My 8 year old son is being rejected by peers

Michelle - posted on 04/30/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 8 year old son is being rejected by what were once his friends. He tries to join in, but if one does not want him to play then the others all band together. This has been going on for about a year since a new older boy moved to the neighbourhood. He seems to have manipulated my sons previously best friend. The 2 boys had always played together since Nursery, but over the last year his firend has become more distant as new children have moved to the area. The main problem is that the garden that all the children meet in to play football belongs to his friend. A few weeks ago I watched discreetly as they all played football, along with my son. As all the children started to go home, only his friend and the older boy were left. They turned to my son a said, we do not want to play with you because you are ugly. During that 2 hours, I watched as he was kicked when he tackled for the ball, spat on, and ignored by 3 out of 7 of the boys. He then stayed away for a few weeks before going back to try again. Today he went round. When he tried to play with the 2 boys, they picked up the football and stood and looked at him. I have spoken to the boys mother and she said she would speak to him, but this has made no difference. My son has lost a lot of confidence and now does not leave our street unless he is with his older cousin or an adult. At the moment there are 12 boys playing football and my son will not go round as he knows he will be rejected. I have even had to swap bedrooms with him, so he can not see them all having fun out his window. I am really angry and worried as I do not understand what he has done. I get really upset when I see all the other boys having fun, and my son just wants to go to bed.

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Michelle - posted on 04/30/2011

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Thanks Louise. He currently plays in the local football team and goes to Judo. I am trying to encourage him to join the Cubs for the exact reasons you have suggested. He is very apprehensive, but is willing to go and have a look.

Louise - posted on 04/30/2011

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This is so sad. I would suggest that you enrole your son into scouts or seacadets or something which is normally an all boy organisation and let him make a new set of friends. it would really boost his self esteem and it is good fun. My youngest son was very shy and withdrawn and I enroled him in the sea cadets and he loved it. He learnt how to sail and camp and problem solve in a safe environment. The leaders are older boys that have been through scouts themselves and the group is lead by men that become mentors. i can not praise the group enough. My son learnt so much and it gave him alot of confidence. he also made lots of friends that ranged from his age to nearly 18. They also socialised together alot and camped away so free time was spent packing and planning for trips. He made lots of friends which he still has now even though he left the cadets 3 years ago.

Look around your locality and see if there is an organisation like this. It would give him the boost he needs and it also brings new friends to you to as you can not help but get drawin in to help.

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