My babies' daddy and our relationship problems

Stacey - posted on 04/09/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son has learned to call me F***ked in the head and Psycho B***h and he also say You B**** when I tell him no he can't do or have something and this is all the things his father says to me.

is there any advice because i would love to be with the father because i feel i loved him since i was in highschool i know im only 20 but it was the beginning of highschool. Any ways my mom is tellin me to ditch him but i feel i just cant?..is there any advicd on what i should or could possibly do?

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Lysandra Lea - posted on 04/10/2009

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he is verbally abusing you and you and your kids don't deserve that. my advice would be to maybe try counselling just to give it one last push but you should probably leave him. he would obviously be happier without you if he is calling you bad names like that and teaching your son bad things. and you would be happier without him calling you those names and having your son call you those names. good luck though girl its hard no matter what you end up doing!

Amie - posted on 04/10/2009

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Sounds a lot like my ex. About the only difference is my kids never ever repeated anything he said. He treated them (well my girl, I was pregnant with my son when I said enough and left) as crappily he did me. Which was something I found out only after I left. Really made me mad to find it out too. One of my friends didn't want to "interfere" so she never said anything until I was already gone. Almost kicked her! If I had known what I know now I never would have stayed that long. The only good thing that has come from that relationship is my children. That being said....
My mom & dad were the same way. They tried for years to get me to leave. I didn't want to believe what they were telling me so I ignored them. Told them I loved him and we had a family together so I was staying. Ha. He started cheating on me, alongside the verbal abuse, what pushed me over the edge was when he kicked it up even more and actually hit me. I was willing to put up with a lot and already had but that was it. I even got a restraining order and had him charged.
So while you think things may not escalate to how bad mine got to, there is the possibility that it could. I honestly never thought he'd raise a hand to me.. I thought wrong!
My hubby that I'm with now... he truly is the best man I've ever met. We fit together perfectly, he treats me with respect and love as he does our kids. My two oldest we are working on him adopting them as well but they still call him Dad and he is their Dad. My ex went ballistic when I found someone better and stopped coming to see the kids or even phoning to check up on them. Now the only time I hear from him is about every 6-8 months to see if I'm still getting married. He's holding out hope I won't and go back to him. My butt... I will NEVER let anyone have that kind of control over me again.

Sara - posted on 04/10/2009

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Don't ever put up with a man calling you names, it's abusive. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but if he truly loved you, he wouldn't talk to you like that. He's not the only man in the world sweetie. You and your son deserve better. Plus, is this how you want your son to treat women when he is older? Because if he sees his father treating you like that, that is exactly how he will be. Leaving will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but I would bet money on the fact that when you look back in X amount of years, you'll be glad to you did it. Good luck!

Catherine - posted on 04/10/2009

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Get out of there for the sake of your son, if you stay and this continues then your son will grow up thinking that it is ok to treat females like crap.

Vicky - posted on 04/10/2009

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You need to get out of there. When my child was born, my then partner started feeling jealous. That was when the verbal abuse started. It moved quickly from that and he started hitting me. If you don't get out now then i could get worse. I thought i loved my ex partner but i realised when my son was 6 months old that he was going to end up hurting him. After he moved out i realised i didn't love him really. i was just telling myself that to explain things. Now im happy with a new partner and my son is so happy. So please. Think about how your children will grow up listening to those things. They will grow up to be like their dad. is that what you want. Get out if not for the sake of you but for your children.

Gail - posted on 04/10/2009

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a child is better off with one happy parent than two who hate the sight of each other

Gail - posted on 04/10/2009

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Quoting Stacey:

My babies' daddy and our relationship problems

My son has learned to call me F***ked in the head and Psycho B***h and he also say You B**** when I tell him no he can't do or have something and this is all the things his father says to me.
is there any advice because i would love to be with the father because i feel i loved him since i was in highschool i know im only 20 but it was the beginning of highschool. Any ways my mom is tellin me to ditch him but i feel i just cant?..is there any advicd on what i should or could possibly do?



you ned to sit back and think what do want your son to be as you sit and accept what you think is right you are teaching him to accept . your son is the absolute as to what you thought you would be. teach him to be as you would want to be treated. not as you think is accepted.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Libby - posted on 04/10/2009

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If you want your child to grow up and treat his girlfriend or spouse that way then stay.  What you are experiencing is not normal.  I have been with my husband since I was a freshman in highschool and he doesn't treat me that way.  Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to stay.  What is he providing for you that you feel that you can't leave?  Does he have lots of money?  Is he great in bed?  What is it??  There has to be something you're getting out of it if you're willing to put up with verbal abuse.  And when you figure out what it is, then I want you to realize that nothing is worth putting up with that.  And if he is ok with abusing you verbally, one day he might be ok with abusing you physically. 

MaryJo - posted on 04/09/2009

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You need to get away from this guy. i know you love him but he can't love you. noone that loves you would talk to you like that. You need to get rid of him for you r children. you don't want them to think it is ok to talk to someone like that. especially mommy. he is abusing you verbally get out before it gets physical

Kristeen - posted on 04/09/2009

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Oh sweetheart, NO! He doesn't respect you, & he is teaching your precious little boy to disrespect you too.



I know you think you love him, but he is not behaving as though he loves you. If' you have talked to him about this, & he's still doing it, You need to love yourself & respect yourself enough to move on from him. I know it will be hard, & it will hurt, but it will be better for you in the long run.



Listen to your mum, she has obviously witnessed this relationship over the years, & she loves you, she is not going to suggest something that isn't in your (& yours son's) best interests.



Good luck & remember your mum is there to help & support you, & so will we if only with our words, & positive thoughts.

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2009

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I agree with Jessica. His verbal attacks are definitely a form of abuse. You may be in love with the concept of having the perfect family. You have to start by believing that you deserve so much more than what he's giving you. Know your worth. He has no respect for you. I'm sure when everything was peaches-n-cream in the beginning, you didn't envision your future with him to be like this. Your ~true~ soulmate will come along, but you have to make room for him by getting rid of the loser. Good Luck to you.



PS -Tell your kids that you're going to wash their mouths out with soap if they continue to talk to you like that. Go as far as getting the soap and holding it to their mouths!! ;0)

User - posted on 04/09/2009

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Sweetie-get away from him. You and your kids deserve more then that. Trust me, I know.Your kids are going to grow up thinking that's OK to treat someone like that. If you don't do it for your self, do it for your kids. Its a form of abuse and you don't want to be a cause of your children also being a victim.

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