My 9 month old will not sleep through the night, any tips?

Jovanne - posted on 11/18/2008 ( 44 moms have responded )

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She wakes up every three hours wanting to be nursed back to sleep! I've tried giving her multiple dinners recently before bed, but it does nothing! I've tried waking us both up earlier and doesn't really help either. I would just like to see what other routines other mom's use to put their babies to sleep.

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Jenny - posted on 11/22/2012

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Hi I have 7 months old baby. Until 3 months he slept so good he didnt woke up at nights at all. He didnt want even to eat. But from 3 months till now every night he starts crying every 30 mins- 1 hour. He sleep all night from 9 pm - 8 am, he dont woke up but he starts crying and only thing what helps is a bottle with milk. He dont eat it all. He eats a lil bit and then hes good for another 30 min - 1 hour... I dont know what to do...that he would not cry at nights..Does anyone had problem like this?

[deleted account]

Ah, sleeping throught the night. :) For me sleep is huge. We did sleep training with my first son after he started waking more often at about 7.5 months. With my second, I eliminated one of his nighttime feeding earlier on (around 4 months) and after that he gradually stopped waking up at night at 5.5 months. Not consistently though until about 9 months old.

The most important thing is to KNOW your baby - teething? hungry? wet? personality?

Then the key to getting them to sleep is to 'let' them cry a bit to figure out that they can go back to sleep by themselves. Contrary to what some people think, 'crying it out' does NOT mean not responding to your baby when they cry at night or leaving them to cry by themselves for hours on end. That would of course be cruel.

The method we used was to first establish a bedtime routine. It doesn't matter what it is (baths are great though) as long as you are rock solid CONSISTANT. That way, your baby learns that it's nighttime and it means sleep. It's ok to go check on them and we even picked both of our sons up to soothe them a bit (and check for diaper leaks, poops, temperature etc.) but then put them back in thier crib. The timed methods seem to work pretty well for everyone (check baby, put back down and leave for 5 minutes, then again but wait 10 minutes etc. - you can pick your own time interval but lengthen it each time) because the parent gets to check on the baby and the baby gets comforted.

Remember if you are still feeding multiple times a night to just eliminate one feeding at at time - even if they are 9 months - it's just kinder that way even though usually a 9 month old can manage at least 8 - 10 hours without food at nighttime.

Also contrary to what some people say, this method of letting baby learn how to put themselves back to sleep does NOT damage them. A couple of good reads are Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth) and the Ferber book (NO, they don't advocate letting your baby cry away for hours by themselves!)

In the end try to find what works for your baby but be consistent with bedtime routine, nighttime checking procedure and make sure they get regular naps during they day.

Once everyone is getting sleep at nighttime you will be a happier better parent and your child will be happier, eat better and have the ability to cope with learning so many new things!

Good luck!

Angie - posted on 11/18/2008

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Hi there, my son is 3 and only now sleeps through.... one night we woke up every hour and nearly went crazy. You have to (if she is in her cot) just ignore her, and if she is in her own bed then just keep taking her to her bed, even if its 10 times a night, it will only be for a week or two..... hang in there, you are not alone!!!! I tried milo, horlicks everything to get him to sleep better, and I finally realized that he was waking up just out of habit...... I hope you come right.

[deleted account]

I had the same problem with my now 2 year old, and the only thing that worked (and I felt comfortable with) was Daddy going in and putting her back to sleep. It took 5 nights of his help and she was MUCH better. More solid food never impacted any of it, and I don't think I could have done it without his help. good luck to you ... and don't let her cry if you don't want to!!! We never let our DD cry and I still feel great about it!

[deleted account]

My daughter did not sleep through the nights when she was 9 months old. Each baby is different. Give her time and she will figure it out. When she wakes up at night, just rock her to sleep or take her to bed with you.. Then she will know she will not be nursed to sleep in the middle of the night.

Please ignore the comments about crying it out and babywise. Both of them are very dangerous and it will cause traumatic problems for her. Her doctors has told us NEVER do those because the doctors never seen any successes with that. I have friends that tried CIO (crying it out) and babywise and they really regret it.

Try this book: http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solut... It worked so well

now I have a toddler I also bought this because things does change when they are a toddler: http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solut...

If you still need help, you are welcome to send me a message!

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Jovanne - posted on 11/18/2008

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So many helpful replies! Thank you so much! After reading your helpful tips, I've decided on fine tuning my daughter and I's daily and nightly routine. My schedule is different every day, which really threw off Rhea's schedule from the beginning, naps and all. I've been trying to wake us up and go to sleep the same time everyday. Also, to have everything on a strict routine. I think this will help because I've talked to many babysitter mom's that watch multiple children of multiple ages (infant to 2 yrs) and because they follow a strict routine, all the children have a similar bedtime schedule at home with their parents, they sleep through the night. My recent goal is to have us simply wake up earlier (between 6 and 7 AM), assuming a longer day will wear her out more. I'm going to set notifications on my phone (sounds silly but that's me) to remind me to do certain things at certain times. That's my plan! Thank you everybody!

Katie - posted on 11/18/2008

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give your baby a bottle of tap water! my son is nearly 4 and he still wakes up through the night because he gets thirsty. he never slept for more than 3 hrs at any one time until we replaced milk with tap water in his bottle at 2 1/2 yrs old.

Ricarda - posted on 11/18/2008

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I agree with Christine my oldest would throw up if I let him cry for more than 3 mins so I just started giving him water in the middle of the night and eventually he learned that he wasn't going to get nursed and didn't bother toi wake up.

Gennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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Since my daughter is almost 4 months old sleeping through the night and I had to quit nursing, I can't say I'm experienced enough to really answer your question. However, I can tell you that having your baby sleep with you as other posters have suggested is dangerous! My husband is a police officer and right around the time our daughter was born one of his co-workers responded to a call of an infant who had basically been smothered to death from sleeping in the bed with his parents. There is a reason we aren't supposed to put a lot of lose blankets or stuffed animals in the bed with them until a certain age and we cannot control what we do while we are sleeping. While many people have had no issues with this, I personally wouldn't want to be the one parents that kills their child. The specially designed co-sleepers are much safer but my marriage is much happier since we put our daughter in her own room. Anyone having issues with this: We put the bed she slept in when she was in our room into hers and let her sleep in there a few nights. We then tried her in the crib and rigged vibration to help get her to sleep. She's been in her own bed for a little over 2 months now and hasn't needed vibration for over 6 weeks! (Side note ~ We didn't have a choice but to move her because she outgrew everything!) Sorry if I sound like I'm "preaching" about co-sleeping but I don't think there are enough warnings about this out there!!!

[deleted account]

My son did the same thing between 6 and 9 months (intermittently) - as someone else said earlier its usually a habit (not hunger or sickness) - who wouldn't want to get picked up and held or nursed during the night? My advice - put her down at night and be prepared to go thru a couple of sleepless nights while she (possibly) screams. Go in a couple times, pat the back (don't pick her up!!), leave the room. After a couple nights of this my son realized I wasn't going to pick him up or feed him, and he started sleeping thru the night, every night. Good luck to you!!

[deleted account]

Try to let her cry her self to sleep.I just recently did this with my 9 month old and the first night he cryed about 20 min and the next night 5 min and now when I lay him to bed he does'nt even fuss.

Liz - posted on 11/18/2008

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I feel your pain! I am attachment parenting and breastfeeding but I was never into the idea of sharing my bed with my kid. So we started out trying to have him sleep in his own room in a crib at 4 months. But he never took to it and would wake every 3 hours or so leaving my husband and I ragged each morning. So out of sheer exhaustion we began co-sleeping and now we all sleep better. I know it's not for everyone but it really helped solve our sleep issues. Now I barely wake up at all if my boy rouses to nurse. I don't think he wakes up fully either. And my husband doesn't wake at all. I guess this works only if you're breastfeeding, though. My pediatrician assured me it's safe and although my son doesn't need to eat at night it's okay if he does since breastfed babies can't overeat.

Star - posted on 11/18/2008

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I completely agree with Gloria on the book "Babywise" -- we had to do the crying out thing with all four of hours. I always sent my hubby in to to do the back patting - if they saw me they wanted to nurse! And I do remember going out onto the back deck and telling my hubby I'd be out there if they needed me when I just couldn't take it anymore. Mine are 14, 12, 7 and 4 and all are well-adjusted kids. I don't think it did any damage!

[deleted account]

Oh, and I forgot to mention, the earlier you get this over with the better - the older they get the more persistant they are and gradually the more issues compound - climbing out of bed, nightmares etc. etc. :)

Amanda - posted on 11/18/2008

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hi ya it sounds like she has made it her routine mate i know this sound hash and its not easy to do but i did it with two of mine and it worked put her in her cott let her cry go to her every 15 minutes but dont lift her up sit with her calm her down then walk back out wait 15 mins go back she will cry her self to sleep and it will be like that a couple of weeks but she will learn its bed time at that time and go to sleep when put in her cott give her a bath and a bottle before u put her down and remember to make sure u put her down the same time every night gd luck with it x

Mia - posted on 11/18/2008

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She isn't hungry, just wanting some soothing! More food at bed time won't help, but finding other ways to sooth her will. The most comforting thing for babies is nursing, it's survival. She needs to be taught to go back to sleep on her own. At some point we all learned it and it was a good thing... in the long run. It may take a couple nights of intermittent crying, my only advice is to be consistent. If you let her cry for 20 min. and then say "I can't do this" then it just teaches her you'll come in after 20 min. of crying. With my kids, I stayed next to the crib and sang, patted, shushed, etc until they fell asleep. My first it took one time of crying 20 min, my second child took a week. I like the "sit next to the crib" method because I couldn't bare to shut the door on them when they cried. Eventually you move the chair further and further away from the crib until you are outside her room and then you can just lay her down and leave. Good Luck! Good Night, Sleep Tight is a great book!

Rachael - posted on 11/18/2008

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I don't and can't let my babies "cry it out". Some things that have helped our babies sleep better is a consistant bedtime routine. Bathtime right before bed seems to help calm them down pretty well and get prepared for resting. Also try mixing your daughters baby food with baby cereal (rice or oatmeal). It seems to help fill up their little tummies better than baby food alone. Good luck and don't do anything your not comfortable with there are always many solutions to a problem, do what feels right for you.

Gloria - posted on 11/18/2008

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My DS and DD are 12 and 8 years old now. My son was 18 months old before he was sleeping through the night. We did the co-sleeping thing with DS - big mistake!!! With DD, we started her on a daytime schedule at 2 weeks old per Babywise - eat, play, change diaper, sleep, repeat - every 2-3 hours. She was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old - big difference!! Getting back to my son, at 18 months old, I put a bit of Peace & Calming on his temples - and HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME! If there is no need for feedings, there is no need to wake during the night - provided a wet diaper is not an issue. I highly recommend Babywise and Peace & Calming!

Teresa - posted on 11/18/2008

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interesting, i too am a mental health professional and licensed marriage and family counselor. of course you do not let your children cry for extended lengths of time w/out intervening. in my previous post i recommended patting after crying that lasted 30 +. that was also approved by my pedi. we all love our children and would not do anything to harm them physically or emotionally. jennifer, you rock!.

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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Without getting into a heated debate, I think you must do what is best for your family's physical and mental well-being. As a mental health professional, I chose to use crying it out as it was what was best for our whole family's well-being. I do not believe that there are negative effects to using this method on the nervous system of the child. The research referred to in these links is not directly addressing healthy, attached infants and crying it out. That research is looking at cases of neglect. That said--if you feel it is dangerous, it is obviously not going to be the healthy choice for your family.

Kate - posted on 11/18/2008

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Thank you Sarah for posting those links. I agree that it is dangerous for their nervous systems. In my opinion babies cry as a form of comunication, when you let them cry you are telling them that you don't respond to their needs. I tried it briefly out exhaustion and i felt like it did way more bad than good for my son. He started hating his bed and naps and everything became more dificult.

Sarah - posted on 11/18/2008

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please don't let your babies cry it out!! not only is this dangerous, it can seriously affect their overall brain development. while some peds may reccommend crying it out, current research is strongly against it. remember, peds are for seeking medical help, not parenting advise! here are some links to cry it out research:





Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies

Dr Sears

http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.a...



EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

What parents and caregivers need to know!

by Phyllis Porter, M.A.

http://www.educarer.com/brain.htm





CIO? No! The case for not using "cry-it-out" with your children

http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/atta...e...



The Dangers of Leaving Your Baby to Cry

By Margaret Chuong-Kim, M.A.

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-...



Crying for Comfort: Distressed Babies Need to Be Held

http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...o...



Have you considered co-sleeping? My son is almost 21 months. We nursed for over 16 months and co-sleeping really made this possible. He learned to latch himself at around 5 months old so if he woke up hungry, he could nurse while I was still sleeping.

Kate - posted on 11/18/2008

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oh yes on the lovies- I loaded his crib with lovies and he also has a me in the mirror that entertains him when he wakes sometimes.

Leslie - posted on 11/18/2008

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I am working on the same problem myself - my baby is 6 months. She went from sleeping 7-10 hours to waking up more regularly. One of the reasons I believe is she is teething. The no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley has a lot of good ideas that you can use. Some that I have been using include giving her a lovey, using both bed time and nap time routines, making sure the house is dark at night especially during the wake ups feeding and changing in the dark etc. Good luck!

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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My daughter was a hungry baby too. She did this to me until I started feeding her suppers later and making sure she ate everything. This worked for a few nights. Then she started waking up again 2, 3 times a night. My body could not take it, so my hubby and I decided to let her cry after 2, 3 nights of crying she gave up and slept through the night. I know it will be hard to hear your baby cry but this is what worked for me, I hope it works for you,,,,,,

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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I agree with most of the other moms-let her cry,it sounds terrible, but it works.my youngest (of 3) is 7 months and we let her cry it out starting 2 wks ago. It took eight days before the crying completely stopped, and the first 3-4 days she was crying 2-3 hours!! it is heartbreaking,but now just a few days later I can feed her, kiss her, and lay her down and she is asleep 10 minutes later. one suggestion would be to put her in a pack & play until she stops bumping her head and stuff-the pack & play has mesh siding and they can't get stuck or hurt. as far as consoling her I would only go in every 20 minutes or so and makes sure she is ok and leave or else you may just start more bad habits. the issue is , she just has to figure out how to self-soothe...and she will never be able to remember crying it out-good luck and stay strong!

Kate - posted on 11/18/2008

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I have tried the cry it out method as well. My son, like your daughter, screamed until he was hysterical. Once it went on for FIVE hours- I do not think crying for more that 30 minutes is good for them- their nervous systems are delicate. I do know that when I would go into his room it would start the process all over again. He demands to nurse and turns into a little maniac if I don't. My goal right now is just to decrease the feedings since the cry it out method did not work for my son. It really has been working and it is not as stressful. I make sure all his needs are met and then assess the crys. I have found that some of the times I would get up and nurse him he was not completely awake- he seemd to be awake and was crying but he was actually going from one sleep cycle to another. I gave it 10 minutes if the crying increased and he started calling for me I went in tried the paci and the ocean wonders aquarium (which is a god sent!) then nursed if he wouldn't calm down. I found that the wake up between 11 and 12 was a sleep cycle change and he cried for about five minutes and remained asleep, as with the 4 o'clock wake up. I had my husband help with the 2 o'clock and the wake-ups before 11 and that has helped when he could do it. I do agree that it is a pattern that he has learned but I know that stoping cold turkey and crying it out did not work for us. Some babies are more high strung than others and crying it out doesn't work for every baby. I have been doing this for a few weeks and my son, though not always consistant, has reduced to one to two wake-ups per night.

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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Yes, good point Teresa--you say "you're safe, mommy is in her bed down the hall. I love you and will see you in the morning."

Teresa - posted on 11/18/2008

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oh!! i also told my babies what i was going to do. as i put them to bed i briefly told them that i wouldn't come into thier room...etc...but that i would see them first thing in the morning and that i loved them...

Sharon - posted on 11/18/2008

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Jovanne, its going to be one of the hardest things you do!!!!! I know how hard it is, I've been through it. Try giving her a bottle of water or sippy cup. Maybe she is just thirsty. If you have to, stay in her room with her and reassure her that you are there...just don't pick her up. Talk softly to her, lay her back down and pat her back. Also, my son LOVED to listen to classical music. I just put in on real low.

Teresa - posted on 11/18/2008

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some of that crying is theatrics. they know what will get to you. i've done some patting w/my daughter. i think girls are more difficult. but don't make it a habit. they will not die from crying. after 30 min. i would send my husband in to pat on the back. but it just seems to delay everything. maybe do it the first night.

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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Jovanna-
She will cry angrily for a good while the first night and you cannot give in. Many of us have found ourselves in bathrooms running the shower to drown out the sound of the cries (and crying ourselves) so we understand but the more you give in the worse the problem gets. After a couple rough nights, it improves. If she makes herself sick crying, Weisbluth discusses that. Otherwise, you gotta stick with it or use the Ferber method, which is a bit less intimidating then simply "crying it out."

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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I agree with what the others have recommended.. I have a 9 month old too who was waking up at 1 or 2 in the morning and yelling her head off. We stopped giving her a bottle as she's HUGE - so we would go in pick her up, turn on her music (we have one of those Ocean Wonders Aquariums on her crib), kiss her and lay her back down. It took 2 nights. This was last week. This week - she's still waking up - but she's turning on her own music, no crying and she goes right back to sleep. At this point, she definately doesn't need the food - she just wants the comfort. The other tip is that if you're going in to comfort by picking up, back patting, whatever - give it a minute or so longer each night before you go in there. The first night, it might be after 5 minutes of fussing, the second might be after 6 minutes... The wonderful thing about this stage is that it doesn't last forever - and they will go to college some day. LOL! That's when I joke and say I'll finally be able to sleep again.. but probably now. :) Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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I agree with all of these smart mommies. We let our daughter "cry it out" and she is a happy adjusted almost three year old (don't let people scare you into thinking she will become a monster or feel unloved if you do this). We used Weisbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as our sleep bible for the first two years and it helped us with what to do when and also just supporting us when we worried!!

User - posted on 11/18/2008

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i totally agree with the pat on the back dont lift as my youngest is 3 yrs and she still dont sleep right through as i left it to late and she got use to waking up for a drink now of anything as i tried the water and she just got use to it now for an easy life she comes in our bed

Jovanne - posted on 11/18/2008

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I've tried letting her cry it out, but she gets so angry! She scream/cries and pushes her head in the side of the bed by pushing with her feet out of anger! I let her cry it out for 1 hr. before and went to pick her up and she was shaking so bad uncontrollably from crying so much. If I have to just wait for her to cry to exhaustion, it is going to be hard!

Teresa - posted on 11/18/2008

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my pediatrician was very firm about stopping all night feedings. she said 9 mo. olds do not need night feedings - can lead to becoming overweight. she told us to ignore the crying. at the time, my son was only waking up once, about 3 a.m. she said it would take a few days but eventually he would stop waking up. it was hard. it took about 4 days. she told us NOT to go in the room. might cry for 30 min. but it would be okay. 1st night was the most difficult. he did cry for 30 min. ea. night he cried less until he didn't awake at all. my little girl took about a week before she stopped waking up in the night. 9 months is a good age to stop the night-time feedings (according to the dr.) she said babies are very smart and know how to get us to feed them in the night. she said never to go back in room to help baby go back to sleep unless baby is sick, dirty diaper. otherwise, if you back in there it will start the process over again. also try the food made for night-time feedings. gerber makes a cereal to help babies sleep through the nite.

Andrea - posted on 11/18/2008

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I'm in the same boat. My little guy is only 7 months, but is waking at least 3 times between 8pm and 7 am. His crib is in our room, since we don't have a bedroom for him. He does not cry it out and fall back to sleep. One night after an hour and a half I gave in and nursed him back to sleep. We haven't tried it since. We made my DD cry it out when she was this age, but the longest she ever cried was 30-40 minutes, and that was in the beginning! Let me know if you find something that works.!

Kate - posted on 11/18/2008

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I have a nine month old with the exact same sleep pattern as yours. I have recently been able to eliminate a few feedings by getting my husband to go in a put his paci in and pat his back. I picked which feedings I knew he didn't need to space it out and had him go in at those wake-ups. It doesn't always work but has helped decrease the number of feedings. If you find any tips that work please pass them my way!!! I'm exhausted!

Ann - posted on 11/18/2008

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You may just have to let her cry it out. If you don't work weekends try starting on a Thursday or Friday night at least this way you will be able to sleep in late if need be. "Experts" say kids need routine in their lives and once she realizes you are not coming in she may stop getting up. Good Luck To You.

[deleted account]

I agree with Sharon. My boy (when he turned 12 months) started to do this and the only way out of it was a bit of tough love. When he cried in the night I would not pick him up, but sooth him from the side of the cot and lie him back not if needed. I stayed in the room though until he went back top sleep, lying him back down every time he stood up. After about 1 hr on the first night he understood and only 30 mins on the second night. We have had no problems since and now if he wakes in the night he is usually able to sort himself out.

Christine - posted on 11/18/2008

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try giving her a bottle of water at night instead of nursing or just a pacifier. Unless she's underweight and needs the nutrition she doesn't really need the food so taking away that nurishment and closeness makes the baby not want to get up as much. Worked for my sister-in-law anyways. Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 11/18/2008

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At this point, I don't think she is getting up because of hunger. It is out of habit. I would go to her room when she wakes up, pat her on the back and go back to bed. Keep doing this every 10 minutes or so until she falls back asleep. It may take a couple of nights of hell but she will learn to put herself back to sleep. I have 4 children and I had to do this with everyone of my babies! Its hard but it works. Also, if she uses a pacifier, pop that in her mouth before you pat her on the back!

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