My child has turned evil! What am I doing wrong?

R - posted on 11/02/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

3

0

0

Basically, my child has been well behaved until August. We went on holiday and she has suddenly become the most repulsive, nasty and ignorant little cow. But I love her so much! Not sure if I'm just hormonal or not. (I have another on the way) My husband agrees that she has turned 'evil'. Are me and my husband doing something wrong? My other child is acting fine. Please help!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kimberlee - posted on 11/02/2012

80

0

4

Have you asked her what's on her mind? Have you asked her if they anything happened during your holiday that upset her ? Maybe talk to her calmly and alone (if you haven't and if you have do it again) when she doesn't something wrong correct her immediately and let her know what the consequence will be for doing it again. Try and think of some consequences that make sense. Make sure the consequences are carried out each and every time they are warranted. Try and involve her in positive activities baking , walking together , etc..

Ariana - posted on 11/02/2012

1,309

0

624

How old is she? Is she becoming a teenager? Is it due to school issues? There really needs to be more info before anyone can really know how to help.



What exactly is she doing that's 'evil'. You probably shouldn't refer to her as that btw... unless she's stabbing kittens or something ridiculous I'm sure she's not gone 'evil'.



Is she giving attitude? Stealing? Hitting people? Skipping school? What EXACTLY is she doing that's this bad. It's easier to help deal with specific behaviors.



What are you doing with her when she acts 'evil'. Can you find a plausible reason why she's had this change? I think more info is needed.

6 Comments

View replies by

Rachel - posted on 11/02/2012

216

0

80

I'm guessing maybe she's feeling anxious about another baby coming.

Sit and talk with her. Let her know she's going to be just as important to you as the new baby. Ask her if she can be your little helper when the baby gets here.

Involve her in the process as much as possible. Make it a positive experience for her.

Jodi - posted on 11/02/2012

3,533

36

3906

Hm, you are pregnant? How does she feel about that? And can I just suggest you stop referring to her as being evil, repulsive nasty ignorant little cow, and refer to her behaviour instead. All of the descriptions you have given have referred to *her* rather than her *behaviour*. I hope you are not saying things to her directed at *her* rather than discussing her *behaviour*. This would only make things worse.



So basically, instead of telling her she is repulsive and nasty, tell her that her behaviour is nasty.



Anyway.....I suspect she has an issue with you having another baby? Which doesn't make her behaviour ok, just gives you something to work with, and find out WHY she has a problem with the baby. Then you may be able to get to the bottom of it.

Ariana - posted on 11/02/2012

1,309

0

624

There could be any number of reasons why she's doing what she's doing but you need to start giving consequences NOW while she's still small enough to control.



If she is doing something she shouldn't, and ignores you when you tell her to stop, you need to give her a consequence to that action. That could be a time-out for 6 minutes, or send her to her room. It's harder when you're pregnant because you can't be expected to pick her up.



I would try to apply natural consequences as much as possible, so if she throws toys they get taken away from her (or she has to leave the room where toys are if they're her sisters or shared toys). Try to think of a consequence that relates to the behavior as much as possible.



If there is no natural consequence you can think of give her a time-out for 6 minutes. Bring her to a time-out spot every time if she decides to get back up, or have your husband do this until you've had the baby if it is to difficult for you to drag her. If she refuses to go, and you're to far along to pick her up, I would not allow her to do anything fun (watch tv, have a treat or play with toys etc.) until she willingly has a time-out. That means that even if you have to wait an hour before she comes to you to ask for something (Mom I want to watch tv/go to the park etc) you can say, sure of course, once you've had your time-out. No you can't play with those until you've gone and done your time-out from X when you refused to listen. That way she knows even if you physically can't drag her to a time-out she will not be allowed any privilages until she learns to listen to you.



I wouldn't get into things that have to do with siblings around the same age. Unless your daughter is saying really rude things (swearing at her) it takes two to get into these things. Tell your other daughter to tell her sister 'don't talk to me like that' and walk away. It will be a lesson to both of them. As much as we, as parents, like to take sides for all you know behind your back your other twin might be doing things to bug her sister so getting the other one in trouble for what you perceive as her being mean may just be her retaliating. Obviously if they are being physical or your other daughter is being sworn at or something there should be a consequence, but for sibling teasing I would tell your other daughter that, that's not very nice of her, and you should get away from your sister when she talks to you like that.



I also agree with Kimberlee that you should try to get her involved in some more positive activities. Maybe you could do something special with her for some bonding time? Or have a 'special time' 20 minutes a day where you do something with her, anything that she likes.



Try explaining her the rules and possibly make a list of 'house rules' that need to be followed. Be consistant in enforcing consequences and try to have them relate to the behavior as much as possible (like if you don't brush your teeth you don't eat sweets type thing).



If you do this already or start doing it and don't see any improvement within the next 2/3 weeks, not even a little bit, you either need to look to see if your consequences are appropriate and being used consistantly, or you might need to go to a family councellor and see what's going on. For all you know there may be something going on that you don't realize. Either way they can probably help you find ways to deal with this and find any underlying issues going on.



Good luck!

R - posted on 11/02/2012

3

0

0

Hi Ariana. Thanks for the reply. My daughter is 6. She constantly ignores everyone and carries on doing whatever bad thing she is doing. She even hit my stomach once! - I am pregnant. She constantly gets into trouble at school and uses nasty words. I am possibly just hormonal but my husband agrees something has changed with her. She also teases her twin sister, the worst thing she has done is kick our dog. It's driving us all mad.



I ask her to stop doing what she's doing but just carries on, if I get up she starts screaming at me and tries to hit me. The worst reaction was when she punched my stomach and said she doesn't want another sibling. I pushed her away and she tripped up. So of course I feel more guilty. I have no idea why she is acting like this. It's like something happened on holiday, I didn't notice anything, neither did my husband. All help's appreciated.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms