My adult kids wont leave home and they wont help

Morag - posted on 01/10/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have 4 kids 28,23,21 & 13. I am 47 and disabled my 3 girls still live at home but my son has his own house and family but his daughter my granddaughter who is 3 yrs old maze well live with us as she's left hear constantly I'm sick of giving him and his fiancé money to pay their bills but if i don't he makes me feel guilty and just shouts at me my 2 oldest girls refuse to help they don't tell me they cant give me any keep they just don't pay it full stop they do nothing to help i pay for everything and my youngest daughter refuses to do anything she wont even clean her bedroom my 21 yr old is 8 months pregnant I've had to buy everything for the baby the girls don't work all my kids have drained my savings they all owe me thousands of pounds that they have borrowed that they said they would pay back but they don't they argue constantly even laying hands on each other they wont stop arguing constantly i keep threatening to walk out but they don't care they treat me like I'm a door mat they run my household bills threw the ceiling I've had enough i cant take anymore. Please help before i have a nervous breakdown. Morag.


Jodi - posted on 01/10/2014




Is it your house? Why should you be the one to walk out?

What you need to do is sit down and draw up a rental agreement with those who are still living in your home. That agreement should include the amount they must pay each week, what utilities they must pay over and above that, and a list of their responsibilities in the home. You also include a clause that if the agreement is breached, you may evict them.

And then you do it. If they still don't pay and still run your bills up, and still do nothing around the house, you have them evicted. What they are doing to you is not acceptable, and you need to stop enabling them. Stand your ground, be strong and look after yourself.

With regard to your son and his fiance, you need to stop giving him money. If he yells at you, you let him know you will not tolerate being yelled at in your own home, and that he is no longer welcome. With regard to your granddaughter, are they just leaving her with you to babysit without your agreement?

The problem is, you are being treated like a doormat because you are allowing them to treat you that way. You now need to give some tough love and make it clear that this is NOT ok.

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