My child cursed me and my Husband

Patricia - posted on 02/11/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Just because we've said no to her sleeping over a friend, she said she hated us and wanted us dead.
Me and my husband raise my 19 yo niece ever since she was 5, her parents are not responsible enough to take care of her.
I'm really really angry at her, we never say what we hear from our parents things like this is my house, you can leave thou I'm so mad at her that I wish she was gone to learn how really life is.what should I do ?

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Amy - posted on 02/11/2014

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First of all I would suggest calming down, I've had my very well behaved 8 year tell me that he's hated me because he didn't get his way at one point. They don't mean it, when you are calm I suggest sitting down with her and discussing why you said no and why you were so upset about what she said. I certainly wouldn't hold it over her head that you helped raise her you took that on, she didn't ask you to, kids don't always appreciate what we do for them in the moment but as they get older they realize the sacrafices we've made. Let it go.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/11/2014

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I'm with Jodi & Angela. Yes, the young lady needs to have respect for your home, and your rules, but at the age of 19, you need to realize that (unless she's got some debilitating mental condition that requires constant care and supervision) she's an adult. She is capable of making her own choices. And, she's capable of handling consequences.

Jodi - posted on 02/11/2014

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Maybe she feels that at 19, she is an adult and you shouldn't be controlling where she goes and with whom? Have you actually had a conversation together (not just you talking at her, but an actual adult conversation) about your expectations of her as an adult living in her home? You need to remember she is no long er a "child" (you referred to her as this in your OP), and respect that too. So while she needs to have respect for you, you need to stop treating her like a child. Personally, I don't understand why you would refuse a 19 year old staying with a friend.

Angela - posted on 02/11/2014

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If she's 19 I'm rather surprised you refused her!

But then again, at 19 to say you hate your parents and wish them dead isn't showing the maturity we would normally expect at this age.

Hope things calm down for you.

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