My baby's father was never around, does he have rights to take her?

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Jodi - posted on 12/03/2015

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"But he has completely disagree with my request to having a third party with us when he comes over. "

So don't tell him you have someone with you until he gets there.

"Now he said he is taking me to court and try and get our daughter from me."

No, he isn't. He is taking you to court to get time with his daughter WITHOUT you around. That's a totally different thing. He has a right to have time alone with her.

"He is a very difficult man, me, my family and his family don't understand why he his refusing a third party/"

Because he has a right to bond with his child without others around. That doesn't make him difficult. That makes him like any other parent in the world.

Until you have been to court you don't GET to dictate the rules. Just get a lawyer and get a court order.

Sarah - posted on 12/03/2015

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In order to have documentation of your offers and his responses; try to communicate via text or email and keep all of his voicemail messages. The more documentation you have of your offers and his refusals will demonstrate to the court that you've been willing.

Dove - posted on 12/02/2015

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You go to court... and get custody and visitation orders... and then you both abide by them.

Raye - posted on 12/02/2015

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The other ladies are correct. The father does have rights to see his child, and spend time alone with her. Furthermore, the child has rights to form a relationship with both parents. Each parent has equal rights to the child unless there are court orders that specify a different arrangement. You should go to court and get custody established for yourself and visitation established for the father. Then you need to let him have his time without calling, disrupting, or dictating where he takes her or who he's with. You may not like what he did to you, and that's completely understandable. But you have a child together, and need to work out how to co-parent. That doesn't mean you have to get back together. That means you have to communicate about the child and act in the child's best interests. If you keep that child away from him, and he takes it to court, you could end up losing custody and having the child placed with him permanently. It may feel right to limit his interaction with her, but it's illegal.

Dove - posted on 12/01/2015

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Of course, that doesn't mean you have to hand her over to him... but you need to go to court as soon as possible and get everything legal. It is BEST if the two of you can work out a visitation agreement and have it signed by a judge, but if you can not agree you will have to leave it to a judge to determine.

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Jodi - posted on 12/08/2015

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On the offchance the OP is still reading this thread......

"So there is no way that I am going to agree for him to be alone with me and our daughter let alone him alone with our daughter at this stage."

Well, honey, that's not going to be your choice. He is taking you to court. If the court grants him that visitation without you, then you WON'T have a choice.You can tell me what a horrible person he is all you like, that isn't going to change. And if you have been denying him access....then that could be a problem for you. I hope you have a lawyer. Take your evidence to your lawyer and go from there. But unless your evidence demonstrates he is likely to harm the child, then it really won't matter.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/08/2015

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Oh, I see that you're a bit upset with the answers you've been given, since your entire post has been altered and deleted...but the bottom line, honey is it is NOT ABOUT YOU, NOR WHAT YOU WANT!

It is about your child, the rights that your CHILD has, and what a legal representative decides. If the courts decide that your ex gets unsupervised custody/visitation, YOU don't get to go against that and decide that you know what's "best".

Try to be an adult. Try to work WITH the system, instead of against it. You'll be much better off in the end.

Raye - posted on 12/03/2015

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I agree with Jodi. So what if he doesn't want a third party there with you when he picks up the child. He cannot dictate who is at your house. Don't tell him anyone will be there, but you can have someone there if it makes you feel better. If he throws a fit when he gets there, tell him he came to pick up his daughter, she's ready for her visit, he can go have his time with her or not... it's his choice. Neither you nor the third party should demand to go along on his visit, and you should not call him during that time unless it's an emergency. By making it possible for him to pick her up and spend time with her on his own, you're doing the right thing. As we've said, document all you do to grant him access to the child, and document when he refuses or changes plans with no notice.

He does have a right to go to court and get this all straightened out. And you shouldn't feel threatened by it. You should also want to go to court to get the agreement finalized so you both have a clear understanding of your rights, have a set schedule, and (hopefully) stop the fighting.

Dove - posted on 12/03/2015

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He might be required supervised visitations initially, but you're going to want to prepare yourself for that not to happen.

I was lucky that my son had his big sisters w/ him because at a year and a half I had to hand him over for visitations w/ a man that he hadn't seen a single time since he was 7 months old... the first visitation my son screamed for 45 minutes straight (even w/ his sisters there and even w/ bribes of ice cream) until my ex could not take it anymore and brought him home. His next visitation the next day he was ok the entire 3 hours, but VERY clingy at home.

What you WANT to happen and what you feel are best for your daughter... is not necessarily what WILL happen. Good luck!

Raye - posted on 12/03/2015

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If you know when he's coming over to pick up the child (which you should if you have a visitation agreement), then nothing is stopping you from asking a friend or family member to be there with you when he comes by. If you don't know when he's coming over, then you need to work on a schedule with him. Until there is an agreement, if he shows up unannounced at your home, call the police to remove him from the property. If he wants you to bring the child to him and you're not comfortable going to his place, choose a public place (like McDonald's) for the exchange. Its tough shit if he doesn't like that arrangement, as you are allowed to protect yourself as long as you are making the child available to him. Document everything you are doing to come to an agreement, and how he has disregarded any reasonable offers you've made, and show that to the court. You do have to make the child available to him, and he can have his visitation with the child without you being with them.

Dove - posted on 12/01/2015

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If he has proof of paternity and you do not have court orders for custody and visitation... absolutely he has the right to take his daughter and even not give her back. IF you have court orders for custody and visitation then he only has the right to access that was detailed by the courts.

Sarah - posted on 12/01/2015

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Yes he absolutely does have rights. It does not matter that he is not on the BC, there is a DNA test that proves his paternity, so the document should be amended anyway. Unless you can prove he is a danger to her he has as much right to parent as you do, and if you withhold the child from him you could lose her on grounds of parental alienation. Now, I am not saying to hand your one year old over to a man she does not know but I do think you should try to mediate an arrangement before he takes you to court. Getting back together for the sake of raising her together does not seem practical at this time. If the two of you can sit down with a third party mediator and come to an agreement regarding visitation or shared custody, it will benefit all of you in the long run.

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