My baby's sperm donor wants visitation rights. Can I get his rights limited & supervised?

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Lacye - posted on 12/19/2012

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Since this is basically the same question as your other post (minus the info that you have a husband, who's name you have put on the birth certificate) I'm going to answer this twice for you.

Few questions here so bear with me:

1. Why do you call the father of your child a "sperm donor"? Is it because he doesn't want to be involved with his child in any way, or is it because you just don't like him any more?

2. You are married, yet your husband is not the father. So you either cheated on your husband (ew) or you were separated from him and got together with the actual father of your child (still ew) OR you just recently got married to this guy after becoming pregnant with this other man's child. Which is it? Curious because I like to know the type of people I'm giving advice to.

Either way around it, you have obviously made some mistakes (after all, you are just human); however, the FATHER of your child has every right to get to know his own child, just as the child has every right to get to know his/her father. Just because you are resentful towards the father does not give you the right to take this baby away from him. That is what we call Parental Alienation and yes you can get into trouble for it in the court of law (possibly losing custody of your child). It would be better in the long run to have your husband's name removed from the birth certificate and have the FATHER'S name put on there.

OH and by not reporting to the court system that your husband is not the actual father, you can get into trouble for that as well. It's this little thing called fraud. That's a federal offense the last time I checked.

Just to add onto this one a little bit, unless you can prove the FATHER of your child is a physical threat to your child (from what I can see that's a big no), then no, you can't have his rights limited or supervised. You have to have proof that he is a danger to the child.

Dove - posted on 12/19/2012

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Sperm donors are anonymous, so how did he find out it was his sperm that was used?

I'm thinking you mean you just don't want this guy that you chose to have sex with to have any rights to his own child though.... and in that case, it depends on what evidence you have against him to prove that unsupervised access to his child would be putting the child in danger. If you have hard proof.... probably. If all you have is your word that he sucks.... nope.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/19/2012

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Are you saying that you had unprotected sex with someone and now you don't want them to have a part in the child that they helped create? Because an actual sperm donor would be anonymous, and wouldn't be seeking parental rights.

If you had unprotected sex with someone, and a baby resulted, then the other party DOES have parental rights, and has the right to pursue visitation and possibly custody. If they were such a stellar personality that you don't want them to have access to the child, then you shouldn't have had sex with them in the first place.

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Holly - posted on 12/19/2012

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how did he find out his sperm was used? usually sperm donor's don't get notified every time someone uses their sperm...

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