My brother has asked me questions that about his little boy who is 15 months and I am looking for others opinions to see if my thought process is on mark or how others see it. First he seems to be very clingy to my brother, he said that when he leaves he just gets very upset and doesnt want to stay with his wife but he is fine with her leaving. He said when she calls him he almost looks like he is going to cry and doesn't want to go to her. It is not always but a good 70 percent of the time and my brother doesn't know what to make of this behavior and wonders what is happening when he is not there? He also mentioned that he now has started slapping his mother or hitting her with a toy and sometimes after he does it he goes to hug her but alot of times he just slaps her and then she turns around and slaps him back saying he needs to learn not to do that and it hurts. My brother thinks its wrong for her to hit him back and they should handle it different but he is also concerned being he seems only to be slapping her.... I also remember a time when he was only 4 months when he went to his grandmas for 3 days and when they went to pick him up, my brother said he was sitting on the floor with his grandma and his wife came in the room and he looked at her like he was going to cry and then looked back at his grandma. My brother stated that all weekend he wouldn't even look at her, he would look away when she picked him up or said anything to him...I also found this not right, my kids always missed me. Any thoughts on all this...he seems worried about how she is treating their son when he is not around with his behavior. My sister in law does have depression/anxiety issues so I am wondering if she gets short with him and yells or hits him so he is hitting her...my brother is a very soft and nurturing person and plays with him and rough houses like dads do lol..just trying to sort out how to see it...

Karen - posted on 09/04/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My brother has asked me questions that about his little boy who is 15 months and I am looking for others opinions to see if my thought process is on mark or how others see it.



First he seems to be very clingy to my brother, he said that when he leaves he just gets very upset and doesnt want to stay with his wife but he is fine with her leaving. He said when she calls him he almost looks like he is going to cry and doesn't want to go to her. It is not always but a good 70 percent of the time and my brother doesn't know what to make of this behavior and wonders what is happening when he is not there?



He also mentioned that he now has started slapping his mother or hitting her with a toy and sometimes after he does it he goes to hug her but alot of times he just slaps her and then she turns around and slaps him back saying he needs to learn not to do that and it hurts. My brother thinks its wrong for her to hit him back and they should handle it different but he is also concerned being he seems only to be slapping her....



I also remember a time when he was only 4 months when he went to his grandmas for 3 days and when they went to pick him up, my brother said he was sitting on the floor with his grandma and his wife came in the room and he looked at her like he was going to cry and then looked back at his grandma. My brother stated that all weekend he wouldn't even look at her, he would look away when she picked him up or said anything to him...I also found this not right, my kids always missed me.

Any thoughts on all this...he seems worried about how she is treating their son when he is not around with his behavior. My sister in law does have depression/anxiety issues so I am wondering if she gets short with him and yells or hits him so he is hitting her...my brother is a very soft and nurturing person and plays with him and rough houses like dads do lol..just trying to sort out how to see it...

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Tina - posted on 09/04/2012

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It is possible she is short tempered with him maybe. It may also be that he's picking up on a lot of her anxiety. I know after having my son I had some issues. My son always new when I was feeling depressed and unhappy. Even now he's 2 and there have been days where I have been stressed and frustrated with things and my son picks up on it and is in a terrible mood. I don't even have to show it. Even if I keep it all to myself I can see his mood and behaviour is often a reflection of how I am feeling.



I'd suggest to your brother that maybe they have a talk about how they disipline their son so they're on the same page. I'd suggest if he's going to hit her etc Do what I do with my kids. My daughter likes to bite. She bit me one day so I put her on the floor and said naughty girl you don't bite mum.



Smacking under certain circumstances may be ok. Such as if a child is touching something dangerous such as a power point or something even if it has safety caps etc. But this reliable in this instance for the simple reason he thinks ok and it becomes a game. It's better to not retaliate in this circumstance.



It may not seem possible. to have time out at this age but you can. My son has a safety gate on his door. This is normally so he can play while I'm doing chores without worrying about him too much but it can also be used as a form of punishment. If he is being naughty and wont listen I place him in his room no toys or games or anything and walk away. He will cry and get upset for a while but give it 5 minutes or so until he calms down and has started behaving he is aloud out and is aloud to play and I repeat if he misbehaves again.



It could be a case of Dad isn't around as much since he has work etc so he is the favourtie. There was a stage my son would eat anything I gave him he would only eat food that his Dad would eat or give to him. He's becoming more clingy with me as he's getting older but still prefers food from his Dad.



Maybe it would be nice if someone offered her sister in law a helping hand too. Or offer to take the little boy out or baby sit for a couple of hours just so she can do something for herself. It may be what she's need. A little time away so she can do something for herself that might make her feel better.

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