Kristan - posted on 11/13/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )
I have the most beautiful, smart, bright, awesome child in the world. She is 4 and she thinks I'm here to be her slave. She is an angel child for everyone but me. She and I spend 24 hours a day together. I do not work bc I have to take care of my gma with alzhiemers and I'm a single mom. I feel like I'm on the brink of insanity everyday of my life. It took her a year from birth to sleep through the night. Her schedule was 4 hours asleep and 2 hours awake....for an entire year. She walked early, she talked early. She did everything too fast, which most mothers should be proud of, and I am, but it's 4 years later and I still have not had a break. I'm a single mom and i still do not know if I'm ever going to catch up. I'm an awesome mother. I think I do too much
I run myself ragged. But idk any other way. It sounds bad, but I get to the point sometimes where I do not even want to be a mother. I can't take this anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm going crazy anymore. My child will not listen to me. She tells me no and does whatever she wants. I do not want to spank her. I do not want to hurt her. Any other child would live to have me as a mother. She is ungrateful. She won't get dressed. She won't let me brush her hair. She won't brush her teeth. She won't wear shoes. She hits me. Oh god and the svreaming. She never stops screaming at me. She wakes up screaming. She gets mad if I change the channel from cartoons. She gets mad if the volume isn't blasting. She gets pissed if there's not a girl song on the radio. It's non stop. She never stops. She is so smart. There is nothing wrong with her. She's just stubborn. I'm the only person she treats this way. That's what I do not understand. I am going crazy. No punishment works for ME. I need a break. I'm so close to running away from my child. I'm broke, I'm stressed, I spend every waking minute with her and I love her more than anything. I can't afford to put her in daycare, I can't afford a vacation. I count pennies for gas. I count pennies for happy meals. I need help. I need serious help and idk what to do or where to turn before I have a nervous breakdown. If anyone can please help me..please help me. My gma with alzhiemers needs me as much as my 4 year old and I never get a minute to myself. I go to foodbanks foe food and I beg for change for gas to get to doctors appointments. I'm oblivious to how in the world single mothers with no help actually make it in this world. I have no money to celebrate holidays and I have run out of sanity to survive. My daughter asks for milk, I get her milk. She asks me to cook, I cook. She wants to go to park, I take her to park. She wants to play barbies,I play barbies. She will not take no, give me a sec, for an answer. My grandmother needs me just as much. Idk if I can wake up many more days not knowing where I'm going to get the next dollar from. I pan handle when my daughter is asleep for cash to survive. If there is anyone that can help, please ....I ran across this site randomly and have never poured my feelings out this way. Anyone can contact me via firstname.lastname@example.org or 4340 bridle path Winston-Salem, nc 27103 or 3369262814.