MY BABYS 8WEEKS OLDS FATHER AND GRANDPARENTS HAVE REJECTED HER

Judith - posted on 08/30/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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MY 8WEEK OLD BABYS FATHER LEFT ME WHEN I WAS 5WEEKS PREGNANT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER TO SEE HIS PARENTS ( grandparents) BUT WHEN I TOOK HER SHE WAS REJECTED

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User - posted on 02/12/2012

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Im in the same boat.. At first they were all about the baby now everytime we try to go see them they always have a reason for us not to come it make me mad and sad...

i cant understand how they dont wanna see him=(

Kizzie - posted on 09/03/2009

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It happens more often than you can imagine. Thank goodness women was created to be STRONG. Your priority @ now is ur lil princess. Since no one else want to participate in her royal upbringing take ALL the credit and do it yourself. All you need is the Lord and he will opens doors for you that you didn't expect to open.
BE STRONG AND BLESSED!

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Amy - posted on 09/03/2009

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I know right now you feel bad for your daughter, but she doesn't know anything different. So as she grows and you bond with her try not to say negative things about him or his family just because you are hurt. Children are extremely perceptive and they figure things out for themselves. When she is older and asks questions just state the facts and not your opinions(which is very difficult). This is truly their problem, not yours. You did the right thing by giving them the opportunity and leaving the ball in their court. If in the future they do come around don't use her as a weapon against them because of your hurt. Always remember that it may be best for her to know them when they are ready and let them answer those hard questions she fires at them when she's 13. Then you will be there as her soft place to fall. Then her opinion of them will be formed by her own experiences and not from what she's heard her entire life.

Your opinion is for your girlfriends to dish on and your family, they are there to support you. You are there to support her and right now and for a very very long time YOU are her world. There is nothing that she will need for years to come that you can't provide for her.

Hug, kiss, and hold her every chance you get right now. These first few months are crucial to bonding. If you are stressed, she will feel the stress, too. Babies are so intuitive even at just a few weeks old.

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My goddaughters Dad and Grandparents (on his side) did the same thing. If she ever asks her Mum about her family she explains that family isnt really decided by blood but by those who love you, support you and protect you. By that definition she actually a few sets of grandparents and dozens of Aunts and Uncles and now that my little girl has arrived a sister! She couldnt be happier with that family and she has never been exposed to the nastiness of his side of the family :)

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2009

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Just remember that it is THEIR loss. altho we have no control over other people and their thoughts and actions, someday they will regret their decision and may possibly want to know her or be a part of her life and she may not want anything to do with them, AND they will not be able to get back the years that they missed.



My ex is very selfish and when we divorced he did not spend hardly any time with our 3 kids.. at the time they were 7, 4 and 8mo. That went on for nearly 4 years he was not consistant about visiting or when he saw them it was for an hour and if he took them for longer it was nothing productive or fun for them. My youngest child, my daughter for a VERY long time us to call him by his 1st name--she didnt KNOW he was her dad! NONE the less, he is NOW attempting to have a relationship with them (only because his current wife is pushing it) but they do not go on a regular basis and will stay home or go someplace else if the offer is better. He is not involved in school, or sports activities etc... so they have learned to NOT rely or count on him. It make's me sad because I wanted a better father for them, and wanted them to know the love and support from BOTH a mom/dad, but I have done the best that I can do for them and I am there to support them and give them everything that they want and need. AND I do not regret my decisions or choices, the kids and I are much better off on our own and they are actually really good kids despite me being mom and dad!!!!! My kids are now 16, 12 and 9yo!



Hang in there and gather up all the strength you can, you CAN do it, she will see what you do for her, and how you are there for her and support her and if you have friends and family that will support and love her, she will not even realize that she is missing anything or anyone.



Show her that she can be a strong, independant woman some day and that the love and support we want and need come's from the people that WE choose to be a part of our lives... as the saying goes.. YOU can't pick your family, YOU can pick your friends and more often than NOT they are YOUR true family and will be there for you in good times and bad without judgement!



Good luck and best wish's.. YOU will be an amazing mom and dad!!!!!!!!!!

Michele - posted on 08/30/2009

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Keep your friends close. A lot of times you will find they are a better family. This has been the case for me with my boys. Don't worry it will be their loss. Trying to hard can cause unneeded stress in your life, after all you have the best gift life can give! Take care and make your family your own!!

Maria - posted on 08/30/2009

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im so sorry to hear it hun, best bet is chin up and carry on as normal and forget all about it until she is older and asks just dont dwell on what could of been's and live for the moment all that matters is that she has her loving mother hope this is some sort of help for yourself x

Sharon - posted on 08/30/2009

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I fail to see why you're upset? Do you need them? I doubt it. Especially if they're as nasty as you've portrayed here. She certainly doesn't need them.



Why did you take her there? Did they ask to see her? Don't set yourself up for this crap. I'm sure you had some sort of sign they weren't interested in being a parent or grandparents.



I hope you left his name off the birth certificate. Otherwise your child will be forced to spend time with those venomous people and all to her detriment.



You don't need them. She surely doesn't need them. Please put it out of your head and move on.

Simone - posted on 08/30/2009

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That is very sad and most of all their loss! Be the best Mommy and Daddy you can be for her. He will come around and when he does don't turn your back on him like he did to you be the bigger person and invite him in..when your daughter gets older and understands she will see for herself the kind of man he really is.

Renee - posted on 08/30/2009

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My daughter's father and I broke up when I was 6 wks pregnant.He has very little to do with her and no real bond.She doesn't know him from adams house cat.That's his loss.His family is more bonded than He is(she adores his brother).The come everynow and then to see her but not enough for real bonds.I say again their loss.Love your daughter and teach her to be a strong woman.Surround her with people who love and support her family is what you make it.My daughter's daddy is not her bio dad but he's her daddy.i might understand that more because my first child is adopted.Always remember it'd THEIR LOSS no fault of you or her.

Jeannie - posted on 08/30/2009

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honey that is so sad. by the picture i see in front of me . she is a beautiful baby. honey u just be proud and hold ure head up. they are the ones losing out. they may regret it down the line who knows. i dont know how anyone could reject their grandchild i know i couldnt even it i tried. i have 11 grandchildren and love every one of them. all i can say is they are being asses(pardon my talk). just dote all ure love and attention on her. how r ure parents w/ the baby. my 2 oldest grandboys, their dads did the same thing.they are 12yrs.and 7yrs. sometimes its hard for them, u know not having their dads in their lives, but my husband steps up to the plate for them. so far their turning out to be kids. just hang in there. if u need to chat just leave a line and ill answer as soon as i can. good luck sweetie.

Esmeralda - posted on 08/30/2009

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awe,im sorry! :(



this is a time when you have to be strong for your daughter.

if they want to miss out on their granddaughters life,then thats THEIR loss.

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