My 9 year old is suffering from the loss of a dear close friend

Larissa - posted on 01/17/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




She was 70 years old like a nan to her. She passed from lung cancer in August 2014.
Ellie says nothing feels the same now Kath has gone.
It breaks my heart to see her upset because im still getting upset.
Any suggestions to help me/her ?
I have bought some worry dolls and a book for her to write in.


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Gena - posted on 01/17/2015




Maybe if you have a photo you could put a photo up with a little candle holder.Your daughter could light the candle when she is upset. My 10 yr old sister passed away from a tumor 10yrs ago this coming december. We light a candle every day for her. And it is very emotional because her friends that were also 10yrs old at the time still contact my mother on her death day to tell my mom how much they miss her or how they remember this and that. One of her friends still has photos of my sister hanging in her room. I would never have thought it effected 10yr olds in such a way. I am thankful that she is not forgotten. We have pictures if her everywhere and one special place with the candles and my mom puts flowers there. Sometimes i light a candle and just sit there and think of the good times,sometimes i still cry. Grieving is important,i was 16yr old and she passed away in my arms on a saturday morning..on monday my parents sent me to work was not a good idea,my mom still apologizes,she thought it would be good for me to get my mind off the situation..she only ment it well,but i should have taken more time to grieve. For a long time i felt "guilty" that i just let her die in my arms. I thought to myself WHY,WHY did i not try to give her oxygen or just do something to keep her with us. I went to counseling and even to the doctor and he said there was nothing,absolutly nothing anybody could have done to keep her with us. Sorry that i wrote so much about me now. I guess to keep it short:Give her time to grieve,get a book about death to explain to her incase she has questions,go to counseling and do something special with her like the photo and candle. I am sorry for your loss and i wish you and your daughter lots of strength. Btw.. I once heard a beautifull saying: If somebody leaves this earth they are like cant always see them but they are always there.

Jodi - posted on 01/17/2015




Has she had any grief counselling? Children grieve in a different way than we do, and there are sessions out there to help children with their grief, or to help us as parents help our children with grief. I know I often see them offered through my daughter's school, but there may be some offered by local community organisations or churches in your area too.

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