my adult daughter is a narcissist

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

I want to share and learn how to navigate my situation as I am forced to go no contact with a 21 year old adult daughter who is killing me while she self - destructs. I have been suicidal watching this for the last five to six years. I now realize there is nothing I can do. She is severely emotionally abusive. It wouldn't be as difficult if my other daughter and only other child hadn't died at age 19 from a brain tumor. Thank you.

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Mimi - posted on 04/06/2016

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dear robbie,
I'm sorry to hear of your situation. good for you, that you have drawn a line and allowing yourself to live - go you! as much as it hurts, a great first step! keep your head up and stay strong! your daughter needs to figure out her life on her own. and she can't treasure you for who you are, if she doesn't know what it is like to not be part of your life. you are in my thoughts. check out this link, you may find it helpful :) http://bit.ly/1RPZLzP

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/06/2016

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I saw nothing unkind, nor out of line here. As usual, the OP didn't like being asked about counseling and what she'd done PRIOR to her daughter becoming an adult.

I didn't see any blame slung either.

Thin skinned folks simply shouldn't seek advice on the internet...

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2016

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I actually wasn't being unkind when I asked about the counselling. I just wanted to check what your daughter's therapist or psychiatrist had to say about the situation, that's all, and whether in fact she had ever been to one. The fact is, you gave very little information. So I was just wanting to know, that's all. My answer would be different depending on what you had to say. But whatever......do you always interpret things like this?

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2016

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I wish you (the OP) had not shut down. You received four responses, and you threw up your defenses and then quit the thread. Just because you did not get immediate responses that were what you wanted to hear, you gave up? I don't get it, if you want advice or feedback, then you gotta be able to take some you may agree with and some that you may not agree with- why is that so hard?

MaryAnn - posted on 04/05/2016

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Narcissists are insidious, practically incurable abusers who, given the opportunity, cause severe damage to ones sense of self- this damage is compounded by fear, guilt and obligation of and to the abuser, and the victim is usually unaware, or believes THEY are the problem through gas lighting. If you are working thoroughly with your counsellor, you have likely barely scratched the surface of what damage HAS been done, nevermind fixed it.
If this isn't the situation you are experiencing, you aren't dealing with a narcissist, you have just raised a brat.

[deleted account]

My daughter would never cooperate with counseling. Wow. The responses here are so unkind. I am a 63 year old mother of a 21 year old child who exhibits Narcissistic traits. I am not going to say more here. I feel like everyone is thinking something and I have no idea what it is. LOL. Someone says that six months isn't very long to be in counseling for a Narc issue. Okay. wow. Goodbye. Thanx for the support. Good luck to everyone here.

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2016

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I am curious as to whether this is a diagnosis that your daughter's psychiatrist has given, or whether you've just come up with this diagnosis yourself. You have indicated that this has been going on for 5 or 6 years, so she was a minor at the time. I am assuming you have had her in therapy, counselling or had her diagnosed in some way.

MaryAnn - posted on 04/05/2016

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I don't know what to tell you. I mean, our experiences with narcissits are totally different, and I have difficulties imagining what I could say, because mine holds an entirely different place in my life and hopefully past.
What I can tell you is that there is a different forum... A different website called Out of the FOG that I have found massively helpful. Maybe check it out.

MaryAnn - posted on 04/05/2016

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Six months isn't really a whole lot of time to be seeing a counsellor when dealing with a narcissist.

[deleted account]

Thank you. Smiles. I have been in counseling since September 2015 for this issue. It is very very difficult. I appreciate your response. Understand I came here because I have no other family nor a husband. And my best friend said she could no longer be my best friend if I did not move out last September, because she could no longer watch me being abused. It was difficult to go no contact. I am doing it now.

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