My boyfriend is having a baby with another woman

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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we were on a break/ break up for 2 months but he recently told me he wants me and only loves me. But during our break up he started another relationship with an 18 year old. Both of us are 23. And he said he was pretty much using her but she messaged me on fb the next day after he told me about her and she told me me that maybe id not know about her and that they are gonna be a happy family living together. But for the last couple days he's been with me all day and ignoring her texts. But when he told me about the pregnancy it hurt so bad. and he wants to be in the childs life which i am not against but i am worried because this teenager is IN LOVE with him. yesterday she messaged him saying she was going to commit suicide. So I have no idea how to handle this. Do i let him be alone with this girl or do i meet her since I'm not going anywhere. And of course when the baby is born he's going to visit and not be able to take the baby which means she's going to be around. please people help me ?

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Jodi - posted on 10/09/2016

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I think you are totally missing the point. Your boyfriend is unreliable and your relationship is not stable. You now have a situation where he is raising a baby with another woman because he can't keep his dick in his pants. Do you think that is going to be easy? YOU don't get to dictate the terms of that relationship. Do you let him be alone with her? At the end of the day, that won't be your choice. It will be whatever is determined in the custody and visitation arrangements they end up with and you don't get any say in that.

Dove - posted on 10/09/2016

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If you do have kids w/ him you will have to co-parent, but he's not a man... so a relationship w/ him is just stupid.

Dove - posted on 10/09/2016

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Unless you have kids w/ this man I would get out of his life 100% immediately. Way too much drama and trouble.

Ev - posted on 10/09/2016

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Really, can you not see that, Jessica? If he can jump to another woman quickly after breaking off with you for a short while, who is to say he won't again!

Michelle - posted on 10/09/2016

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Using her for what? His sexual gratification? If so, then he should have used protection and not got her pregnant!
If he can't keep it in his pants for 2 months then you will continually have problems. You have a lot more problems than just this other woman wanting to be with him.

ETA: Of course he will tell you that he was using her, he wants you back. He will tell you anything he thinks you want to hear. You can't be with him 24/7 so you really don't know what he is saying to the other woman, he could be telling her that he will be there for her and the baby.

Jessica - posted on 10/09/2016

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Yeah but he said he was using her and that he didn't want anything other than to be in the kids life and I told him I want to meet her because it feels like a double life. He did get checked out too and he's clean

Michelle - posted on 10/09/2016

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I agree with the other ladies. For him to jump into bed with someone else when you were only split up for 2 months, I wouldn't take him back.
I would also get tested for STI's since he wasn't using protection.

Ev - posted on 10/09/2016

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I must agree with Jodi on that. If you two can be apart for a period of time and then he takes up with someone else that is a big red flag right there. If he can bounce from you to someone else what does that say about his stability in a relationship? This girl must be under some impression that he is able to be with her and he must have put some of that impression there too. Also you do not know what was going on between them while you were broke up with him. This also shows his maturity for being 23 years old. If he can go with another girl and not be barely done with a relationship with you and so forth, what does that offer you in the long run?

Jodi - posted on 10/09/2016

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You know what I'd do? I'd run. I'd run FAR away from this man. Sorry, if you are on a "break" for 2 months and he is instantly in a relationship with another person, then it doesn't sound like he REALLY cares about you THAT much. This is a mess. And he's a player.

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