My best friend's 4yo son hit my 3yo daughter

Lisa - posted on 08/14/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

16

3

2

My friend allows her son to hit herself without consequences. He is in general out of control screaming into the wee hours, up late, jumping all over the apartment, running out the door & down the stairs unsupervised. She blames his behaviors on her being only 25yo and her not controlling his behaviors earlier. Also, her boyfriend (the dad) allows the boy to do whatever he wants because it's easier. What do I do to keep the friendship without my daughter getting hurt?

6 Comments

View replies by

Lisa - posted on 08/21/2012

16

3

2

Just to add this friend of mine wasn't raised with much structure and I'm almost ten years older than she is. She has been a good friend and makes sure I eat, and in general am taking care of myself. She will help with household chores when she sees they are getting backed up since my husband past away in May only three days after our daughter's birthday. Tonight, she has invited us over for spaghetti dinner. Last night I told her son we could come over if they could play nicely together and keep their hands on their own bodies. He does much better with direct instructions and I'm very patient so I will keep trying. I'll keep implementing immediate consequences like if he does hit or if she misbehaves we leave right then as a result... Thank you moms for all of your feedback it's been very helpful. Xx

Gale - posted on 08/15/2012

122

2

30

Lol @ Lacye Byars, "brat, but don't say brat" "monster, but don't say monster" in other words say what your thinking but a clean up verson of it lol.

Amanda - posted on 08/14/2012

1,677

13

310

Age has nothing to do with it.
No matter what your age no child should be allowed to get away with hitting anyone.

Her child is only 4, it's not too late to change the way she parents or the behaviour of her son.

If she is a good friend of yours, I would sit her down and talk about it with her. Maybe she just needs help and a few pointers in the right direction. If thats the case maybe you could work with her to help her son.

Lacye - posted on 08/14/2012

889

0

221

I'm 27 years old and I'll be damned if my kid dares to put her hands on me! That leads into worse behavior later on in life! So her being 25 hasn't got shit to do with her lazy parenting.

As for the friendship, tell her how you feel. If she can't accept that you don't want her brat (don't say brat) slapping around your child, then she sucks ass as a friend as well as a parent. You have to think of your child first and foremost and she can suck it up and start dealing with the monster (don't say monster either) that she created!

Ok. My hormonal rant is done.

S. - posted on 08/14/2012

1,182

9

312

At least she's honest and is blaming herself although age has nothing to do with bad parenting iv known 16 year olds make fantasic mothers and I was 19 myself, I'd only see her without the kids if possible, if not tell her straight that she can't let him hit her all children can hit but as long as their told off and learn its bad he shoud stop. alway watch them whilst playing together.

Dove - posted on 08/14/2012

11,620

0

1348

You don't. If she does nothing when he hits your child then you don't bring your child around them. If you really want to keep the friendship you can try getting together with JUST her and leave the kids with their fathers or something.

Her being 'only' 25 is not a legitimate excuse for letting her son be violent with others. There IS no legitimate excuse for not stopping your child's violent behavior. If she were doing SOMETHING to try and stop him and teach him that it is wrong to hit... I'd be a little more lenient while he learns that it is unacceptable. If his parents aren't even willing to be parents though.... the only thing you can do is protect your own child.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms