my beautiful daughter

Shellaneka - posted on 10/10/2015 ( 53 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 year old. She is honest enough to tell me that she has a boyfriend but I can't come to my senses about it. Her school work is good and behaviour is good so I would like to know how to approach this. I don't want her to start hiding things from me! What should I do ?

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Sarah - posted on 10/17/2015

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@Dove, I have a daughter who is 16 now and our rule was "no dating until 16" She started seeing a great boy shortly before her birthday. Turned out she felt like she was too busy with sports and school to have "boyfriend". They still see each other as he is best buds with my oldest son, but are not in a relationship
I am not worried for you my friend, I think your girls will act much like mine. Molly, my daughter, woke me the night of her first "real" kiss! I think because we have always talked about how special these these milestones are she knew I'd be happy for her! You have that with your girls too. I know you do! As much as you ram home safety, safety, safety ...you are open to the special parts too.
Molly came into my room and woke me saying "I need to tell you something". For about 30 seconds I was terrified she'd been raped! Then I went with her to her room and she told me, "Derek kissed me, like really kissed me" I think she came to me because I always left that door open and I also told her she'd know what to do. That is one of my best memories, and one you are gonna share with your girls soon!
I guess the message I send is the better your communication is and the more open you are with your kids the better the outcome.

Shallaneka: Rejoice in your daughter's honesty, keep talking about safe sex, encourage her to choose safe partners and to never be afraid to say no to what she not ok with doing! Hang in there! You are doing the right thing IMO! Always tell you child there is nothing they can do that will make you love them any less, ever!

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Mom you have raised a good girl. If she kept secrets or was failing in her behavior or grades then I would be concerned but she is not by your own admission doing those things. It is Okay and time to start trusting your daughter and your own abilities as a parent. Let go of some of those worries. There is no such thing as the "Perfect" parent! We all do the best we can and it sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job! I have three grown sons of my own who have made great lives for their wives and children and Boy did I mess things up in some respects but my children know that no matter what I love them. I think you have that down pat with your daughter. Keep up the good work and relax. There is nothing wrong with boundries and in letting go. ;)

Megan - posted on 02/01/2016

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What are you most worried about? Write down your fears then let your daughter know how happy you are for her yet you are worried that ... gently let her know your concerns... Get to know the boyfriend...
Have you read the book, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802473...
I highly recommend it to every parent raising a teen... it made such a difference in understanding how to react to my youngest ... i was handling him all wrong
Anyway try to relax and understand your fears. and pray pray pray!

Dove - posted on 10/10/2015

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What's wrong w/ a 16 year old having a boyfriend? Just keep the lines of communication open and trust that you have raised a responsible young lady.

You can certainly set some limits surrounding her dating habits (date in public... check in w/ you... etc...), but if you trust your daughter and she is keeping up w/ her studies and continues to be respectful... it's time to let go a little.

Now remind me that I've said all this when MY daughters turn 16 in another 2 years... lol

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Leonora - posted on 11/20/2016

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Happy Birthday to my dimples, Kaitlyn. Hope you have a wonderful day my baby girl. Granny loves you to the moon and back πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŽ‚πŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸ¦πŸ¦πŸ¦πŸ¦

Eva - posted on 09/13/2016

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I can't overstate how important and crucial it is to keep the lines of communication open and honest with her NO MATTER WHAT. I know the topic is uncomfortable I completely get it as I am the mother of an almost 15 year old who shared with me about a boy who is interested in her and plays football for their HS and is really smart and charming and polite and according to my daughter CUTE. A degree in Child Psychology and Development taught me that many studies have concluded that teen pregnancy is a result of parents who DO NOT and WILL NOT and REFUSE to have open, honest, and hard discussions about sex, protection, kissing, fondling, and lots of other stuff. If curiosity killed the CAT then NOT having these discussions openly and with trust can cause bad outcomes. My daughter's grades are stellar, she is a great athlete, takes honors classes, and is a girl scout. It's better to let her feel she can come to you now that way down-the-line she will continue to turn to you during those difficult moments in her life as a young woman.

Candace - posted on 08/25/2016

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Just be calm with her if she feels she cant open up to you then she will start to hide things from you and you won't know when & if she has sex she has to be able to have a friend in you so be mom but her bestfriend as well if that makes any since

Sherry - posted on 08/17/2016

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I have been in a similar situation recently with my son. I felt when he told me he was really watching my face for my reaction. I lovingly looked at him and said wow that is great! I did not ask any questions at that time, even though my heart was breaking and my mind was racing. I just looked at him like "I understand". Now I ask little questions here and there when no one is around and it is just me and him. Just get to know questions like " How is Sara Doing?" or "Does Sara have any brothers or Sisters?" I would really like to have my son be comfortable talking to me about her without the feeling of judgement or worry that I will have an Opinion. I know when he needs my advice he will ask me and in the mean time I am just trying to get a feeling for his comfort level discussing things with me. Mainly I just bring it up when no one is around, especially his siblings, to prevent the constant torture. I guess the next step would be to meet her, but I would love to do this without the pressure of siblings around. Love at this age does not last long so we will see if it gets that far! lol

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/18/2015

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Dove, when yours reach this age, they'll be fine! They've got a pretty level headed mama looking out for them!

Raye - posted on 10/28/2015

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Sarah E., "GoodFriend" is either a troll, a child, or mentally/technologically challenged. They have made several posts that don't make sense.

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2015

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@Good Friend I do not understand you post. Do you mean a good boy at 16 will stick around to marry your child?

Good - posted on 10/25/2015

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First you get a information that is that boy good are bad.because that boy is good you will do marrie with your daughter.ones a control in your daughter she will be drop with you

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