SD - posted on 08/25/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )
My boyfriend has 2 children from his previous marriage, a daughter and a son- 6 and 10. We have been together for almost 3 years and the relationship has been wonderful. My relationship with his children has also been great. He and his ex share custody, although he takes care of them a majority of the time due to her work schedule. I feel fortunate that things have been pretty simple thus far... However, lately it seems like his daughter is very concerned with keeping her father and I separate during public outings. At first, I shrugged it off as she just wanted her dad's attention, which I understand. She is 10. I have been dealing with it, and now, it has become a serious frustration for me. We go to the movies and she wants me to sit at the end. We go to dinner and she starts demanding where everyone needs to sit- assigning my seat away from her dad. I try not to react to her, and gently say that it's no big deal where anyone sits. At first I thought it was because maybe she wanted to sit next to both of us, but it is mostly her wanting me to not sit next to him at all. He has spoken to her about it once before, and explained that we are adults and we want to sit next to each other. I hate to even think this, but it feels like she is competing with me. It hurts because I had a stepmom as well, and I know how the relationship can feel competitive. I don't want her to feel that way towards me. Luckily, he is going to talk to her to see where these actions stem from, but I'm still worried. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Suggestions?
Although I'm worried about it, I also realize that a 10 year old's actions are not completely rational and perhaps it is something that will stop on it's own?