my 7yr old grandson is always so sad

Denise - posted on 07/14/2011 ( 87 moms have responded )

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I am desperate for help,my 7yr old grandson,is above average at school, but at home is always so sad and hates his 5yr old sister.he loves going on his x box but gets moody if he doesnt win and he can be like this for hours,and it brings the mood of the house down,at school he is happy and popular

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JuLeah - posted on 07/14/2011

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GRRRR ... we are so quick to jump to labels. Odds are this kids is NOT happy at school. Two years above his grade???



Odds are he puts on a show, cause he knows he has to. He keeps up a brave face at school.



He comes home and his real feelings come out. X-box is escape. Little sister is all he wants to be but won't ever be.



If this kid has any kind of disorder, you'd see it across all settings. Kids are don't have autisum just from 8:30 - 3pm for nine months of the year.



If he has social skills at school, then he has that ability.



BUT, How do you know he is happy or popluar at school? You have visited? You have seen him interact with his friends?



How many of these friends will hang out with him after school or on the weekends? Maybe he doesn't actually have the friends he says?



Get him into a sport, Aikido might be a good thing. Out of the house and away from the x-box. You don't want him leaning that escape is the way to deal with problems.



I have worked with many kids labeled 'gifted' they most all struggle to fit in, struggle with depression .... they need help and I have found advancing them years in school, emotionally, is seldom a good idea.

Jenn - posted on 07/14/2011

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Very good points, JuLeah. Though many gifted children are on the spectrum just never diagnosed as so. My sister is gifted. She skipped two grades and LOVED school but was obviously immature for her grade. She had (has) many "quirks" and when she was studying for her second Masters degree in early childhood development, she began to see herself in the many children with autism she worked with. She opened a school for children with autism three years ago and truly believes she connects with the kids because she too is on the spectrum, though she never had herself diagnosed. It isn't a BAD thing to be labeled with autism. That label has only existed for a few decades but autism itself goes far back in history. And some VERY successful people were and are on the spectrum. Unfortunately many people hear "autism" and think of flapping hands, tantrums and social inability. That's what makes it so difficult for high-functioning adults and children with autism in this judgemental world of ours.

I do agree that NO child needs to be spending numerous hours on Xbox or any other video game. It isn't healthy for anyone!

A school counselor could probably help determine if your grandson is unhappy in school. Kids trust the counselors because they are familiar faces and not connected to their family.

Jenn - posted on 07/14/2011

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He could be jealous of his little sister too. Are the parents partial to her? Kids don't generally hate their siblings unless there is something else underlying. At school he may feel he gets the attention he craves that he doesn't get at home. Have you talked to the parents to make sure they are aware of what is going on?

Kids think differently than adults and say odd things at random times. That is normal!

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2011

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Denise, has anyone ever taken him to see a doctor about it? Or a therapist or psychologist? It's hard to know online what is going on, but being 2 years above his age at school, but all this moodiness, it may be something deeper. I can, however, vouch that 5 year old sisters are annoying and obnoxious. My 13 year old finds the same thing......

Anyway, I would suggest that someone consider taking him to see a therapist or cousellor. Many highly intelligent people struggle with their social skills, and this *could* be what is going on. It's worth checking out.

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2011

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What sort of games is he playing on the xbox? From my experience, many of the games available for xbox are rather unsuitable for a 7 year old, which is why I ask. Also, if the xbox is creating moodiness and poor behaviour, I would ban the use of the xbox.

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Megan - posted on 08/10/2011

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I would get him enrolled in some sort of counseling. they have different methods that can pinpoint what exactly is going on !! GL

Megan - posted on 08/10/2011

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I would get him enrolled in some sort of counseling. they have different methods that can pinpoint what exactly is going on !! GL

Paulette - posted on 08/05/2011

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I am a special education teacher who has worked with Autism and the gifted with obsession and smelling foods does point to htis although he is popular at school does seem to contradict this.Sometimes bright children need more social skills with younger children.Also it sounds strange but Autism is now linking to gut disorders brain fog etc.A good acidophilus and amino acids isproported to help.There is a more wholistic bent towards this.The last redbank conference was pointing towards fish oil and the naturopath conference said acidophalus . a good quality on e and dose every day for aweek.Then normal doseAntibiotics may have also created depression which even now affects children sadlyIt can only help doing natural things as they aren;t full of side affects like medecines used..

App+7mnejhu - posted on 08/05/2011

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Is there something going on with favoritism? Is he being compared to his sister? Even little comments like,"You're so sad, look at your sister, you used to be happy like her" can create resentment. Does she get away with things or is her always being told he needs to set the example for his sister? There just doesn't seem to be enough information but watching the family dynamics and his reactions to certain things may indicate what is bothering him.

Brittney - posted on 07/30/2011

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Sounds like your grandson needs some quality alone time with mom and dad. Have the day be all about him.

Sharon - posted on 07/30/2011

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I am guessing that with a 5 year old sister, she might be getting preferential treatment, and he might be feeling he gets yelled at for everyting? I agree wit the XBOX, take it away if it makes him moody, but I am thinking it is deeper then that.

Love - posted on 07/29/2011

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Your grandson sounds like my son a little bit. However, no matter how mad he seems to be I still give him a time limit on his games. That might help with his "moody" attitude.If my son gets frustrated with his game I tell him he has to turn it off if its going to make him act that way. He knows and changes his attitude while playing. And with his sister, my son is the same way. I just keep encouraging them to do activities together and praise them when he does somthing good for her.

Beth - posted on 07/29/2011

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Hi Denise, Bad moods or depression can weigh down any happy situation. Sometimes when a child is regularly happy and successful in one setting and unhappy in another, you can compare both settings to get some answers. If he is popular in school, he probably has a some friends his own age to spend his schooldays with. Is he happier at home when he has friends his own age to play with? If there is a school subject he really likes, for example, science or music, he might really appreciate a walk in the back yard or park with you, or listening to his favorite kind of music together. He probably loves his sister in his heart, but when they play together, he has to play 5 year old games, and he's already been there & done that. Most 7 year olds are intent on showing how much "more mature" they are compared to their younger siblings anyway. If nothing else seems to work, try talking with him about how he seems to feel, mention that you want to help him feel better. Ask him if he can think of something (reasonable--not far away or expensive) that he'd like to do. Ask him if he would consider putting up his x box for a while because it makes him so unhappy when he loses, and it ruins the rest of his day. just some ideas--good luck

Julie - posted on 07/20/2011

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Mommie must work -

Excercise with mom (walking is the best!) will snap him out of the moodiness as well as get him off the x-box.

Morgan - posted on 07/20/2011

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I would ban the xbox completely and introduce family oriented games. As far as hating his sister, I don't think that's healthy at all. I know that siblings fuss and aren't always going to get along but he should show signs of affection towards his family and generally care about them or their feelings.

Emmie - posted on 07/20/2011

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He's being a kind, imo...he likely doesn't really hate his sister but hates that he was an only child for a bit and now he has to share virtually everything with her, to a child this is a huge deal and adjusting can take some time and a lot of patience. As for getting mad when he loses in his video games...well, that's him just being a kid, they haven't learned to control emotions like adults have and well...to be honest, at 36 I play video games when the baby lets me and I hate to lose too, lol. He could seem sad at home because -like somebody else said- he's bored out of his above average mind. Smart kids can be hard to deal with because their brains can be several years ahead of their physical age. Try to find something he is passionate about and focus on it with him during some one on one time or try introducing him to things similar to what he likes but may not have been exposed to. He may be bored at school too, especially if he is above average and he does the same activities as the kids that aren't above average. Good luck =)

Irene - posted on 07/20/2011

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My son was moody and unhappy at that age. We found a really good child psychologist. It helped him a great deal.

Lika - posted on 07/19/2011

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Just because he is popular at school doesn't mean he has real friends. Or maybe he does, and feels unpopular at home and with family because it's all about his little sister. Try doing some one on one activities with him, and as a grandparent, offer to play on his xbox - he will naturally win, even if you try because adults aren't as good at these games. Set up a special Grandma/grandpa day, where he gets to be the center of attention, and it can be just a couple hours on a Friday evening or Saturday afternoon, and he gets to make a list of what he wants to do. Whether and other tasks provided, you pick the ideas that would best fit the day. Try to have mundane tasks like laundry, house keeping, dishes, etc as much out of the way and don't touch during Grandma time. Do something fun like go to a pond and let him fish, or play at a park and have a pb&j picnic. Preferably w/o his sister, but, if she HAS to be there, just let her know that right now he gets to pick, and set aside time for her, if needed and appropriate. I get the feeling he's put into a spot where he is expected to be more mature and responsible than what he's ready for at his stage, and it's time to let him be himself.

Angela - posted on 07/19/2011

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whew
lots and lots of info and advice.
Shows us whats going on in the world and what is happening to our kids.
My son is 20 now and i went through years struggling to help him through a number of the issues mentioned.
he was diagnosed as adhd when he was 8. Tried meds on and off but eventually went off them. used tutors, sylvan learning center, and then private school to help academically. his moods were another issue. get him off the machines, games boxes exetera. bring him to a cottage and help him notice his mood. it will be better. the intensity of being zoned in on these games really plays with there minds and it takes a long time to regroup and join the regular world around them. you will notice the change even during a power outage. playing card cames, eating by candle light it often helps the mood.
old fashioned interactions help.
Watch out in the teen years for the use of drugs and self medication.
"weed" can seem almost harmless cause most teen experiment with it. But weed is scientifically referred to as cannabis. Cannabis can trigger psychosis and other mental illnesses if the child is susceptible.
Help him now so he is not self medicating later.
Try the food changes, i did not do that.
try modifications in structure.
Good luck all. Don't let things go without pushing for help

Paola - posted on 07/19/2011

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I totally agree with Jodi, bright kids may feel out of place or simply bored because school is so easy for them, and then they lose interest. I think that taking him to see someone is a very good idea.

Roberta - posted on 07/19/2011

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My oldest son Greg was so happy as a baby and until he was 2 1/2 years old. That is when I had Michael. He was very jealous. I was nursing Michael as well and it was a very hot summer. It seemed that nursing Michael was all I did. Greg acted out by once again peeing his pants. He had been trained for quite sometime. After leaving him in wet pants one day, this behaviour stopped. But the jealousy continued and Greg wasn't the same happy child. I don't mean to make you sad, but it wasn't until Michael was around 9 and Greg was 11 that I realized one day they had finally become friends. We too had Ninetendo when Greg became 6 or 7. He too got angry when he didn't win and take it out on Mike. Sometimes he hit him with the controller. Not acceptable behaviour and he was disciplined for it. I ended up allowing only a certain amount of time on Ninetendo and then it went off. They were to go out and play if it was a nice day. I insisted on this for years. Try getting him interested in other things. Is he involved in any other activities like swimming, scouting movement or other places where he can interact with young people his age. I do agree with your one reader that being intelligent may also be an issue. Social skills are often lacking when your child is gifted. My oldest sister was a genius but her social skills were dreadful. She was very controlling and not able to sympathize with others or understand their feelings. Try and get him to verbalize his anger by asking how he is feeling rather than acting out. Listen to what he has to say and don't react to what he says, Try to understand his point of view and give him respect. Respect is something we need to teach our kids. That should be taught with his relationship with his sister as well, but she needs to learn this too. Can you make her love her? NO. I wouldn't be surprised if jealousy isn't playing a part here too. Can you take them swimming together or get them to do the odd thing together they both enjoy to try and change this problem? Not often but occassionally where mom and dad are there to watch their interactions. But I really feel that getting him interested in other activities outside the house will help. My sons were in swimming and scouting. I also think taking him to a child psychiatrist or get him some kind of counselling will help and I am sure that advice would be given to you on how to best handle his behaviour. My oldest son Greg is now 28. He still likes to win whether at card games, or computer games. He just has a competive spirit, especially with his brothers. It is called sibling rivalry and I am sure readers here will understand that one. That you can not change but treating others with respect is something you can work on. Take care Denise and all the best. I am a grandma now but enjoy assisting others with their questions on child rearing.

Aisha - posted on 07/19/2011

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Waoooo!!!! do not jump to conclusions i have a five year old who is evaluated 3 years above his age ...he has issue socializing with kids his age ...coz ofcoarse TO HIM they dont seem to understand or talk at his level he still gets along with them makes friend and is liked by other kids...kids get frustrated when they cannot get there point across but they still want to fit in....only time to show his feelings really is home...he needs extra love and care..he is gifted he doesn't have any syndroms or autism...and these things get very obvious if he is seven they don't turn on and off at times...............getting the help on the other hand is avery good idea to get his frustration out and get better behaviour out of him...parents need to pay more attention to him and make him feel special the way he thinks special in his mind...i tell you my son thinks liking some one is bigger than loving so he always asks us if we love him or do we like him too ...these kids are smart....take them for there worth...no one needs to live with a stapel of any kind of psc..issues......GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Marlo - posted on 07/19/2011

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A couple of things that come to mind is first is there anything about his home environment when would make him unhappy in terms of Family Dynamics- having both parents present and him getting what he needs in terms of acceptance there. and number 2 nutrition. Now a days a lot of food marketed to children is high in sugar and I know that my mood are affected by what I eat. just some thoughts.

Brenda - posted on 07/19/2011

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Take him out for some one on one time a few times and see how he acts. Also is there something going on at home that might be affecting him? Does he live w/you or his parents? I would try talking to him about whatever is making him sad. I don't know what the home situation is but maybe something is going on that he's having a hard time adjusting to or is making him upset? Good luck

Cindy - posted on 07/18/2011

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Take away his X-box and get him involved in other things. He will be sesistant at first but you may see a difference over time. Try and spend some quality time with him away from his sister. It might just be some jealousy! Good luck!

Monieca - posted on 07/18/2011

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My soon to be 9 yr old does the same thing he has friends at school and since i am a single mom it is hard for me to let him be in extra activities ... and he gets moody with me .. bc he is not his friends ... see ifr you can get with the other kids families and see if you can do some play dates at the house ... that way you can see it is home or is it school ...

Regan - posted on 07/18/2011

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Oh, and my son rarely plays games. He's an outside kid. He just suffers sad times, and has since he was 3 or 4!

Regan - posted on 07/18/2011

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My 8 year old sounds very similar. He's had blue periods on and off for years, and we have just finally started him in therapy. We had to try a few therapists before he connected with one, but we're seeing progress now. I'm hopeful...

Rakki - posted on 07/18/2011

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Firstly does he get as much attention as his sister? My son has had a few moments like these. His sister isn't as fun as his schol mates especially with the age difference. I decided to throw away the x box and find a few activities that require two people to play that he can do with his sister, Connect Four, Jenga etc. Also they do craft things together to give to family and friends like She paints (randomly) and he does the Mr squiggle thing with a maker to turn it into something once the paint is dry.

Karen - posted on 07/18/2011

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Nix the video games! Unless there is a real person with him playing. Alternatively, limit to 30 minute playing times with suspensions for being a bad loser. Some one on one adult time with someone who really listens to what is going on it his little heart is needed bigtime. He may be jealous of his little sister, need more outdoor playtime, need some music or sports in his life as a positive outlet, or a pet. Something to bring him out of himself and relating to the people around him. If he is getting alot of attention for his moodiness, he may be using it as a way to get attention. And then you may have to start ignoring it and encouraging the positive.(Like, here is the moody Eeyore chair, go be moody over there and get up when you can get over it--take as long as you need and I will be waiting with_____(some fun activity) ___ when you are done.) He needs a place to unwind after the school grind and then some outdoor time and a good healthy snack after school to even him out emotionally. Take a bike ride to a nearby park together, go look for interesting bugs or plants together, build a tree house or fort, cook part of tonight's dinner together....constructive time increasing leads to less desirable behavior decreasing. Good Luck loving your grandson through this--he sounds like a fun kid!

Kristen - posted on 07/18/2011

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I will tell you what my childrens pediatrition told me about kids playing video games. He told me that they should play maybe 1 hour every other day and absolutly no violent games. He said that it causes aggression and anger issues, also effects a childs ability to focus and consentrate for more extended periods of time. Also kids need to get at least 1 hour of physical activity a day. This helps the brain release natural "feel good" hormones and the child is getting physical, burning off steam and learns a positive way to work out his aggression. I've noticed this works especially well with my boys who tend to be more aggressive then their sisters. Instead of putting my boys in expensive classes I take them to our park to ride their bikes around the outdoor track. They love it because they keep track of the miles they ride. My husband also started doing a morning routine with them - 30 situps, 10 pushups and run around the block a few times- they come back so happy and proud of their accomplishments. I've noticed they fight less with eachother and their sisters. I think the important thing to remember is to excersize with them and make it fun. Smile and laugh when its a tough workout and praise them for their accomplishments.

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Take away the Xbox...it sounds like he needs different stimulation. Have designated time for just him, 5 year olds do take more attention and that might be where the resentment is coming from. Talk to him, find out what he likes to do and have one or both parents or even you have a special day once or twice a month with him.

Lucy - posted on 07/18/2011

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My granddaughter went through a similar phase with computer games. She was playing games way past her skill level and would get frustrated and cry when she either couldn't figure something out or when she would lose. We adopted a policy of taking the game playing privileges away until she could come to terms with the fact that sometimes you lose and it really isn't any big deal. Practice and experience will make you better and the only way to get practice is to suck it up when you lose and start over. Crummy moods aren't permitted around here. If you want to sulk and pout, you are restricted to your room. Note: computers and TVs aren't allowed in children's rooms either. That is a privilege that must be earned over time. Physical activity is also helpful to lift moods, as is time spent out in the sunshine. We don't have a younger sibling now but I raised two well adjusted adults who often squabbled when they were young. The eldest is a girl and the boy is two and a half years younger than her. Very like the age difference you have. He may think he hates his sister but perhaps it would be well to focus on what his role with respect to her development might become. He should be a helper, a role model, a protector and this can only be instilled while he is still relatively young. Being an older child is something to be proud of. Hope you can help shake him out of this funk. I'd put a #1 priority on it before it develops into a habit.

User - posted on 07/18/2011

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It's time to learn a lesson for a grandson that is always so sad when all he want's is contol....read on......................


Time to TAKE the X box away and show him other things he can do, cause that thing is showing him nothing but violence.....Sounds like he's too popular, it's time to bring him down a notch or two..all things in school can reflect what his mood can be like at home....friends, work, playhours and most of all teachers.. is there something he miss's most? All kids want to BE popular but they all take it the wrong way and expect others to listen and do what they say but when they go home, the rules run with the parents/grandparent and all that changes with there mood they get testy and they get annoyed and run to the first thing they love to CONTROL, kids get mad if they can't get their way and then take it out on someone smaller, like his sister and that turns into being a bully....it will continue the same pattern if you don't take a stand and take away his x-box give him rules with concincences YOU can LIVE with. At the age of 5 and 7 and i raised 5......my girls have chores, friends with certain rules, if they want to play a game i drive them, i limit the computer time or game system and we play entertaining games like Wii GAMES or take them to the park....i give them homework for the next grade, outings like swimming, run in the soccerfield , or most of all movie night with family...show him to earn his way for money a small (2.00) allowance and give him a bank account for him to save and not spent for his future cause times are tough, My girls have 2 accounts each and they have allot saved.... cause if you don't get him to stop, he will continue till he is old enough to leave and then he'll think he can do this to everyone..best way is to take the x-box (EVERYTHING) when he's not in the house and give him 2 choices and only 2 choices and if he throws a temper of anykind...don't sit there and take it...show him what grandparents can do and punish him and let him sulk his room and if he destroys be calm..and if his sister tease's,,(even thou she's 5).. do the same thing and if she ask why..tell her teasing comes with a consicnese and if you continue, pushisment stands with her too.....clean it out, leave the bed with sheet, blankets, pillow, dresser and give him no choice of cloths everyday till he learns to earn it back by doing chores and show THEM the love but when you need to show your mean side do it and don't hold back ( smile on the inside to remind yourself you have love for THEM ALWAYS) and firmly tell him you are speaking and if he wants to be heared "one must listen to the other to answer a question"....give him 1hr of sit down talking time and even if he you have to talk to him in his bedroom and ,,,hmm for 1hr just stick to it, cause every child will eventualy break and cry till their true feelings comes out..if you don't stick to your rules he will become the future problem and his sister will be right behind him cause she is learning "Aww big brother can do it and i'll just do it by be being SNEAKER" and next thing you know she has a boyfriend, pregnate and PARTY TIME & all hell will break loose and everything will bring you down when you can't stick to your own rules,,,if they say " she did it" and " no he did it...Ha ha..punish them both, not confessing the truth can a cause a barrier between parent and child,and punish them both for the same lie and if they ask why??...say i didn't hear the truth and you two are equaly at fault and then give them a punishment you can live with and if they try telling the truth, let them and say IT..well say thank you but your still grounded and if they say " Why are we still grounded when you told you the truth"? then simply say " You should of fessed up earlier, not later when i have to speak to you twice "!...your grandson, he's not sad, it's all about control at shool and sad when he gets home, and to break that, you have to break it for him and stick to your guns and the first few times will be tough but rotate and love is hard but it has to be tough love to get thru to them, remember he's almost a Jr-teen ager...you don't do it then send him to military camp or cadet camp to get him back on track or you'll loose him till he learns the lesson the HARD way....good luck! Throw the X BOX out...shouldn't off been invented in the first place!! but all i can give is advise..the rest is up too you...But remember one thing...always always check on them when you have the little feeling when they say something and if you don't feel comfy, just say no cause we have other plans together and if they ask what...just say it's a surprise and they will find out later and have fun..

Layla - posted on 07/18/2011

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I think Suzie Kane has had the best idea, check out any deffinciencies for sure! I used to be involved with a company that had many seminas on the subject of nutrition and a chap called Patrick Holford who runs a centre called BIO BRAIN CENTRE in London, he taught me that roughly 90% + of any mental disorder can be treated with the right nutrition. He has seen people with intense disorders such as schizoprenia and high spectrum autism and also altzeimers treated with nutrition and the results have been amazing. In his experience only 99% of alzeimer sufferers have a hereditary condition the rest can be treated with the right nutrients. So the hair analysis is a good point to start with and you can avoid the prescription drugs that will only treat symptoms not cause. Here is link to the Biobrain centre: ahttp://www.foodforthebrain.org/content.a...
Hope this helps :-)

Christian - posted on 07/18/2011

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My son tells me that xbox games bring out aggression in kids. I have watched my grandchildren and it does! And it causes my grandson to treat his brother poorly also. Maybe less xbox and more creative things.

Jane - posted on 07/18/2011

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I still say get rid of the xBox and get him involved in activities with other kids. Then if he is still moody and sad at home you might consider counseling to see what the underlying cause is.

Sarah - posted on 07/17/2011

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Hi Denise, if youe grandson is happy at school than home, then its an indicator that theres something wrong happening at home. maybe he doesn't get the affection and love from the people around him at home.try to be close to him, love and affection should be put first. i believe with this he'll be able to also love his sister.more so try to spare some time and ask him wat bothers him,what he wants in so doing u'll get a clue on how to go around him.

sarah.

Jacqualine - posted on 07/17/2011

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my best friends little girl has aspbergers. she was diagnosed at 7 or 8 i think. since then she has been so much happier because her parents have more of an understanding of how she thinks. she was a very!!! early talker and picks up most concepts so brilliantly. but she does have trouble socially. you may even suggest to the parents that this child if he is a very smart child would benefit from stricter rules and disipline. you may find that the parents are "letting things slide" because of his moods ect but with all children that i have come across that are a little smarter (including my 6yr old and myself as a child) they are wanting to not feel like they are in control of everything. remembering that with more freedom comes at least the implied aspect of haveing to be more responsible. my best friends daughter suffered major depression as a very young girl and the biggest thing that made her happier was a very clear set of rules and consequences.



also. when i was a child i always had my nose stuck in a book. it was my escape. i loved exercise but reading was the only thing that shut my brain off. my advice is please dont take away this childs only escape before you fix the problem. i dont know what i would have done if someone had have taken away my books (and yes it is the same!!!) i was not reading in a healthy way i would go through massive mood swings for days on end. if i was up to a sad part of the book i would be depressed, if i finished a book i would go numb for days. perhaps the inlet his parents need to spend time with him is to get interested in his xbox games. then move on to more "socially acceptable" family activities.



and it may not be that he is jealous of his sister getting more attention. perhaps he's jealous of her being normal because it doesnt matter how much you try to pretend a gifted child is normal. they know theyre not!! i believe it would help their relationship if you make him responsible for something to do with her ie teaching her something.

Amanda - posted on 07/17/2011

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Try therapy, sounds like he has some issues that might need real help. He might have something serious bothering him and it's usually easier to open up to a stranger.

Lubna - posted on 07/17/2011

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Kids r little people. Moody, sad, happy, irrational....They experience many of the sameemotions as we do. Just because they r less stressesd over issues like "Bills", doesn't mean they rn't just as stressed over "Kid" issues that seem trivial 2 us. When my daughter went thru her downs, I blamed it on coming from a divorce and cultural clash between her 2 families. That was some of it, there was more. School, kids.....It's not the same.....Beware, our kids r dealing with issues these days that we didn't understand till we were teens. TIMES HAVE CHANGED AND NOT 4 THE BETTER IN MY HUMBLE OPINION. I got my daughter therapy, within a month I couldn't get rid of the pesky therapist who had noooooo bearing on my child's situation!!!! My child simply outgrew her own mood!!!! B very patient and way 2 compassionate (even when u or others say "He/She just wants attention". I mean what's wrong with giving attention 2 a kid who wants it?). Don't panic (easier said than done, a tear from my daughter's eyes is a thorn in my soul) IT WILL PASS.....IT WILL.................Growing pains suck!!!!!!!! Remember how tough our's were? Well today our kids' r a million times worse, but they will get thru it......U can't make it go away, but u can can hold his hand and walk with him thru it.

Caroline - posted on 07/17/2011

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I am not sure a 7year old can actually hate another person especially a sibling. Did he find it hard when she was born? Perhaps it is an underlying jealousy as he seems to cope with socialising at school. I would do team building type activities with them together so he can see how they can work well together. Simple games like three leg race with then as one team and two adults on the other or doing the wheelbarrow game where one takes the others legs and they walk on their hands even getting a piece of old rope, him and his sister on one end, two adults on the other end and see what team can pull the other over!! tug of war I think it's called! Good Luck!

Rhonda - posted on 07/17/2011

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the x box is overstimulating him. limit it. and let him earn the time. document his diet and his mood before and after. give him opportunities to practice his frustration while playing family games. do not reinforce what is not working.
do not allow him to be the bully of the family

Rhonda - posted on 07/17/2011

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I have some great ideas on how to help to have the need reduced to being a 'good bully; first understand that the only requirement to being a good bully is to have a hurt in yur life that is not been understood. we can move him out of his anger and into his sadness. There is a great book called 'Sibling Rivalry". please let me know if this message reaches you so I can be more helpful. I have raised a son and have been a parenting expert for 20 years. my name is Rhonda 818 389 9958 heartstorms@gmail.com

Apps+8278986302 - posted on 07/17/2011

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take him off all refined sugars and gluten,....you will find he will become much happier.. READ the book SUGAR BLUES..sugar is a poison

Nicole - posted on 07/17/2011

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I think it's normal for him to be frustrated when he does poorly at his game etc. I agree that the best thing is just to keep him busy afterward. It sounds to me like at school he's challenged and surrounded by people and activities, and at home he's bored, tired, and doesn't enjoy the company of his sister, so he lashes out. In addition to sports/physical activities, you might also want to have him try art projects, building blocks or puzzles. Somewhere where his sister won't disturb him. Half the kids I know went through some sort of obsessive stage, and I think in some cases it's just about trying to get control over your environment. It's hard to feel in control of anything with a younger sibling tearing around (I know, I have three of them!) Hopefully if he has a little space he'll eventually get to the point where he wants to spend more time with the family, and meanwhile, his sister will be growing up and in a few years will be at an age where she can be a better companion.

Kristi - posted on 07/16/2011

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Take away his video games....that can be an addiction and leads to more problems than anything he may get out of it. He should be learning how to treat other people and not playing mindless entertainment. I have found from personal experience that boys that age are not mature enough to play too many video games. My DSS used to play a lot of games, but he would start crying and was moody when he didn't win, also...so i cut down his video game time to 30 mins a day and he was able to handle it a lot better at age 7....then when he got a bit older - around 11, I let him play 45 mins...and 1 hour on the weekend days....he was a lot better then. They need to be more creative and able to play with others....and less staring at a tv screen!

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He needs to get out more then. Have his friends come over or let him go over there. Get him off of his xbox!!!! Take it away if you have to. Also maybe he should get checked out by a doctor just in case.

Kendra - posted on 07/16/2011

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This may seem strange. But what is his diet like? Processed foods? Sugars? I know that I start getting depressed and moody when I eat a lot of unhealthy foods. I noticed a correlation and now I have to be careful. It may not be the case for your grandson but I figured it was worth at least mentioning.

Katie - posted on 07/16/2011

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A 7 year old should probably not be spending too much time on the XBOX but it is such a convenient babysitter that parents have a tendency to look the other way. Lack of excercise is the leading cause of depression and a 7 year old boy need a helluva lot of excercise! Limit the XBOX and get that kid away from the electronics for as many hours possible a day. He will thank youin the long run!

Kyleigh - posted on 07/16/2011

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i d limit games for a 7yr old. there is more that a 7 yr old likes than just video games. Also take him to checked out at his MD and hopefully he ll get counseling or can be referred to get the proper treatment he needs

Becca - posted on 07/16/2011

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Pyschiatrists are MD's who can and do prescribe meds and barely listen. However, psychologists or councelors aer there to provide social skills/tools for dealing with the tough stuff life throws at all of us. It is important not to let the child think there is something wrong with him/her - but that you are going to learn how to get through life easier with life skills that are applicable for child and caregiver. Most councelors nowadays are Social workers anyhow who only care about the quality of life and are humanitarians not drug reps!

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