My Babies father doesn't want me

Laura - posted on 08/06/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Let me apologize in advance for this being such a long post...
I met my babies father over a year ago, we met on an online dating site and I lived an hour away. The first night we met, we had drinks and everything seemed wonderful, but after that night I didn't hear from him for 8 months. One day he randomly messaged and I had just moved into the same city he was living in, he seemed excited. We made plans to have dinner and everything was fine only he didn't try to kiss me, so I sucked it up as we are just friends. A few months go by of us hanging out and our relationship turned intimate, the moment he did he started not wanting to spend time with me. I already had feelings for him, on my birthday we celebrated and I posted photos on Facebook he immediately in tagged himself using the excuse he didn't want his mom asking questions (he is 40), a couple days past and I find out I'm pregnant! By this time we had already broken up, when I Callao tell him.. He says no way I could be pregnant.. I go to his house and take 8 pregnancy test all positive. Then he claims it couldn't be his, on my first appointment they said conception was April 19, the first night he and I slept together. I was heartbroken, I moved to this city for work, I have no family, nothing here. So I have went back and forth should I stay and hope he will come around. There have been nights I've gotten angry and text him terrible messages and his only reply has been "I don't care about you"! Last week he did come to the OB appointment and saw the ultra sound and asked for a few copies, I was excited. I ran out had two of the photos mounted, his reply well you cut the top off I wanted to see the entire photo. I'm so devastated, my body is changing, (im now 17 weeks) I've told no one I pregnant, and each night he haunts me in my dreams.. All I do is cry because I don't want this child to grow up without a father. I'm sorry I went into so much detail but please can anyone tell me what I should do??? I'm alone and so scared.

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Michelle - posted on 08/06/2016

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You can't make someone want to be with you so if he isn't around then you need to start thinking about supporting this baby on your own.
You can't go back and change things so I won't even say a thing about what got you into this mess.
You need to decide that if you can afford to support your child, pay for daycare and work in the new city or if you will be able to do it better back at home. An hour isn't very far to travel (where I live it takes longer than that to get from 1 side to the other). You will also need to get custody, visitation and child support sorted out as soon as the baby is born. Just because you aren't together doesn't mean your child will grow up without a Father, that's up to you to make sure there is a relationship between them.

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Laura - posted on 08/07/2016

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I'm not going too... I'm learning to accept that. Thank you, I do appreciate you.

Michelle - posted on 08/07/2016

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You can't make him want to be a Father either.
Once the baby is born get custody, visitation and child support sorted out through the courts and let him decide what involvement he wants. It will probably change over the years as well so make sure you update the court orders to suit.

Laura - posted on 08/07/2016

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Sadly I don't think he truly wants this baby, as for me.. I'm financially capable of taking care of this child without my ex.. Whether he is with me or not, I just hope he will be willing to play some role in his life. I guess time will tell. Thank you Michelle for your reply.

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