My boyfriends 19 yr old son is breaking up our relationship apart! Please help!

Dani - posted on 07/06/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I know this site is for moms only but I'm sorry I didn't know where else to turn. I have been with my boyfriend for about two years now. In the beginning everything was great, the son was even very polite. About a year ago when we decided to move in together its when it all changed completely. Let me start by saying that I've come to realize that his son is an evil manipulative 19 yr old child that I'm sorry to say I just cant stand anymore. I'll give you an example... The second weekend I was here his son was at his moms ( my boyfriend and his wife got divorced about a year before I met him and the son takes turns living with both but sadly spends most of his time here with us) well since the son always sleeps in and my boyfriend and I are early birds we decided to go out for breakfast and go hit the thrift stores and yard sales ...at around noon the son calls all I could hear was yelling coming from the cell. It turns out hes furious as to why his father is out having fun without him. we were about an hour away from home and had to drive all the way back because the son was threatening to move out and acting like a crazy person f-ing everyone off. As soon as we get home the son has his car on the yard next to the front door packing up his stuff ( I soooo wish he would have left!) Both my boyfriend and him are yelling outside at this point I go back inside to deal with two barking dogs that know something bad is going on. When they finally came inside I heard his son say " This isn't her house! She isn't family! I'm your son!" He slammed his room door so hard and kicked it that it cracked. When my boyfriend went to try to calm him down he pushed my boyfriend against the wall by this point my heart started racing and I reached for the phone, I thought for sure he would hurt him. My boyfriend holds his wrists together and keeps yelling at him to calm down! Since his son is always on Skype with his girlfriend his son starts yelling at the laptop " Call the police my father is choking me!" My boyfriend would never lay a hand on him..which I'm sorry to say but maybe that exactly what this spoiled brat needed all along. After he yells this my boyfriends lets go of his wrists the son quickly looked over at me and started walking towards me my boyfriend ran over and got in front of me and in shock kept asking him "Why are you being this way?" After what seemed forever of him just standing there staring at us he storms out of the house. As soon as that door closed I bursted into tears. My parents would argue but I had never been exposed to an argument that intense or seen such an evil look on someone face..that scared me so much. It scared my boyfriend so much that for the next two weeks he booked a hotel for me to stay in while his son cooled off, we both didn't trust him.
Your probably wondering why I didn't leave right? Let me explain, for one I love my boyfriend very much and two his son is either on drugs or is simple the devil himself. A few days after this incident the son comes back home ( although everyone my boyfriend spoke to told him to change the door locks and kick him out of the house) the son acts like nothing happened and starts being nice and sucking up to the Dad. My boyfriend is the most gullable person you'll ever meet and is always thinking back to when his son was a little boy which is why his son gets away with everything and anything. The last thing he pulled off two weeks ago has got me furious and has been the latest argument between me and my boyfriend. His son works at a gas station and for the past few months he comes home with boxes of gum and candy ..treats..you name it. He always says its thing that are being thrown out and or things that are out of stock. Well last night my boyfriend decides to let me know that his son was feeling so sad lately because hes been so stressed with school and work ( the son hasn't finished school yet either ) he told my boyfriend that a few weeks ago the cops showed up at work and his manager pulled him over to tell him they had been watching him on tape and have caught him stealing the merchandise. Well this kid start crying saying that he was sorry but that his mother wouldn't feed him...the sometimes he goes days without eating and that he was just so hungry...in other words he really go out to convince these people that he has it very bad at home. Keep in mind that his Dad is VERY well off we have a walk in food closet and my boyfriend loves buying everything in bulk. We have two freezers of food in the garage and his mom is a nurse who just for alimony gets a little over $3000. This kids drives a 2009 car that his parents payed off in full. Just to give you an idea of how spoiled he is and how big of a lie this kid told this people. Well the cops felt so bad for this kid that they let him off and apologized...a few days later the cop showed up with $300 to give to him saying they had asked for donations and had come up with that so he could buy food. When my boyfriend finished telling me this I couldn't believe it. My boyfriend ended by saying...I thought that was nice of them...I said WHAT!! .. I said.....how could your son be so evil not only to lie but to take their money! There are people out there that are REALLY starving! People that could have used that ..instead your evil lying son makes up this lie so he wouldn't face what hes being doing wrong. I am so furious about this that I'm seriously considering just walking away from all of this.... is it normal for me to feel this way...I have no idea what to do but I don't want to the type of person that waits 5 to 10 years before I figure out that this relationship was a waste of time...please anybody..I could really use some advice... thank you..

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[momoftwo] - posted on 07/06/2014

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All I can say is he is 19 and should be living on his own but "mommy and daddy" spoiled him too much for too long and now theirs no correcting it. I can not see this ending well unless daddy kicks him out and gives him tough love. It's about time he grows up.

Ev - posted on 07/06/2014

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It would sound to me like a good idea to walk away. It sounds like the kid has his dad wrapped around his little finger and dad will do what the kid wants. AS for the police collecting money for this kid to have food, that was totally absurd. I think you are better off without this drama.

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