D - posted on 09/10/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hello, new here...and thanks for any help/advise on my issue, its truly breaking my heart. Heres the short: My son is 20, his new gf is 21 almost 22 with a 2 yr old son...We, my husband and I, allowed her to move in with us last yr. with her son because they were homeless and couch surfing, so my son met her, liked her and well, we were an easy target for her I guess. She lied to me before we moved allowed her to move in, she said she didn't drink and she does...she said she never did drugs and she does, on occasion I think, she slept around a lot or so we hear thru the grapevine (small town) so, they...my son, her and her son, lived with us last summer for 5 months, then moved out as we ALL had a huge disagreement, they were gone for 3 weeks to her grandmas where they had an OUT with her, grandma called the cops..hmmm, and well they requested to come back to our house...so, here they were back at our house again...mind you no one had a job, so I worked and paid for everything...I don't mind helping my son out til hes on his feet but, it got a bit ridiculous after 4 months...so, I then find out she was getting 331.00 child support since feb 2015 yet, never gave me a penny or paid a utility bill, my bill went from 125.00 mo. to 300 a month, I am gone all day working so, once my son had a job, she said she would help with the electric...never happened..finally a disconnect notice and my son FINALLY paid 250 on it, she said from there on out she would pay it..so 3 months later and my bill was at 800, she never paid it...we had a fight and well I told them, now you have a job, she has a tanning salon job and 331 child support you all can move out...I gave them 2 weeks and nothing...in the last 6 months letting them live here FREE gave them both the ability to save enough for a 2013 car and another older car, both had rigs now..and I'm driving a beater, lol, go figure...so, I had had enough and told them move or else...many other little annoyances happened, like me findng empty drug pills,I found out it was extacy later...but having that stuff in my house was not acceptable...so, I decided I will call them and say your belongings were on the driveway, BIG MISTAKE...so, she called the police on me for removing her things, I had to allow her back in the house and well, they moved out 2 weeks later...to her grandma's apartment to beat all LOL....guess grandma forgave her, unreal....BUT, in the interim the Girlfriend turned my son against me...I have tried now for months to fix it, saying I love you son...but I don't like her...and why can't we talk, I am your mom I love you ...I just want whats best for you....and oh I forgot to mention she put in a suit against me with the police...saying I put liquid in her car, untrue...and no witness...my son was washing his car next to hers and her window was down, KIDS!!!! First of all, her car is not her car,,,,my son bought it and its worth WAS like 500 til she drove it and blew the head gasket, but why on earth would I put anything in her seat...she said it was WATER, hmm...with my son washing his car next to hers I wonder how water got in her seat?! And my son sides with her THINKING I put liquid in HIS car, however shes pretty dumb I think since she filed the suit against me and the cars not in her name...go figure... So, I am dealing with that however, its difficult for me to forgive her now with that going on...I had to get an attorney, which is costing me in order to have a malicious mischief off my record, a very squeaky clean record until she did this..but no witness's of the alleged crime LOL and my attorney is laughing all the way to the bank...anyway, back to my son...so, he wont speak to me really UNLESS I say I am sorry to his GF, respect her and treat her like a lil princess...all the while ....she sits there smugly and has her claws into my son....its broken my heart...but, I can't bow down to her....it's not in my being to kiss A** to anyone, let a lone a lying, conniving, nasty person like her....Please help me figure this out...it tears me up daily because I miss my 20 yr old son so much....I will do what's right, just need to know how to proceed...thank you for any advise, I really appreciate it.