My boyfriend left me because he doesnt like my son

Kar - posted on 07/22/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Yes.. and it is so painful.. i have given so much love only to find out he really cant take my son and understand. My son is in adolescent stage 12 yrs old and hes likely to be jelous, talk back bec he already know whats happening. My boyfriend tried getting close with him for a month..just for a month but gave up already ..my relationshp with him lasted1 yr n 3mos.. and the rest of the yr was fighting over him getting irritated with my son and i hated the way he reacts to my son always mad at him though i know my son is hard headed at times..

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Lori - posted on 07/22/2014

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probably best you found this out now and let him go. any man who doesn't understand that you are "package deal" isn't worth the time.

the right man will not only fall in love with you but he will also fall in love with your son.

I also would caution against introducing strange men to your child until you know things are serious.

another thing you need to consider is that your son is the alpha male. teenage sons (and even adult sons) are VERY protective of their moms. that could explain some behavior as well.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2014

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Kar, at any age, honesty is best. Age appropriate honesty, of course.

But, do heed him when he says he feels something's off about a certain person...Kids can be amazingly perceptive at times...

Start by asking what HE would like to see in a person who would like to be in a relationship with the two of you. Emphasize that it IS the two of you, at least until he's 18, and that it's important to you that you find a good fit, should the opportunity arise

Kar - posted on 07/22/2014

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Thank you all for your inspiring comments .. very enlighting. Sometimes i really get clueless on how to deal with such things with my son i mean how would i approach him..how would i make him understand that i would eventually need someone in my life. How is he gonna take it, his personal questions to me, his curiosities, the way he answers back , etc. Hard to deal esp for a young mom Like me, both parents are gone. Sometimes i'll just breakdown and cry, helpless .id definitely reflect on all of your messages.. thank you so much

LTM - posted on 07/22/2014

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Worked a treat with mine. Shawnn. :) They were delighted when I met and married my current husband. Couldn't have been more supportive. lol.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2014

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LOL at "If he doesn't want to have to come around every day to keep you company" remark...I've actually used that with my kids...

LTM - posted on 07/22/2014

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That's a shame Kar, but it sounds like it just wasn't working. You need a man who understands your son has an important role in your life. Don't worry, such men do exist. :) Might be time to point out a few things to your son so he has time to think about them before your next bf. Of course you want him to know that your mother-son relationship is more important than anything, and that you'll protect him and your relationship. But also point out to him that the time will come when he is grown and falls in love and moves out and lives his new independent life ... and if he doesn't want to have to come around every day to keep you company when you're old, he'd better help you find a nice man who is a keeper. :) Good luck.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2014

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Your son comes first. If boyfriend couldn't understand that it's good he's gone.

However, at 12, your son also needs to work on his interpersonal interactions as well. You cannot force people on him, but he needs to interact on a basic level, whether he likes it or not.

Don't dismiss his feelings towards your bf though, because kids are pretty savvy...They can tell when its not a good idea for a relationship to continue...mostly by the way they're treated by the other person.

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