my child father

Sheila - posted on 09/18/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have a nine year old his father come once every three months and when he do come he only stays for 10 minutes but his other son he is there for have a birthday party for him but when my son birthday comes he doesn't call or come by I feel like he has his favorite child and my child isn't it should I let him keep doing what he doing or just tell him not to come by anymore

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Dove - posted on 09/19/2016

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Well... It's not MY choice. It's the law. If I did not allow my ex to see his children then he could take me back to court and potentially get full custody. Sure, given 'our' situation it might be possible to take it back to court, but I've been told in the past given our location that it wouldn't make a difference. Your son's father sees him every 3 months. While it's not a lot and it's not 'enough'... it's consistent enough that if you refuse him and he takes it to court... he could cause you a lot of legal trouble.

Ev - posted on 09/19/2016

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Really, Shelia, the others are right. You should have gotten the whole package done in court instead of just child support. If he is not paying the support then take it to Child Support Enforcement.

Michelle - posted on 09/19/2016

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That's why you should have visitation orders.
That way if he doesn't stick to what the court gives him, you go back to court and get them amended. YOU can't decide not to let the Father see child, only the courts can do that. If you tell the Father he can't see his child then, if he wants, he could take you to court for parental alienation. Then you would lose more time with your child.
Getting court orders is protecting your child!

Sheila - posted on 09/18/2016

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I respect people opinion it doesn't mean I have to agree with it I couldn't let my child go years without seeing his father and he just come back in like he been there all the time when he wasn't there when the child sick or be there when he need help with something I thank you for your post

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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*should I let him keep doing what he doing or just tell him not to come by anymore

Then don't ask if you aren't going to listen to advice from someone living the same thing...

Sheila - posted on 09/18/2016

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I think my child need someone stable in his life and not make it easy for a father to come in and out when it's convenient for him

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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I never said it was easy... I've been living it for 8.5 years except now my kids might see their father once every 1-2 years... A court order for child support is different than a court order for custody and visitation. It's not your job to MAKE him see his son... it's your job to help your child cope w/ the father that he has.

Sheila - posted on 09/18/2016

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We done been to court for child support that he doesn't pay and I tried everything to convince him to see his son but I have to deal with my child being upset I think how much can my child take when he might see him once every three months

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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There should be a court order for custody, visitation, and child support and then whether or not he takes his scheduled visitations is on him. You can't make him be an involved dad, but it isn't your right to keep him from having any relationship w/ his son at all either.

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