My 8 yo third grade daughter is still having pretty severe crying spells when it comes to going to school.

Lauryn - posted on 01/03/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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We switched schools this year from a small private to a large public and she is in the gifted program. At first she said she didn't like her teacher (we had a bad experience with a teacher last year who left school in March due to numerous parental complaints on her screaming at the children). But I spoke with the teacher and even though she is old school strict she was received my feedback very well and worked with her to develop a better relationship. Now she says it isn't her teacher that it's just the school. I have asked her all of the obvious questions and she insists that she isn't being bullied, hurt or harrassed in any way. She says that she cannot come up with the words to describe why she feels nervous going there but her legs feel wobbly and stomach hurts when she goes on campus. She wants really badly to go back to her old school but she has made good friends at the new school. I'm getting exhausted...we even contacted the psychologist that did her evaluation for the gifted program and she agreed that something related to fear is going on but doesn't think she is being harmed. She didn't recommend one way or the other whether I should put her back in old school or force her to stay put and deal with her anxiety. She is a very communicative child and very outgoing but can be shy and sensitive. At this point I feel bad that she had two back to back bad years with crying often. The teacher doesn't think it's academically based says she is doing well and has from the first day. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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Amy - posted on 01/03/2013

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We had a similar problem with our 6 year old. His is definitely anxiety based and our pediatrician recommended we go see a child psychologist to help come up with different ways of dealing with his anxiety. Of course right after I spoke to the pediatrician my son got better. Personally I wouldn't go back to the old school because if the problem persists there then you are going to be forced to deal with the problem. Also when kids have anxiety once they find something that gets them out of what they don't want to do they will continue to use that because their mind will tell them it's worked in the past.

Ariana - posted on 01/03/2013

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I think what you're doing right now having her evaluated is a good idea. Maybe she is just anxious due to her bad experience before and that is somehow carrying over. Have you asked her if there is anything you can do to try and make things easier? I don't know your daughter well enough to know for sure what.

Even though she has friends there maybe she's having anxiety about fitting in with others, can she join any groups/clubs at the school? I know when I was younger I joined really random clubs like science club or stamp club, just stuff they had going on at certain recesses and things. Maybe that would make her feel more comfortable?

If the school is bigger with more kids she may just feel anxious about the amount of people around. I would definitely wait until the psychologist talks to her to see what's going on. She might need to see a councellor or something to help her cope with her anxiety.

It's great that you're trying to help her, good luck figuring everything out.

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