My baby's Daddy only want 50/50 custody out of spite

Melissa - posted on 12/15/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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This may be a very long story, but the whole story is needed so you all can understand my situation.
My baby's father and I were never married nor were we dating when the pregnancy happened. I had an IUD and he used protection, yet I still ended up getting pregnant. When I told him of the pregnancy he asked me to get an abortion. His excuse was that he was not financially able to raise a child. He went to the first doctor's appointment, but after that never came to any of the others. He didn't seem to want to be involved till, his friend (who can't have a biological child of her own with her husband, who isn't my baby's daddy) tried to have him talk me into putting my baby up for adoption. I refused to put the child up for adoption. (I was raised with: if you are old enough to have sex, then you are old enough to deal with anything that comes from it.). It wasn't till he was about to be deployed overseas, that he actually started to want to be involved. When I gave birth to my daughter, the military didn't allow him to leave base to see her cause we were not married. While he was deployed he tried to tell me that this married couple who he is friends with, were to share custody of our child on his behalf. I never did share custody of my child with the married couple, due to the fact that I knew my states child custody laws. Over his deployment, this married couple and I did not get along. They tried to take my child to events that the baby daddy wanted our child to go to. Also the wife of the married couple tried to tell me how I was suppose to raise my child. The married couple even tried to tell me that I was not following what the baby daddy wanted for the child. When baby daddy finally came back from his deployment, he started to mentally, emotionally, and on occasion verbally abuse me infront of the married couple and my child. I pointed this out and accused him for behaving this way due to me "screwing up his life". He didn't respond to my accusation. However, now he is trying to get 50/50 custody of our child, and has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me or his blood family. He only wants our child to know of his married friends as family. He has tried to get me to cut ties with his family and my own family, which I will not do. His family has accepted me as part of their own, and my family has accepted him as part of the family. I have watch him interact with our child, and what I have seen frustrates the hell out of me. he will play with our child, then get bored and pass the child off to the married couple to play with. I have seen him treat a dog better than he has treated his child. The only thing I can come up with is that he truly isn't interested in the child, and that the reason he is fighting for custody is for the married couple to "raise the child for him".
We have a court date for when we go before a judge on custody. In Wisconsin state law, I have full custody of the child until a court order states otherwise. However, the baby daddy is demanding 50/50 and is the one who started the court documents for custody.
Any help here would be nice.

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Michelle - posted on 12/16/2012

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Based on his job I would think that 50-50 will not work or be viable. What I would do is go in and offer him every other weekend but I would stipulate that the married couple is not to be involved in the raising of your child that you are ok sharing the child with the father and his family but not with these people who are not family. Also stipulate that they are not to have any input in how you are raising the child. If he has to do it on his own he will probably lose interest. Also I would ask for shorter visits and no overnights until the child is at least 4.

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