:

First off stop using words like addicted and dependant! She is suppose to be depentant on you.. you are her mother. And yes you should be her pacifer you will be her pacifer for the rest of her life in one form or another. You need to learn to look at this in a different light so you can do whats best for your daughter. I was my sons pacifer. When he was 10 months old he went through a terrible hospital stay and the doctors and nurses kept asking if he had a soother or a fav toy/blanket. Of course he didn't he came to his mom for all his emotional needs like mother nature intended. My point is its not only normal and natural its how it was intended. A trick to night pacifing that my sister uses is to bring the baby into bed with you but turn her back to your belly or on her belly. Rub her and calm her but make sure she is facing away from the breast. Sometimes its more about feeling you close to her then it is about a need to nurse. As for weening.. thats up to you and not up to anyone else!


My thoughts exactly! You just beat me to the punch =-)



She didn't say the baby was dependant on her she said dependant on the boob as a pacifier.  And yes she will be a pacifier in one form or another the rest of her life we are looking for a different way to soothe without being the pacifier.  Saying the baby is dependant and addicted to the boob is the way she sees it and its exactly how she feels.  There is nothing wrong with the question or the way it was asked.  She knows shes her mother and that the baby is dependant on her and shes obviously a caring and wonderful mom to not want to hear here cry and to have struggled though it this far.  Im sure the boob is sore by now like I am with my pacifier baby :)  and its time for another alternative.  I too intend to BF till she weans herself.  I think I will try the back to belly thing.  But your question is exactly what I wanted to know to and there is nothing wrong with the way your thinking.





 

Camille - posted on 03/30/2009

19

25

2

Quoting Michelle:

I slept with my daughter til she was 4 months. The first couple nights she would wake up crying wanting to nurse. You just have to let her cry. It will be hard but once she gets used to not feeding at those times she will stop waking up and crying.



How long would she cry for and how many nights did it take? She only does this when we are home.  When we are over her father's she tends not to do this and will generally sleep longer hours.  I don't know what it is with her.  I'm at a lost for words...

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2009

53

18

2

I slept with my daughter til she was 4 months. The first couple nights she would wake up crying wanting to nurse. You just have to let her cry. It will be hard but once she gets used to not feeding at those times she will stop waking up and crying.

Jackie - posted on 03/30/2009

623

44

93

First off stop using words like addicted and dependant! She is suppose to be depentant on you.. you are her mother. And yes you should be her pacifer you will be her pacifer for the rest of her life in one form or another. You need to learn to look at this in a different light so you can do whats best for your daughter. I was my sons pacifer. When he was 10 months old he went through a terrible hospital stay and the doctors and nurses kept asking if he had a soother or a fav toy/blanket. Of course he didn't he came to his mom for all his emotional needs like mother nature intended. My point is its not only normal and natural its how it was intended. A trick to night pacifing that my sister uses is to bring the baby into bed with you but turn her back to your belly or on her belly. Rub her and calm her but make sure she is facing away from the breast. Sometimes its more about feeling you close to her then it is about a need to nurse. As for weening.. thats up to you and not up to anyone else!

Camille - posted on 03/30/2009

19

25

2

Quoting Tammy:



My 7 month old is the exact same!  She uses me as a pacifier she has never taken a pacifier and she is stubborn and relentless.  She does not get droopy and sleepy like other babies either.  I to am lost as to how to fix it.






Wow, it seems we have the same baby!

Matti - posted on 03/30/2009

38

12

16

  I have always found that you follow your own mothers instinct.  Do what you feel comfortable.  I have 6 kids ranging in ages from 26-6 and they are good kids (two in pre-med and one in nursing)  The pacifier didnt hurt them one bit. 



Everyone will have "rules" but you are the one raising your baby, not them.  Every child is different and you know your child more than anyone else!



Good luck!



Love your baby for who she is!



Matti

Camille - posted on 03/30/2009

19

25

2

Quoting Desiree:

Well, refusing a pacifier is something my kids have done, too. I'm thinking (and this is just advice, take it as you will) that it might make it a little easier in the long run to let her cry at night for a while. At this age, they'll generally learn to go to sleep again on their own, but it's hard to listen to, also! I don't really know of any other solutions, besides waiting it out. Good luck, though!



I've considered the CIO method but I can't stand to let her cry bc she is very stubborn and will seriously cry for like an hour straight.  She doesn't generally tire out like most babies.  She's relentless!!! Lol, and as soon as I go and get her, nurse her, she goes immediately to sleep.  I have the next week off from school so i plan on doing something to fix this problem within this week, but I live in an apartment and don't want to disturb my neighbors..Agh!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms