My bf has a baby on the way with another girl and I don't like her..??

Miranda - posted on 04/16/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )




Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together forabout a year. We broke up once for like three weeks and we ended up getting back together. Well in that three week time he got this girl pregnant. Well she's like deeply in love with him and Inever liked her but my bf wanted me to try and get along with her so I did.I sat down and spoke with her explaining where I stand on this while situation and I let her know hey. Your his child's mother supposedly (she had sex at a party with some other guy so we don't really know if it's his or not) but you and I need to come to a understanding. And I explained everything to her. But in all honesty I never liked her from the beginning. And she is always messaging him saying stuff then she would tell him not to tell me or not to tell me that she wasn't there... I don't knw what to do.. I'm 18 and my bf is 20 and the baby momma is 18.. Idk how to handle this but I am defiantly not giving up my bf.. Can someone help me please.. I'm in serious need of it..


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Michelle - posted on 04/17/2016




I agree with the other ladies.
He doesn't know what he wants so I would be running for the hills. You are all so young and he has shown that he will sleep with anyone.
You and the other girl don't have to get along, that's up to your boyfriend and her to co parent (if it is his baby).
I think you need to have a serious look at your relationship with him and decide if you can ever trust him again. You don't have any children together and have only been together for a year. You have your whole life ahead of you to find the right person who treats you how you deserve to be treated.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2016




If you have no kids with this guy, I'd split and have yourself a lifetime of heartache. When you break up for "like three weeks" and manage to get another woman pregnant (and a woman who apparently attended a "sex party"? Are you really wanting to spend yourself with these people? Aren't you worth more?

Ev - posted on 04/16/2016




I have the same thoughts as the other two moms here. You need to start to pay attention to what needs to be in a relationship first and foremost. Relationships that are real and founded in a strong bond between you and your BF. Your relationship is rocky at best. Secondly, where do you think it comes from you to tell this girl what is going to be what? It is not your baby it is hers. Your BF and she will have to come up with a parenting plan, custody, visitation and child support where this child is concerned and it is none of your business. You are not even considered a step mom yet--have to be married first. Thirdly, you guys do not know yet the child is really his and until that DNA test is done you have to wait. DNA testing is not done until after the birth of the child. And lastly, take a long hard look at your relationship and think about where it will be in another year.

Dove - posted on 04/16/2016




If this is his child... you are stuck dealing w/ this woman for a minimum of 18 years. Do you really want all that stress and drama for a guy you've only been dating for a year when you've already broken up once AND he had sex w/ another woman while you had only been broken up for THREE measly little weeks?

My advice... run far away from this situation. You are only 18... you have your entire life ahead of you. Do you really want it completely tied to this other woman?

Jodi - posted on 04/16/2016




Oh boy. How did I know you were all so young.....seriously, you ALL need to grow up. And if he can't and she can't, you need to. There is a child coming into this world whether you like it or not. Your boyfriend MAY have to deal with this woman for the next 18 years, and you have no right to sabotage that. You also don't have the right to sit her down and tell her like it is. That's his job. It has nothing to do with you. If she still likes him, big deal. If you trust him, that shouldn't be an issue for you. If you don't trust him, then move on.

So, my advice:
1. Back off and don't be "explaining" things to this woman. Not your job.
2. Leave the communication with the baby's mother with your boyfriend.
3. Encourage your boyfriend to arrange a DNA test when the baby is born.
4. IF the DNA test is positive, encourage your boyfriend to file for custody and visitation orders. Also, it will be his responsibility to ensure there is child support paid.
5. You and your boyfriend need to sort your shit out. Sorry, if your relationship is on-again-off-again then you may need counselling, but your relationship is NOT sufficiently stable for you to have ANY say in this child's life.

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