My child loves school and the teachers punish her for me not just dropping her off and being active in her education

Latasha - posted on 03/05/2014 ( 41 moms have responded )

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This is the third school the are passing on these rumors I guess cause it is easy to believe that a single black mom would lie or raise bad kids. The teachers have been lying and accusing each time they lied and yet my child is treated like she was actually accused of something. These teachers develop these relationships and I believe they know one another is lying but they hope their profession makes them look honest or liking a few parents they can attack one family at a time. I need help I need two pages to explain detail but my child has come home in tears bleed on her period cause she could not use the bathroom and told oh I guess you want to call your mommy now ignored lied on etc. they always have a excuse or focus on something small to act like they solved the problem

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/10/2014

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Livia doesn't understand that those of us who ask "what's the OTHER side" work closely in a school setting, and understand how quickly and easily a situation can be blown out of hand by assumptions, without clarification.

And, I will add, the ONLY reason that I mentioned race is because it's mentioned by the OP in the FIRST SENTENCE of the post, indicting that it is the OP's belief that the treatment of her daughter (and subsequently herself) is racially based. In reality, problems of this nature (the kid having the EXACT same problems across multiple schools) indicate that there may be an underlying issue that the parent either is (a) not aware of, or (b) choosing to ignore/whitewash. Furthermore, I've found that option (a) generally does not happen, as the schools try to communicate problems, or concerns to parents in order to avoid confusion, or recriminations.

Latasha, all I asked was what the school's version of the story, and whether or not you'd investigated further, had appointments with her teachers, counselors, & administrators. That is NOT attacking, that is asking for clarification. If you feel that Livia is the support you are looking for, great. Apparently you've shared the 'whole' story with her, via PM, and perhaps you may feel that you've shared just as much information on this board, but you have not, which is why some of us have requested clarification.

Jodi - posted on 03/08/2014

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@ Livia, I am not asking for the school's perspective, I am asking for the REASONS these schools are giving for their "attacks" on Latasha's daughter. At some point, Latasha has spoken to the schools and they have given their perspective to her. She still has not answered what that is - she has ONLY told us what her daughter has said. It isn't as simple as what she is making it out to be. There is something she is not telling us. I think YOU need to stop attacking people on this forum. No-one here has attacked Latasha, just asked for more information.

Angela - posted on 03/08/2014

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Not sure exactly what this thread is all about. All I've picked up on:

* Latasha's child is having a hard time at school and it's not the first school where this has happened.
* Latasha doesn't believe the teachers & school staff are being honest with her
* Latasha believes the way she and her child are treated is something to do with their ethnicity and that she's a single mother
* Latasha doesn't have a lot of contact with the school and is getting most of her information direct from her daughter

I don't know what has happened. I don't know how old Latasha's daughter is. I'd like some explanation .....

Only thing I can say that might be helpful is that Latasha maybe SHOULD have some communication with the school.

Angela - posted on 03/12/2014

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I've given you a "funny" & "hugs" Dove!

Time to lock this thread, do you think ladies? Latasha hasn't got back to us with clear details and we're just talking in circles now.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/11/2014

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Oh, now Livia has made me her personal 'project'...LMAO...Not sure if I'm supposed to see the 'error' of my ways, or if I'm supposed to suddenly realize that I'm a bigoted racist, or what, but I'm about tired of people reporting me for personal attacks when they simply disagree with my posts...

And, Jodi, you know we ALL have a spectacular sense of humour! We have to, with the individuals we see/hear/speak with & handle on a daily basis!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

41 Comments

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Dove - posted on 03/11/2014

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Man... I have no doubt she marked mine as funny as I have an alert for it... but those things aren't showing up for me. I feel left out...

Jodi - posted on 03/11/2014

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And Livia did come back in recent hours.....just to let me know all my posts are funny. I'm pretty sure she also let Shawnn know how wonderful her sense of humour is too. Actually, it looks like several of us have a wonderful sense of humour!!!! If nothing else, she is certainly very original.....NOT!

Dove - posted on 03/11/2014

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Does anyone else get the feeling that Latasha and Livia are the same person... or is that just me?

I find it funny that someone w/ 69 posts is telling anyone how 'we' are supposed to respond and what this site is for.... This site is for giving the best help, support, and advice that we can. Some of us actually like to try and HELP situations... which means sometimes we want more information in order to do our jobs properly. Now... if the OP is not willing to GIVE more information... I agree w/ Livia that this post should be locked, but if no more information is going to be given... I do not agree w/ starting a new post.. unless it's going to be on a completely different topic.

And I hate how COM has the comment box only two lines long now... stupid.

Michelle - posted on 03/11/2014

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No one really knows Angela. We don't seen to be getting any straight answers from Latasha.

Angela - posted on 03/11/2014

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What was this discussion all about anyway? No-one ever enlightened the rest of us!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/10/2014

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Oh, good. Livia's 'DONE'. Since neither she, nor the OP seemed to understand what we were trying to say...I have to agree with Jodi

Livia - posted on 03/10/2014

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I said start a new discussion. lmao. Anyway We are not the judge and jury! We are here to listen and give the best advice we can give with what people have shared with us. THATS IT! Nothing more! This is not a court room. Nor do we need to give such precise advice unless asked. Sometimes all people want to hear is that it will be ok that they are doing a good job, that they gave it their all, that they were a good wife, sister, friend or mom. Some people in here are pathetic! They think they own, run or control every discussion and the entire site. I feel sorry for you and with that I am done at this with this topic!

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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Even if she closes this and opens a new one, we would still ask for more information. All we ask is for is an answer as to what the SCHOOL is saying the issues are. It's not that difficult.

The problem on this site is that people often ask for advice and only give half the story. It happens all the time. This is one of those times. You can't GIVE constructive and useful advice if you don't have the full story. If we knew the reasons given by the school, we might actually be able to help. Right now, any given advice is just like patting her on the back and telling her a kiss would make it all better.

Livia - posted on 03/10/2014

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Latasha, I would close this discussion and start a new one. This one is going NO WHERE! Its like being in high school, no even grade school. Cliques! I will talk to you later! :)

Dove - posted on 03/09/2014

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When only one person understands and supports what you are saying and everyone else is asking for details and clarification... A logically thinking person would offer more information and clarification. Not assume they are being attacked.

Angela - posted on 03/09/2014

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Latasha, all you have done on here is tell us that your daughter has been to 3 schools and that things aren't going well. You haven't even clearly said THAT - we've had to piece it together from your rantings.

So ..... Tell us! Tell us exactly how your daughter is being made to suffer. Tell us whatever it is that the schools are supposed to be telling one another when she moves from one school to the next!

Describe to us how these schools are being unsupportive of YOU, the parent who is backing up her daughter in her quest to learn and be educated.

We don't even know how old your child is!

I'm not judging you - I'm simply asking questions. No-one on here is judging you, we couldn't do that when we don't even know what this thread is supposed to be about.

Please tell us what happened in logical, explanatory order instead of a garbled account which has snatches of this, snatches of that and all mixed up. Because I'm lost here!

Michelle - posted on 03/08/2014

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I really don't believe that schools gossip about students the way you are saying.
It seems that you have some insecurities and are blaming others.
You haven't really explained anything other than the schools gossip about your daughter before she starts at a new one.
I don't understand how you have gone through 3 schools though. Usually is very bad behaviour that will cause a school to expel a child, if you are moving schools because of your own insecurities then maybe you need to look at counselling.

Jodi - posted on 03/08/2014

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Really? My post was funny? Because I was trying to get more information? Honestly, we might be able to give some advice if we had all the information, but we don't. You are right in that we don't understand. That's because we don't have all the information and your posts make no sense.

Latasha - posted on 03/08/2014

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once again the lack of understanding shows the lack of professionalisim in the field of help and assistance Dove. Be blessed anyway and look into what causes sarcasm when real issues exist that people attempt to hide attacking one family at a time, Thank you Livia I have done it all and called the news but I am fighting peoples right to cover each other up and be evil to others with out good reason instead of fairly teaching I guess I take my odds and handle things unprofessionally as well but I hate to do that and be seen as wrong when stopping the behavior and mindset is all I was trying to do because I know oncce I remove my child there will be another chosen and it is just not right. Also this site processes information slowly that makes it difficult to type everything and check for corrections this may just be my computer

Livia - posted on 03/08/2014

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When someone is trying to help someone (we are supposed to be helping Latasha) or giving her constructive advice. Not advice that in any way belittles her or her child or advice that would make her feel uncomfortable. I am not saying sugar coat everything but when you say something like a member did like this "Playing the race card doesn't help in any situation" If you watch the discussions closely its always the same 4 people who comment and their comments are generally not supportive and actually come off rather ignorant and mean.Sometimes they actually go as far as I agree with so and so or I have to back up so and so. Latasha if I were you I would go to the school board meetings and see if any other parents have any issues similar to yours and your daughters. Then I would contact the superintendent of schools. This could effect your daughter long term and that would be a travesty. I am here if you need to talk. Oh and there is no way for the people in the room to get the schools side of this story LOL because you came HERE for our support the school didn't! I didn't see anywhere in your post that you said the reason why your daughter was being mistreated was because she was black..You mentioned that she was black but you never mentioned that was the reason for what was going on.I understand why you told us about your house being so clean and how well behaved because when ppl are being attacked its only human nature to defend ourselves. Don't ever feel like you have to do that Latasha especially in a discussion forum when you don't even know who you are talking to. We all come here looking for a little bit of advice, support, to have a question answered NEVER to be belittled or to made we have to defend ourselves! I am sure your an awesome MOTHER!!!! :) Ignore the Negativity! Check your inbox I have to tell you a something that happened!

Jodi - posted on 03/08/2014

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Latasha, firstly, no-one in this thread has been racist towards you in ANY way whatsoever. We are asking what the SCHOOL'S side of the story is. They did not say, oh we don't like your kid because she is black. There is some sort of behaviour going on that has resulted in this, and you still have not explained what that is. So for all intents and purposes, we only have your daughter's side of the story, and your reasoning that it must be because she is black and because she has her period. That's the entire reason you have given us that you have to keep changing schools. I am not quite sure what the cleanliness of your house has to do with anything. Yes, you said there are rumours. What rumours? You have clarified nothing!

Dove - posted on 03/08/2014

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Actually Latasha... your op doesn't really clarify anything. It is nonsensical rambling... as are Livia's postings...

Latasha - posted on 03/08/2014

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each school I was on the PTC spoke with teachers donated money and time I never asked anyone to be my best friend because of it but why punish my child because I am doing the same or more than the parents who match them other kids parents in the ptc were treated like princesses and they were bad as heck

Latasha - posted on 03/08/2014

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I provided more than enough information above their are rumors passed along to these schools to try to make things hard for families that teachers have decided they feel better than in effort that the truth does not come out. There have been several attempts to put things on my childs record and each were bold faced lies. The sarcasm in this group is no better there are just some people so sad and full of hiding lies that they try to discredit individuals. Obviously these people need more help than they can offer. Basically people have streotypes and assumptions but none of these stopped me from getting honors and I will not allow it to stop my children if these people were not afraid then they would not need to lie and hope that because of the steroetypes other people will belive them. I never seen another womans home cleaner or children more well behaved and just because people have not had the pleasure of racist and assumptions attacking their character it does not mean it does not happen such as the responses to this group. We may be breaking assumptions in half and people hate it but the goal of this article is to find out what I could do to fight it obviously this is deeper than school it is a fight againt ignorant people trying to convince people they are more intelligent than the next and minorities should never question their actions and stupidity

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2014

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No-on beat up anyone (except you, Livia). We simply asked questions to clarify. Maybe you should try it. It's actually very helpful.

I'm a practical person. If I have questions about something, I ask them RATHER than forming judgement one way or the other.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/06/2014

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Wow, you sure seem to be upset about something, Livia, and I encourage you to investigate what it is that's upsetting you.

Why attack me? Because I stated that you may be going overboard in your 'defense' of the OP, who hasn't clarified her post, nor has she responded to requests for clarification...???

Or was it because I said that you'd posted something nonsensical? Sorry, honey, if that offended you, but I calls 'em as I sees 'em...and that post about people attacking the OP instead of showing RESPECT...had nothing to do with any response on this board.

If you don't like the facts that I've stated, I cannot help you. FACT: Playing the race card will not help the situation. A practical approach will. A practical approach is to NOT call the school administration screaming about inappropriate treatment of a black child/parent, but to contact the administration voicing a concern about something that your child told you.

And last, but not least, don't order me to do anything ("YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY NOW") It only pisses me off.

Cheers!

Livia - posted on 03/06/2014

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WOW! This is a discussion room. This is not a beat the person up room. You dont know this woman, nor do you know who her child is., It doesnt matter if shes black, white, green or red. It didn't bother me at all that she used the race card because the fact is that there are still MANY bigots and people who are ignorant. Maybe Latisha is working or taking care of business at her daughters school. Not everyone has the luxury of being on the net all the time. It figures that you Shawn would be posting something like that! HAVE A GOOD DAY NOW!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/06/2014

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Considering that Latisha has never bothered to come in and clarify anything...

Going by my initial read of the OP, I agree with Jodi. HAVE you contacted the school to find out what their side of the story is? Playing the race card doesn't help in any situation. If you've had your child in 3 different schools, and she's having the same problems consistently, then there is an underlying behaviour that is happening, consistently, in each school setting.

Latisha needs to investigate, rather than alleging, based on one child's views, that the child has been mistreated. Without a conversation with teachers, administrators, etc, no judgment can be made, and no action taken.

Livia, I've read every darn post on this thread, and NO WHERE was the OP attacked. I absolutely abhor people who call it an attack, rather than recognizing a request for further information, or realizing that NOT EVERYONE is going to be of the same opinion that you are. Its called a discussion. Other than bashing everyone else for 'attacking', and posting a nonsensical post about 'mutual respect', I've seen nothing constructive in your posts.

Livia - posted on 03/06/2014

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Its not the 3rd name change you have seen, I just entered my info yesterday, I was going to use my first name but then I decided to use my middle name is that ok with you Inspector Gadget. I am not here to be constructive or judgmental. I would never want to make someone feel like they are being attacked when they already feel that way. She will find out on her own when she meets with the school whats really going on. Thats if she even meets with the school as she stated shes not that involved with her daughters school activities. I would rather not make someone feel worse or judge them when half the time people are only venting on here. This is the 3rd post that I have seen from you that has been well lets just say it doesn't seem you are very compassionate. Anyway I am just going to leave this alone. I dont wish to get into this with you. I have more important things to deal with and maybe I am wrong. Have a great day and I am sorry if I misjudged you.

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2014

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And can I also add, Livia (or whatever you call yourself, because that's the third name change I've seen), I would hardly consider your response constructive.

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2014

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I'm agreeing with Jodi, we don't have the whole story so it's very hard to give advice.
No one has been disrespectful since we don't know everything but having had problems in 3 different schools is confusing and alarming, especially not knowing the other side.

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2014

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Nobody was disrespectful, I wasn't judging and my advice was perfectly constructive. I am just questioning that we don't have the full story. I am asking what the schools have said. The OP has ONLY given the daughter's perspective, not what the schools have told. As I said, three different schools, same problems, maybe there is actually an issue. The OP has not given enough information for anyone to actually give any real advice. Schools don't pass on rumours.

And yes, the situation with the bathroom is unacceptable if the daughter's story is correct. However, what if the daughter is asking to go to the toilet during class ALL the time just to get out of lessons? (It happens....a LOT). Think about the boy who cried wolf. That's why I am saying that there may be more to this. There has still been no response to what the SCHOOL said was the problem. Did you even actually talk to them?

Livia - posted on 03/06/2014

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RESPECT. We're all moms here, and we all know that while motherhood is incredibly rewarding, it's not easy. So we start from a place of respect—for each other, for our children, for the huge challenge of being a mom. We recognize that there's much to be gained from the EXCHANGE of reassurances and ideas with other moms, who understand like no one else. And we thrive when we have access to non-judgemental SUPPORT and try to PAY IT FORWARD by giving that support readily to others. Let's keep our community ENCOURAGING, CONSTRUCTIVE, and THOUGHTFUL!

Livia - posted on 03/06/2014

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Your welcome, I hope what I had to say helps. I believe that if you don't have anything nice to say or that if you cant be supportive that people should keep it too themselves. You know what I mean.? The situation with the bathroom is unacceptable!!

Jodi - posted on 03/05/2014

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Latasha, has it occurred to you that if there have been problems at 3 different schools, that your daughter "could" be the issue? That doesn't mean that you raised her bad, because after all, children make their own choices. But I am wondering what the OTHER sides are to this story. What is the school's complaint? What have they said when you have tried to discuss it with her teachers?

Latasha - posted on 03/05/2014

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Thank you sent the email I just need help I have done everything called the news the schools lie I emailed the government site and went to the top charter schools claim there is no lead and no one to answer to. The school staff take all this time to be mean to my child instead of teach

Livia - posted on 03/05/2014

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Hi, I dont completely understand what you are saying and what you need. What I do understand is that your daughter is being mistreated by this school and the 2 previous schools she has attended, that is NOT right. It doesnt matter if you cant or are not able to be 100% active in your daughters education as you stated your a single mom, I imagine that you work and this is why. It sounds as if shes a good student and shes being picked on unfairly by the teachers and this is unacceptable for ANY reason. What do you need to pages of? If I can help I will. You can email me ellen0115@aol.com I dont know if I am allowed to give my email address out on here because the last time I did I got a weird message but maybe it was a message for the site. I have to go and read the site rules. ANyway let me know what I can do.

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