Vivian - posted on 12/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
I will cut to the chase since a lot of people are busy now.
My hubby told my son to "not tell mom .. .but, yes, she likes to lecture". They must've been discussing something and it led to that. When i was upstairs with him before bed he mentioned that Dad mentioned not to tell mom something, like he had a secret. But he wasn't happy about it. He was neutral, I'd say. . .I casually asked what it was and he proceeded to tell me that it did not feel right to say it to me cause he told dad that he would not.. .I did not press the issue. I went to ask his dad later. this was about a month or more ago and maybe it is a coincidence, but my son had his 8th birthday around that time. . he has hit this incredibly disrespectful.. .stage?
My hubby and i disagree about how to parent and I am guilty of stepping in on occasion. Almost always because i see his attempt at discipline to be incredibly wishy=washy and he acts more like a guy who wants his kid to like him.
I put an end to 'lighting firecrackers,' yes, he allowed our son to do that at age 5 and beyond. He fought me in front of him telling that either 1 of them could be injured. . .i was like. .um. . . your point. . . .
And, i just seem to be the boundary maker.
We argue constantly and I am sure and my son will agree, it bothers him. He could be acting out and interrupting me in mid sentence constantly, for ex. because he is sick of our bickering. We need to figure it out, but with him as an only, when we are home, he is rarely far away and my hubby says no to a counselor. I have pleaded for years.
My hubby's mom refuses to respect my word and has swatted my son on several occasions. My hubby's reply to my concern is that i basically don't have anything better to worry about, I am a stay at home mother, with a tiny bit of work on the side. I work very hard in and outside the house and beyond.
his mom just thinks she would compromise her natural feeling if she always has to think of her words and actions so carefully. She does not hit him hard, but it is done right after a warning, or at least in front of my eyes. She has told him not to cry on many many occasions, even at a baby age. They are from Eastern Europe, and maybe i just don't fit in. Maybe it's time to admit that .
He has said the same.
He recently 'disciplined' our son by taking roller blades away for a week. First, he told him a week (we were having dinner and he was kicking my chair, to get them off apparently)... he refused to stop.. .and got a consequence! I felt as if my hubby finally defined a boundary. But, after about a minute my son protested and he reduced it to " well, at least you won't have them tonight". . .then.. . protest.. .but not much.. .and no one was discussing this at all. . .my hubby says that "well, if you can come up with something to do for Daddy. . .or Mom.. ..maybe i can let you get them back sooner." Can you understand why i sacrifice the unity thing when he gets like this? Would this bother anyone else?
Our son is now, in my opinion, about as sassy and oppositional as can be. Every turn deserves argument in his opinion. I can't ask him if he wants breakfast of an egg/toast without him telling me "NO", then a minute later, when i am eating his "No" turns to a yes, and he wants it now. . .and he resents waiting for it. I did notice a slight cold coming on, so that could've added to it this a.m.. .but, it's not far off from the usual behavior.
He stops me in mid sentence, even when i am not 'lecturing' like, i am telling him that i have packed some things so he knows . . . he'll say.. ."yeah, okay" before i am thru.. I have gotten some "whatever"s and such as well. Eye rolling. . . sighing.. .
I am so sad and feel as if he would even choose to live with my hubby if we should ever deem our differences irreconcilable. I hate that he is becoming(hopefully not) a brat. He has always had an edge to him.
I am lost and afraid. My parents are deceased and we live out in the middle of nowhere, in my humble opinion.
can anyone help me out? I don't wanna cave in to be liked, and i don't want to lose my son and have him grow up to show women anything but respect.