My BD gave me chlamydia while pregnant. Advice?

Kylann - posted on 08/23/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Me and my child's father have been going though some things. We were together 2 years before I became pregnant. It was really hard for him to stay faithful during our relationship so I decide to leave our relationship at 27 weeks. I am now 32 weeks pregnant and this pregnancy has been one of the hardest things I have been through in life... I had surgery when I was 17 weeks pregnant to get a 20x22 cm ovarian cyst removed, with the fear that the baby might not make it. He was not there for the surgery and has not been present to ONE doctors apponitment throughout my entire pregnacy (I have literally had over 50 appointments and at min. 25 ultrasounds due to being such an high risk patient having to have surgery during my pregnancy).

On my birthday about 3 weeks ago I had an culture exam and was informed that I have chlamydia. When I called him to tell him he gave me chlamydia while pregnant with his child, the first thing he said was, "wow I can't believe I have chlamydia, can u ask the dr for some extra pills for me?" I have not heard from him since. Ladies, I have cried so much.. I am a 20 yr old collage student and never in a million years thought that this would be my life, in a situation with a man like this. (He is 22 yrs old)

He has no job, no money( When he does get money he does not by baby stuff, & spends it all on himself &/ or alcohol), no car,no license, and is alcoholic. He has 2 other children (2.5 yr old , and a 1.5 year old) he has always told me and everyone else, including his family that the mother of the children keeps him away from the kids.( Stupid of me to ever believe such a thing but i did). The last time I heard from his is when I told him he gave me chlamydia. Now he has told his family that I am keeping him from his child and i have not heard from any of them as well.

I guess my question is, did he really ever care about our baby the way he said he did?
He has told everyone how much he can't wait for our daughter to be here and for him to be a dad because he didn't get to be a dad with his first 2 but has not came to any appointments, no surgery nor brought anything.
Did he ever really care about me?
I have moved & plan to change my number soon. Am I wrong for moving on with my life? I loved him so much & never thought things would be like this.. especially for our daughter.

I have come to the conclusion that he will not be on the birth certificate nor will she have his last name because he has done absolutely nothing for her... what is you opinion on this?

During our relationship I was never consider with me becoming pregnant because the way he talked about his first 2 children i knew he would make an excellent father to our child one day.. but in the end I was wrong and it really kills me that he has told everyone that the mother of his 2 kids keeps him from them and now he is telling everyone the same about me. I have done soooooo much for this man during our relationship i am disgusted with myself that I gave so much for someone who never gave the same effort back.
should I call him when the baby is born to let him know his child is here... or is it even worth my time?

Ladies I would really appreciate if you you'll comment and give your option on my situation. Please don't be afraid or hesitate to say how you feel. I am now 20 yrs old, I have been though so much with this pregnancy and relationship and just need some sort of comfort, guidence, tips & advice of how i should handle things.
Thank You!


Michelle - posted on 08/23/2016




Leaving him off the birth certificate won't change the fact that he is the Father. He can petition the courts for a DNA to be put on the birth certificate so you may as well put him on there. In regards to your child's last name, you can name her whatever you want.
I suggest that as soon as your child is born you go to court and get custody, visitation and child support sorted out.
He is the Father and keeping them apart is only harming the child in the long run. You need to make sure that you aren't the one keeping his child from him as that could go against you in court.
Get yourself a lawyer and go from there.

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