My 9 year old daughter has no friends

Laura - posted on 11/04/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter was crying last night because her brother has friends over all the time and she has no friends that she can invite over. She trys to make friends but they say shes weird. When it comes to talking with someone and they hit it off, it only last a week or so. She says she walks around by herself at recess because noone will let her play with them. I want to help her but not sure how. She has played soccer for 3 years and softball for fall, girl scouts, gymnastic and still made no friends. She doesn't know how to act normal around kids she uncomfortable with and acts weird and rude when all she wants is to be friends. Does anyone have any ideas?

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JL - posted on 11/07/2016

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Hi! I have a 10 year old who's struggled with this for sometime and finally found her way to making a few friends. Here's a few ideas and an article (though not exactly on her problem, but with a few good ideas on building confidence, what parents can do, etc.) http://bit.ly/2fbqpdz
1.) Building her confidence in what she knows and can do that others may enjoy. My daughter is inventive and came up with her own idea of making a "Dragon's Club" where the kids she wanted to play with could pretend like her to name their dragon's, etc., following after the TV kid's series and movie (How to Train Your Dragon).
2.) Helping her to know that it's ok to be different, but if her behavior is not socially acceptable, it'll hinder her being able to interact with others. So in my daughter's case I told her she needed to not talk all the time (which she gets honestly from her parents, so I've worked on being a better listener and her seeing that), not being a know-it-all and letting others come up with ideas, etc.
3.) I've also told her to seek out like-minded kids to have has friends. If she sees another kids being picked on or that seems alone like her to propose playing with them. This was the door that really helped her find a couple of kindred spirits (so to speak). ;)
4.) Lastly, encouraging her to just start playing (if she takes her jump robe, marbles, whatever it is they permit at her school) and she'll see, kids will just join her and then she can slowly engage in sharing and open the opportunity to share on common interests.
Hope this helps!

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