My 8 year old son wrote a note to a girl asking if she wanted to have sex. I found out by a phone call from the school. I was devastated, shocked, totally overwhelmed and did not know he even knew the word. I am at a loss as to what to do. When I questioned him as to his definition of sex, he answered

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Kristi - posted on 03/02/2013

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he answered.......

I would definitely want to know what he thinks he knows and I would want to know where he learned it.

Then you discuss it truthfully. Use the proper names, not slang. You want him to be comfortable hearing and saying those words. I would be clinical about it at this point. Maybe get an age appropriate book at the library and let him read it at his pace and you can read when he's not. Then you can talk to him about this or that and ask him questions to see if he understands what he is reading.

My 2nd husband (we're separated now) went through this with his son last year. He was 9. He called me and told me about it and I was like WTF?! They were text messeges between my stepson and a girl and they were not talking about sex, they were talking about f***ing. The school didn't find them, my husband did. He called the girl's parents. Needless to say, he took his son's phone away. Even though it appeared that the girl sent the first text, my husband made him write apology letters to the girl and to her parents for being so disrespectful. Of course, they had a long talk.

What did the school say? Did the girl actually receive the note or was it intercepted (spelling?) before she or any other kid got it?

Jodi - posted on 03/02/2013

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Yeah, I'd like to know what he answered, because I'd say there is a BIG possibility he didn't even know what sex really was when he wrote that note and that it was a purely innocent request.

But it is definitely time to have a discussion with him. When I talked to my son, he was about 10, and we have a book called "What is Happening to Me", specifically targeted at pre-teen boys.

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Charly - posted on 03/02/2013

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His answer was kissing. He said he heard the word sex from music on the radio.

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