my child ignores no!

Toni - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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my son kai is 17months old and if u tell him no, its as though i dont exist an will carry on doing exactly the same thing, nothing seems to phase him, n doesnt get upset when i shout an tell him no. what shall i do???

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Wow....we went through that phase but a little earlier. Daughter just tuned us out because DH and I would use the NO word to much. So we started using other words like: "Do not Touch." "No, that is dangerous." ETC. We also did a small tap on the hand or the diaper to get her attention and get her to stop.

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Alisa - posted on 09/28/2012

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After reading all these experience i am getting to excited to get my baby soon its due after 2 months....

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2009

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Toni, here is a link for you so you can have a look at all the locks out there so if you can see if there is one suitable for your cabinet. At this young age, you are best to keep as much out of their reach/locked away as possible, so you are keeping the 'no' and discipline to a minimum, because otherwise, they do tend to tune out from it. You are right, they don't understand. He will eventually (you'll know when he does, LOL), but in the meantime, out of sight, out of mind :)



http://www.readysetsafe.com.au/shop/door...

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting toni:

well yer he did that with the oven when i was cooking, and yet he still goes to touch it :S
but its other things like our glass tv stand has the sky dvd n the wii in and he opens the glas cabinet and pulls it all out on the floor and no matter how many time hes told and pulled away and his hand smacked and made him jump so he cries HE DOESNT CARE!! and will do it again n again n again...
ive also tried selotapin the glass doors shut and the 2nd my backs turned he pulls the selotape off n is back in there

so any ideas on that??? x



Toni, there are chilproof locks available in child safety stores (or baby stores) to help childproof cabinets, etc.  I actually used the same one on my TV cabinets as I used on the fridge - my daughter was shocking at this.  It doesn't stop them forever (she can get around childproofing now, but she is 4), but it stops them while they are too young to understand.  Just keep in mind, it is interesting to him, so just childproof the cabinets, and then you won't have to worry about it.

Siobhan - posted on 10/20/2009

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He's a busy bee then! I know how frustrating it is but all I can say is he will get fed up of it! Ignoring Niamh worked as well, we found she done things like that for attention, she would pull out the sky card & take off running with it & throw it somewhere in the house, we got so fed up with this that we watched normal tv for a while which didn't include cartoons & she soon got fed up with that, next time the card stayed where it was supposed to be! Niamhs favorite thing to do lately is to open the tumble dryer in the middle of a cycle, its ages before I cop on & this takes the clothes ages to dry, i have tried telling her that her clothes are in it & if she opens it again they wont dry & so we cant go any where for a spin!
Try everything & anything & you will be surprised what will work!

Toni - posted on 10/20/2009

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well yer he did that with the oven when i was cooking, and yet he still goes to touch it :S

but its other things like our glass tv stand has the sky dvd n the wii in and he opens the glas cabinet and pulls it all out on the floor and no matter how many time hes told and pulled away and his hand smacked and made him jump so he cries HE DOESNT CARE!! and will do it again n again n again...

ive also tried selotapin the glass doors shut and the 2nd my backs turned he pulls the selotape off n is back in there



so any ideas on that??? x

Siobhan - posted on 10/20/2009

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Hi Toni,
Been there done all of the above, but nothing seemed to work. my daughter was determined to touch something hot, so (Still not sure if it was the right thing but it worked) one day i let her touch the hot radiator, didn't do it a second time! Anytime she went for it or my mother in laws stove all we had to say was, hot, burn ya and she would go the other way! hard lesson but she got it! I have put this into practice with other things too but with a different approach! hope this helps as i know that desperate feeling!!

Jessica - posted on 10/20/2009

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Tell him "that is not ok to play w/ ___ b/c it's not safe b/c ___" and then try giving him something that is ok to play with when you take him from whatever it is that he's not supposed to play with. Redirection can work really well. He might fuss for a little bit, but then he will be interested in the new thing you gave him. Another thing that I do is just use my body to block him from what he wants that he's not supposed to have. After doing that for a little bit he gets bored and moves on to something else.



I hope this helped. There's a Community called "Positive Discipline" it's a great place to post questions like this & get good answers, it also has some links for how to deal w/ tantrums, etc.



Good Luck!!

Toni - posted on 10/20/2009

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i havent tried that because i would worry that sittin him out the way somewhere he would cry histerically and wouldnt understand what the hell was going on.. its really difficult to know whats best.

Jodi - posted on 10/20/2009

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Toni, have you tried time out? Sometimes they are too young at this age, but you could try it. Also, whatever you are doing, you need to be 100% consistent :)

Toni - posted on 10/20/2009

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trust me ive tried all of them things, if he does something hes not meant i tell him no and move him away from the situation, but as if i never said anything will go over and do the exact thing i told him not to. even tapping his hand does not seem to phase him. it seems like a lost cause

Jodi - posted on 10/19/2009

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As Sharon said, you can't just say no and do nothing.



And saying it louder is like speaking to someone who doesn't speak English louder because you think they may understand if you say it louder. Flawed logic.



Kids aren't born understanding what 'no' means. You have to get his attention and teach him what it means. Get down to his level, make him look at you and tell him no before redirecting him. If you do it at eye level, he is more likely to listen. Eventually he will listen to you because he will know what you mean.

Sharon - posted on 10/19/2009

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You're kidding right?



Do you just say "no" and nothing else?



Not only do you have to say "no" and say it loudly and sternly but you have to redirect them. Redirect and constant redirection are the key. You can't sit back with your Starbucks and yell "NO!" and expect it to mean anything.



When "NO!" and redirection don't work then a small but firm tap on the hand may be in order to get him to pay attention and realise that keeping on with what he is doing will earn him a "NO!" and hand rap.

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