My 8 year old is Autisic and has AdHd the school refuses to let him go on field trips

Peggy - posted on 09/30/2009 ( 145 moms have responded )

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He has a behavor problem and now they won't let him eat lunch in the cafateria they give him a penut butter jelly sandwich every day he does not want to eat that. I tried to switch schools they won't let me. They are unfair to him because of his problems what can I do? I wnt him to learn I feel they are not doing there job I mean now he can't even have a lunch. I want to pull him out of school but I can't teach I want him to learn. Any advise no matter what I do the school refuses to listen.

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Sharon - posted on 09/30/2009

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Get an education yourself.



If you knew how to read a legal document you'd know what they're doing is illegal - if you're american.



NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Google it, learn it and apply it to your child. Call the schools' superintendent with a prewritten speech and points about why what they are doing is illegal & possibly unconstitutional.



How autistic is he? Is the ADHD under control?



It is illegal to feed prisoners in a maximum facility PB&Js every day. It is NOT a balanced meal - It is ILLEGAL to feed him that daily.



For gods sake speak up for your child. Learn learn learn. He isn't the only one who needs an education - you'd better figure out your school system fast or your kid is screwed.

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2011

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You need to take your son to a child specialist and get him legally diagnosed. When this happens they will legally be forced to give special assistance of an IEP, including any accommodations that you and the specialist may find necessary. Getting a parent advocate through the Area Education Agency will be important for both you and your son.

Susana - posted on 10/19/2009

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Which school district is it? There are FREE advocates that will fight for your rights and your son's. You, as a parent have more rights than the District. Do not give up. If your son's IEP doesn't clearly state that he is to be excluded from certain school activities, then they have NOTHING legal to base their position. You are the best lawyer for your child. I am a school administrator in charge of special education.

Pam - posted on 10/10/2009

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Often times when children are diagnosed Autistic, ADD, or ADHD, there is some type of imbalance. I am not saying he needs medications. One thng I've seen happen from experience in the holistic clinic I work for, there can be a nutritional definciency, or missing enzymes in the child's diet. this causes them to have malabsorption and anyone who isn't getting the right minerals, vitamins, etc. will have some type of behavioral issues. find a holistic doctor in your area that uses holisitic labs to find the definciencies and get your son on the right diet, or if he has the right diet, handle why he isn't using the nutrients that are essentila for a growing boy.

Kimberly - posted on 10/09/2009

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talk to the director of the special education program at the dept of education building where you live...look up any kind of support group in your area for parents with autisic children... my son is 8 and is autistic... but he has calmed way down since being in the autisitc program here in kansas.. and when we was in alaska also..we have been really lucky with this school system here and in alaska... the school and the teachers and principle help with all the IEP meetings... also so does the administator of the special education dept... she comes to every meeting with my son...is he on an IEP.. in school or in the intensive resource class at school? Hope it all goes well for you...I had to fight with the doctors in alaska to get them to listen to me about my son..take care ...

kim j...

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Girija - posted on 10/23/2009

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Hi peggy just read ur post and was really moved.I can understand what u r going thru as i have a nephew with the same prob. my sister is trying homeschooling. give it a shot.all the best and my love to ur son.

Amber Lynne - posted on 10/20/2009

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This is illegal...go through the steps...document everything, and don't let them do this to your child. Autistic children deserve to learn just like anyone else. Most of them are smarter than you've ever dreamed, they just have a harder time tapping it like the rest of us.

Fight this-b/c legally-they can't win it.

Carole - posted on 10/20/2009

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Go to the school board meeting and tell them your concerns. If he doesn't want a peanut butter sandwich talk to the cafeteria. Sounds like he is on the free meal program. Good. The reason that the school will not let him be taken out and put in another school is because his school gets paid extra money for title 1 or special education kids. They (the school) may have to hire a special aide for him. Push your weight around DO NOT LET THE SCHOOL DO THIS TO YOU AND YOUR CHILD!

Rebecca - posted on 10/19/2009

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Peggy,

It is by law that they have to have programs for your school for kids you have learning dissabilities and special cases like Austism and ADHD. I don't know where you live. The state of Texas is really enforcing help. Sometimes you can have grants that help you get your child the help he needs. I know it is very frustrating!!! My daughter is still in the diagnoistics to see what really is going on with her. Sometimes they have aids that come into a class and work with your child one on one. I am still trying to get help with my daughter's school. The unfortunate part is people are still learning about different needs for schools. I have a friend I think would be good to talk to. If you want more info please contact me. Rebecca

April - posted on 10/19/2009

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Dear Frustrated mom,

I understand your frustration. Moms have a hard enough job without having a special needs child. Having a special needs child takes an overwhelming amount of patients. I commend you. You do have legal rights. I do not know the history of the situation but I do know that your child needs an aide. If he doesn't have one then you make sure the school provides an aide. Now, that said, Not all aides are well trained in how to deal with special needs children nor do they all have patients. Your child comes first on your prioity list so if you work outside the home you need to take some time off to go to school with your son until they find someone. It shouldn't take too long. Understand that teachers are under a lot of pressure to meet every childs need. It can be impossible at times. When you have even one child that needs more attention, that child tends to dominate the classroom quickly. So imagine if there are several children with special needs and then the mainstream needs of learning/teaching that the rest of the children need. The teacher is having to teach to several different need areas as well as different learning styles and maintaining his/her sanity and patients. It takes it toll and the school districts expects the teachers to hold up to all the pressure from everyone. I am not a teacher but I have been an aide to autistic children and have a nephew who is autistic. I have seen both sides. Teachers now days are under more stress and are expected to juggle more then ever and some are leaving the profession with disabilities such as Post stress disorder. The NEA and the school districts need to do a better job equipping teachers and providing resources to parents. You need to educate yourself so you can be the main influence in your childs development and training. Instill the behaviors he needs to have at home and train the aides in how to help your son. You have more understanding of what your son needs, his likes and dislikes then anyone else. Find out if your school is using ABA Applied Behavior Anaylsis. Go online and read about it. Become more educated if you haven't already on how to work with your child. There is hope and he can learn. Hang in there. You are a great mom and you can do this. As far as lunch goes. You can't force feed anyone. The school can't force feed your child but they probably feel that instead of letting him go hungry they will feed him what he likes. PB&j isn't going to kill him but it will provide some nurishment to get him through the day. If you know his likes and dislikes, you need to pack a lunch with those things and make sure you are providing healthy snacks as well. If your child refuses to eat what you pack, let the school no that you do not want them feeding him anything else and when he gets home he will be hungry and you feed him healthy things. If he does not want to eat the healthy thing you give him then you wait till later and you give it to him again. If he choses not to eat it then you try again later. He will play a game with you waiting for you to give into what he wants and you cannot do that. Perservere. Eventually he will understand that he needs to try different things and eat what is given him. He will get hungry enough. Don't eat the things that are unhealthy in front of him or you will defeat the purpose. Show him by example. If he eats what is given him make sure you reward him with lots of praise. You can motivate him to eat by showing him a special toy or priviledge. You show him by putting the food and toy in front of him and show him the eating motion. (Don't let him play with the toy keep it away from arms length) and say, "your turn", and push it in front of him. Show him the toy or priviledge that he will be rewarded with. It may takes several times but he will get it. This is the ABA way to motivate the positive behavior your looking for. Try it! God Bless

Stacy - posted on 10/19/2009

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Take up with the school board. They are not supose to descraimenate. A child is a child. It is their job and duty to teach him. Til you get threw to the school, I would try to make it a point to go there at lunch everyday, take your child to the lunch room sit him down, and let them know you will not tolerate them treating your child indifferent. Fight for him and his rights. Teach him to fight for his own rights! It is never to early to teach your child to speak they're opinions. If he doesn't have a strong voice, be his voice. Take it to the papers, make what the school is doing known threw your whole town. Put your foot down, take a stand. Be strong for your son, be proud of him, let him know is perfect to you and the others around him. Find a support system where you are. Good Luck! Hope all goes well!

Shimyra - posted on 10/19/2009

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Hi Mom,



Sorry to hear this! Honestly, if your son does not have money to pay for lunch at school and you have not applied for free or reduced lunch, they are legally able to only give peanut butter jelly and mild daily. You may want to check to see if he has run out of money on his account, or how to apply for free and reduced lunch ASAP! If these two things has been taken care of, you should then record this information and keep records of this activity. In response to not allowing him to go on field trips and educating him properly, is he fully included into the classrooms, or within special education classes? If he is included, he should have a special education teacher in each class with him, if he has a IEP and/or 504 plan. You should really push to obtain him an IEP if he doesn't already have one. If he is not fully included, or his adhd is not managed properly, they can refuse to allow him to participate in field trips outside of the school for both his safety and the safety of others. I would suggest documenting all of these issues, then filing a complaint with the school board of that district, then in the state in which you live. If all else fails, remember that the media can actually be a really good alli when schools or government is not doing what is legally responsible for doing. However, to file a lawsuit, you will need to have complete documentation of all the attempts and complaints you have filed, so begin there and make sure any written notifications and e-mails are copied and kept for future references.



Good luck and please let us all know how it goes and what school, county, and state your son goes too.

Robin - posted on 10/14/2009

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I beg to differ when my son was diagnosed with Austism. They told me he couldn't have both he either has Autism or ADHD. I would get a second opinion. They told me that the symptons of both are very similar but can't be both. The school has no right to do that you need to fight for your child and go above their heads and speak to Distric Cordinator of the school. That is what I had to do things did get better and when I pulled my 3 oldest out which one of them has Autism also to home school they worked harder to please my little one who has Autism and meet his accomidations much better. Please don't give up keep fighting till the help your son

Susy (Mom) - posted on 10/13/2009

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You need to run to the School District office. They can't do this to your child. This is descrimination and that is iligal. If they don't know how to handle him, let them figure this out. Don't forget every day that passes is a wated day for his education. You are his mother and the only person that is able to stand for him. Have you thought, if you don't act on this, who would do that for him???? Get on top of things in a hurry....

Tracy - posted on 10/13/2009

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Does your school have a person over the exception children department, if not then I would make appointment with superindent and explain what is happening....North Carolina use to have funds that would allow a autisic child to have a person with them at all time, call one on one care.....find out if your state has that and if your insurance or the school system will cover it. Other wise, you need to contact the ACLU or an attorney that specializes in the rights of disable people.

[deleted account]

Quoting Sharon:

Get an education yourself.

If you knew how to read a legal document you'd know what they're doing is illegal - if you're american.

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Google it, learn it and apply it to your child. Call the schools' superintendent with a prewritten speech and points about why what they are doing is illegal & possibly unconstitutional.

How autistic is he? Is the ADHD under control?

It is illegal to feed prisoners in a maximum facility PB&Js every day. It is NOT a balanced meal - It is ILLEGAL to feed him that daily.

For gods sake speak up for your child. Learn learn learn. He isn't the only one who needs an education - you'd better figure out your school system fast or your kid is screwed.



I think that was way out of line what you just say to the mother asking for advice. Some people don't know about the whole child left behind policy. I had to help one of my friend to fight for her child to move on to 8th grade because the teacher fail her child and my child because they have ADHD. Maybe you need to think before you say things like this to a someone like her. Do you have a child like she does? If you do then i'm sure you would want some advivce too. This board is for mothers asking for help not mothers being rude and putting other people down all the time.

Claire - posted on 10/13/2009

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they are discriminating against him, i have similar probs with the nursery i wanted to send my little one to. The school is not allowed to discriminate him they have got to treat him like any other child. Go to ur local education dept and see what they have to say.

Brenda - posted on 10/12/2009

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you can contact the Mental Health Association where you will get information on special education rights. they offer school advocacy which will be good when in situation like this one. Wraparound services are also available for school and home purposes. I don't know where you live so I can provide you with a list of resources.

Ashley - posted on 10/12/2009

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FIRST, I would think that you should realize IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY "WANT" TO LISTEN, MAKE THEM. YOU ARE HIS MOTHER. I know that it is difficult to take care of "difficult" children. BUT that's it. They are still children. I would go up to the school and speak to the principal. Hell walk right in his office if you have to. Sit down and look him in the eye and tell him "I understand the difficulties of your job. I know there are several children, including my own child-that make your day harder, take more of your time and resources than some of the other kids. BUT, you chose this job when you did that, it was your job to make sure my child, and every OTHER child get the BEST education within your power. So, because you have chosen this path, you cannot just "take it back" whenever it gets hard or confusing. In that, I (you as his mother) deal with him everyday, I kNOW it gets hard, but you will STOP leaving my son out of fieldtrips with the other children because that is part of HIS education. If you continue to do so, I will file a lawsuit with my lawyer for discrimination. WHICH, by the way, is one of the most important rights of the AMERICAN constitution."

Then I would call a few lawyers and talk to them about this situation. Maybe one of htem will make a call for you? who knows. I definently would not let them continue to treat my child that way, regardless of his behavior. he can NOT be left out of lunch that way either. You CAN change schools. Go to the district main office and speak with the superintendent. IF that does not work, go to the mayor's office. IF that does not work. HIRE A LAWYER. Some of them do pro-bono work and will help fro free. There are reasons ppl sue in this country, this is a great one.

Tracy - posted on 10/12/2009

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Will they let parents go on field trips? Does your state have a one on one system? those would be 2 things that I would ask....then i would go as far as to tell them that they are not alowing your son the rights as the other students. He has every right to go on field trips....Take it to the school board of education if you have too.

Samantha - posted on 10/12/2009

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It sounds like you need totalk to someone in special education department in your school district. If your child has an IEP or a 504 the school is receiving federal money for him. By not treating your son correctly they are violating the rules. You need to do some checking into your district and don't accept the word no, you are your child's best advocate. Good Luck!

Alanna - posted on 10/11/2009

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I am an Autism Teacher and I have to fight my superiors to get my students these basic rights,but I have to have my parents behind me. You have to be ready to fight for it-because YOU WILL WIN- it is in his rights to eat lunch where everyone else does. It is your son's caseworker's or teacher's job to make sure he gets support ( his teacher or a parapro) during lunch to help him deal with whatever is making his behavior unacceptable, which is probably the noise. What's more, is that someone is having to stay with him during lunch, why can't they stay with him during lunch IN the cafeteria? Have the assistive technology department of the school get him some noise cancelling headphones if the noise is bothering him. I had the same problem with a student of mine and I kept pushing the issue because the principals know they are in the wrong legally. You have to be there to make sure his caseworker is doing his/her job and doing what's right for him, because secluding him is not in his least restrictive environment(LRE). Say that sentence exactly to his caseworker and she will get uncomfortable, because you know some special ed. lingo. Pick yourself up a book at Barnes and Noble about IEP's because you are going to have to fight for him for the rest of his school career.

Jennifer - posted on 10/11/2009

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AS an educator of special education children I have sen this happen allt o frequently. I fight for my students but often find that it is not my decision as to what happen. I would recommend contacting your child's school and requesting a meeting to get this more out in the open. Require them to document their reasons for not complying with his IEP. I would also find an advocate for yourself. FRom what you are describing they are violating his FAPE and his IEP. Get help now.

Amanda - posted on 10/11/2009

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take it further go above schools head they cant single him out cause of his disabality my daughter has adhd and it's under control now but i had to fight hard to get where we are now as in she 16 and at college and doing well fight for what you believe in and your son should have an indivual education plan at school dont back down

Angela - posted on 10/11/2009

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Well you need to find an advacate in your area that can help you. Um this seems to go against alot of violation for this country. Go to your local mental health clinic and ask them about resources for your state. This is not the way you want your son to percieve school.

Sallie - posted on 10/10/2009

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I'm also an Aussie mum and am appalled that you are not offered the same sort of assistance that we would be offered here. My son is ADHD, but it is under control by simple elimination diet and naturopathic supplements - however he is still afforded some aide time during school. Does the school your child attends not understand that diet alone can massively influence our behaviour, along with what's in our drinking water?! Have you tried changing his diet to assist his behaviour? Gluten free, dairy free, only filtered water, and give supplements of Magnesium and Zinc. The junk he is being fed at school will only be compounding his behaviour, and has to be illegal surely!! Stand up for your son by putting in the hard yards yourself!! Elimination diets are hard, especially if you have other kids too (and I have another 6), but the benefits are enormous!! Good luck!

Debbie - posted on 10/10/2009

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Peggy:



Autism is a very difficult illness. Unless you have an autistic child or around one it is very difficult to deal with. My best advise is, if you have him in a public school, by law they must not treat him/her any different than the rest of the children. You can go to your state and pledge a complaint against the school to the board of Education. List all of the people and their names of who you have dealt with. Good luck

[deleted account]

You have a long hard slog ahead of you but you first go to Parent Parnership who will guide you through it, that is only the start but you don't fight for him nobody else will .

[deleted account]

I have tried to read through all the posts to see what has been said and just couldn't catch up. But I am going to give my 2 cents also, in hopes that it might give you a different option. I do agree with everyone as they have stated that your child has rights and the school is failing to help your child. This is so typical of schools, as I feel they are not really about the children and their well being but......... I could go on and on here, and I better just stop and get to my point. I had a situation in the school system with my son also, and went higher and higher on the chain of command without any progress. They cover each other very well. I kept thinking, do I want my child in this system that will not protect the child? In the meantime I started to look at homeschool as an option. In Illinois they have very simple homeschool laws which has made it easy for us. You will have to check the laws of your state. I am no teacher, not a genius, we are not rich, I am even a single mom, I don't have the patience of a saint (just ask my kids), but I do love my children and I will do what ever it takes to help the learn and grow in a safe and loving environment. What better a place than with the person who loves them most. Have you ever thought that behavior issues stem from the pressure that comes from being in a negative environment?



I do have some recomendations, take what you want, trash the rest.

One would be to look up Beyond Consequences, this has helped me alot with my children, and there is a yahoo group called Daily Parenting Reflections that supports this.

Another would be to find out about homeschooling in your area, your childs learning style and different homeschool styles. I have chosen to unschool my 2 boys, 9 and 12, and have done so for 2 years. I would not go back.



Learning and schooling are two different things. We have been brought up to think that you have to be taught in order to learn. How did we learn to walk, to talk, to sing, to run, to play? Anything we learned before we were in school? The pressure to learn and compete with other children their age can cause a negative, incompetant feeling and therefore hinder ones ability to learn. We all have different abilities and interests. I also challenge you to think about how much information from school you actually remember.





A little about unschooling. John Holt is a big name in unschooling. He has written the books, How Children Learn, How Children Fail, Teach Your Own, Instead of Education, and there are more which I have not read yet. The basics of unschooling are to let children choose what they want to learn about. Child led learning. Children are curious and love to be like others, they want to know how things work and why they don't. When they are interested in things, they remember them because they are important to them. My children are into Yu-Gi Oh and wrestling. So how do they learn? My son who is dyslexic and hated to read and write, reads many yu-gi-oh books, reads and studies the cards, knows and retains more info from the cards and the game than anyone I know, and he needs to have alot of planning and organization to play the game. Oh, by the way, they do math in the game too. Wrestling the same somewhat. I am just relaxing in the fact that we are not under any pressure to perform, to meet others expectations, to keep up with the school and we can just be who we are.

We also belong to a group called HOUSE and they have groups in many areas so that might be an option. This is a tuesday meeting group we go to for, outddor play, 4H, chess, and youth group. We have only been a part of this since september. So far, so good, brings a little social interaction. Quite a few of the boys like yu-gi-oh or the kids wouldn't want to go. We go to the ymca, we go ice skating, anything cheap. We spend alot of time at the library, getting movies, books, ect..... You cannot, not learn in my eyes. I have learned so much in the last 2 years. I didn't know much about computers, even how to type well (still working on this), I did not read much, and I have completely dove into this head first and it has changed my life.



I am just rambling on and on here, if you need to contact me, feel free if you are interested in anything I have offered. Anyone. Blessings

Colleen - posted on 10/10/2009

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and yes you CAN switch schools for him ... don't let the schools try to bully you ... if he has an iep they want him there because they get money for him ... any school that has kids with ieps gets a federal grant for each student ... DON'T LET THEM BULLY YOU!! ...

Colleen - posted on 10/10/2009

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get in touch with your local advocate ... they can set you up with a program that will have an aid go with your son to school, stay with him through the day and go on field trips with him, all free to you ... and yes it's illegal for them to do this ... teachers now a days just try to pawn off "the troubled" kids to anyone else ... it's really sad ... i've had 5-6 meetings with my daughters school already this year ... good luck! ... =)

Bonnie - posted on 10/10/2009

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Are you in the U.S.? Has he undergone testing by the school district and been identified as a special needs student? Does he have an IEP? If he doesn't, you need to make this happen. Your son's pediatrician or the doctors who have diagnosed him with ADHD/Autism should be able to help you to get this process going. Like Sabrina said, read your school district's handbook on parent and child's rights. Make sure you know it like the back of your hand. You've gotten a lot of good advice from a lot of ladies on this post. Read it and make sure you have taken all of the basic first steps you need to as a parent. Then if you continue to get no where with your son's school or the school district, get yourself a lawyer because what they are doing is illegal. Once that is established in a court of law, you should be able to place the legal fees back on to the school district because you never should have had to go this far to fight for your child's rights. It's an unfortunate situation but you've got to step up to the plate and make sure you are being proactive. Be prepared to fight for your son's rights your entire life.

Odette - posted on 10/10/2009

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PEGGY,i have a 13 yr old son with autism,is in between mild to moderate & also has adhd & epilepsy,my son has always had the services that the school needs to provide & they treat him like all the other kids,they also educated the kids on autism & not discriminate,they have a great program & a great team,hes even going on the school trip next june for 5 days,im in shediac,new-brunswick,what i read makes me sick & mad as hell,neither your son or you should have to go thru this crap,there breaking the law,go right to the head of your school district & keep fighting,you will win,if you what to talk one on one,its odettecomeau@hotmail.com,hope it heps you a bit but dont give up!odette comeau

Debra - posted on 10/09/2009

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What state are you in. Here in LA. there is such a thing as the least restricted environment for individuals with disabilities. School should provide para to provide one on one with him. Ask about rewriting his IEP ...Call the school...your school board member..principal and demand a meeting.... you gotta fight for your kid!!!!! Don't let him be forced out... even with his behaviors ...they have to deal with him...MOM OF 26 YO AUTISTIC SON

Christine - posted on 10/09/2009

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You need to get your local school board involved in your case and even the doctors your son sees. No school can tell you that you are not allowed to switch your son to another school, especially if your local school doesn't have the means or resourses to help your son. Maybe you might consider becoming a volunteer at the school to help your son out. That way he can do things like eat in the cafateria and go on field trips. Also you can pack lunches that he likes. Either way don't the school and it's staff bully you. Stand up for your sons rights.

Joell - posted on 10/09/2009

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I go along to most of my son's field trips...just because I want to be with him and see him experience everything he can.

Felicia - posted on 10/09/2009

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Yes, first, does your son have a 504 or IEP? If he does it's against IDEA to discriminate. Second, yes the school can make it so he has to be accompanied, by an adult, on field trips, however they cannot ban him field trips unless their has been a meeting to discuss the chaperone arrangement or lack of a chaperone. You should also advocate for one-on-one aid/assistant to help during the school day if your child has an IEP. If all else fails at the school level contact the schools system's special education office.

[deleted account]

You don't say what state you live in. Every state has laws to protect special needs children - and since you pay taxes, your child is entitled to a free and appropriate education. This may mean, however, that he needs to go to a different school set up to meet his needs. I would recommend you visit the Web site of the National Learning Disability Association at http://www.ldanatl.org/. They have all kinds of resources to help parents get their children's needs met by the public school system - even if that means the school system pays for a non-public school - if that is the solution determined by you and the school system. I would strongly recommend that you get an education advocate - I believe the LDA Web site has a resources section that lists advocates and attorneys by state. My son is ADHD with autistic characteristics, and we worked for 3 years with the school system before we realized we weren't getting him the help he needed and deserved. We finally hired an education advocate, and eventually had to sue the school system. In the end, the school system paid for all the attorney fees and had to pay the tuition for the non-public school that was deemed best suited to help him. YOU are your child's best advocate - don't let the school system bully you - find the resources you need in your area to help you get him the help he needs. Good luck!

Kathleen - posted on 10/09/2009

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where is this? I can't believe it. Does the IEP say that he cannot go to a fieldtrip or eat lunch like any other kid? The school has to provide solutions not more problems.

Beth - posted on 10/09/2009

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If your son has a medical diagnosis the school HAS to have an IEP or 504 plan in place for him. By law he has to be in an inclusive class with the least restrictions. In an IEP or 504 an aid can be in place for your son. Schools get funding for this. You need to go to the school and demand a Special Education Meeting where they will set up a plan and goals for your son. My son has PDD-NOS and ADHD he is in regular class for everything except ELA and Math. Those classes he goes into another one with smaller amount of students and more one-on-one attention. The middle of last year I put aside my thought on medicating children and worked with his doctor and placed him on Concerta. We have seen am extreme change in his behavior in school. Many of the behavioral issues went away and he was able to focus. He went from barely passing to an A student. You are his advocate, you need to speak up and demand that they give your child the education he deserve no matter what his behavior. They can't single him out because of his behavior that will only make it worse and make it harder for him to be able to socialize properly. You pay school taxes which helps pay their salaries. If they are unable to accomodate your son in their school they are required to place him in a school that can and provide transportation. When we first moved into the district we are living in they weren't able to accomodate my son right away the school had to provide transportation and tuition to have him be able to stay in the district we were in. Use your superintendent and school board. Call them direct go to a meeting. If your sons receives any SSI I would contact an SSI lawyer and ask for help. If not go to your local legal aid. You can also file a lawsuit against the district. You are the only voice he has and you need to shout.

Joell - posted on 10/09/2009

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Peggy, where do you live? I know things can be hard depending on where you live and whether the school has had kids like your son. Have you thought about packing his lunch then you know he is getting more then a PB&J. I have a son w/ Angelman Syndrome who is 16 and he can get alittle excited in the lunchroom too with all the kids, it just took him time to adjust.

There are things you can do to help him, I'd be glad to help you further if you'd like.

Nei've - posted on 10/09/2009

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Do you have a child advocate for your child. If not you need to get one...they are very supportive and very knowledgeable about what your rights as a parent are and the rights of your child. Look for a advocate in your area and tell them what your concerns are and you are sure to get some results. They way your child is being treated is not fair. I too have an 8 year-old autistic child and I am very protective of him. Don't wait go online right now and look for the advocate. You should also get some legal advice for your child that is offered to parents for free. I don't know what state you live in but if it's PA try The Arc of Pa in Harrisburg, PA @ 800-692-7258.

Gloria - posted on 10/09/2009

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contact autism4families...on the web..we are an autism resource site and may be able to help with questions you may have ..

Angie - posted on 10/09/2009

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Go higher than the principal. Go to the person whom is charge of student services or the Superintendent. Write a letter to several people on the school board. Do not stop until you are saticified. Maybe, send a cold lunch from home. It will be what he likes and let him pick out some of his favorite things to eat, obviously within reason. I have twins one with ADHD and the other with ADD, so I can understand some of the behavioral things going. I had to write several letters regarding bullying and I got what I wanted out of it. The principal had to apoligize to me, so Good Luck!

Gemma - posted on 10/09/2009

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my daughter also is autistic and had so many behaviour problems in school and out!!! just cos you dont have an education does not mean you cannot pull him out and teach him!! he does not have to be taught the curriculum they teach in schools believe me because im doing exactly that!!they cannot force you to do anything... teaching him about money or counting and even shopping and games or even art can be classed as learning my brothers were also home taught and one of them has just finished school years and now attends college doing art and design!! if you ask me being taught at home is more benificial for kids.. try looking at a website called education otherwise... they are very helpful and know all the laws in home tutoring. also finds some kids groups for kids and parents so that youve got support from other people in your area, it really does help.. i hope this has been helpful to you and good luck.

Cheryl - posted on 10/09/2009

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Peggy, I'm curious, how did you find the doctor for your son? Was he/she under a special listing?

Michelle - posted on 10/09/2009

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Everything she said is true, and I cannot believe a school system is getting away with any of this treatment upon your child, DISCRIMINATION! Your poor child, and I have two autistic children not to mention, two ADHD, which I am in the same boat as you and my autistic child has ADHD as well. I will pray for you guys to get this straightened out as quickly as possible! That is so horrible for them to belittle your child because of his problems! Too bad it couldn't be broadcasted on the news, it's horrible! Some people within that school need to get into some serious trouble! Good luck!

Patti - posted on 10/09/2009

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peggy i have a son who is 6 and diagnosed adhd/bipolar . i had him in public school last year and i took him out after i lived the nightmare you are living now. it got so bad my son wasnot allowed recess and stayed in office all day. you can remove him from school as he is your child. i took casey out of public school and he is in a christian school now. things arenot perfect as we still see a conselor and have tried multiple meds ,only to find out that casey cannot take regular adhd meds,stimulants, he has to take a med called tenex. it is relatively new but works well. he is your son and you are the only one who can save him. please donot give up and let them win. it is a long hard fight but your child is worth it.
best wishes
patti stein

Teresa - posted on 10/09/2009

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I have a son who is 13 with autism . his brother is 18 he also has Autism. i have been around the block dealing with schools . call an IEP meeting , invite poeple who will be on YOUR side. don't go in alone. you need a Parnet adicate at the least with you . or a member of the Autism socity with you. if he is not served under an iep plan have he swiched to wear he is (504 plans are a joke)Get your local autism support group involed. go above the teacher's head if you can't work it out , if you were in NC I cauld give you the numbers to call.

Carolyn - posted on 10/09/2009

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You have to be your child's voice and stand up for him. Even if you have to step on a few people to get him his equal rights. It sounds like they are going to make you fight for him and you should. Don't stop believing in him or getting him the best education and opportunity. Stand strong and be assertive, you deserve to be treated with respect and so does he.

Praveena - posted on 10/09/2009

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i agree with them. don't let this continue. I can imagine how u would be feeling. Talk to the person who is responsible for this special needs provision. Its ur decision whether u want to continue with this school or not, its not them. A normal minded person too would not want to eat the same stuff everyday. Just because ur son is autistic that does not mean that he should be treated like this. Stop them doing this. U r the only one whom ur son is counting on !

Becky - posted on 10/09/2009

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I'm not sure where you live, but here in the state of Colorado, you would put him on an IEP (individual education plan) and then the school district has to give him the help that he needs. I work in an elementary school as a para professional with children who are autistic. With an IEP, your school district will have to give you more than they are for your child who deserves the same education as every other child. Hang in there, and know that it might tough, but when you see that he is being treated like every other child, and that he is learning and doing well...it will be worth it.

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