My child's father's spouse spanked my child. Can I press charges?

Mommyy - posted on 12/22/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I do not consent her discipling my daughter physically, but her father disagrees, and will not respect my wishes. Is there anything I can do to stop her from hitting my child i.e pressing charges, etc? If I was to file some type of charges could her father interfere at all? Thanks in advance, North Carolina

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Ev - posted on 12/22/2013

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Ivory,

You need to set up custody, visitation, and child support right now. In the custody papers you can specify that no one but the father do the discipline of your child especially when it comes to spanking. You also need to sit down with him and come up with some system of rules and consequences that are the same in both homes as well that way no one is doing it his way or her way and the child is less confused. And anyone else he has coming into the child's life should be on that page too but he will have to be sure that person knows the drill. That would stop a lot of this.

Jodi - posted on 12/22/2013

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I would definitely recommend a custody agreement. Unfortunately, you can't control what happens on dad's watch, just as he can't control if you need a babysitter when your child is with you - he can't force you to be the one who is with her ALL the time and has to trust your judgement on this, as you have to trust his. However, clearly, he is okay with his girlfriend hitting his child, which I can totally understand is not okay with you. I think I would have flipped a lid if I'd ever found out my ex OR his girlfriend(s) had ever laid a hand on my son. However, I am not sure of the law where you are. Perhaps you could call the local police and ask them? They may be able to let you know.

For the long term, however, it is probably important for you to establish some custody and visitation orders or some sort of parenting agreement. An order like that is legally enforceable.

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Mommyy - posted on 12/24/2013

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He's very spiteful and will not respect or listen to my concerns or requests. I will most likely take it to court, thanks you Evelyn and Jody.

Mommyy - posted on 12/22/2013

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Thanks for your reply, Jodi, at the time I do not have a lawyer, I am not sure how to go about it. I just don't know if they will do anything because my childs dad is allowing this girl to physically discipline my child when he has her, but i don't consent it. We have no custody agreement but when she goes with him she is suppose to be under his care to begin with.

Jodi - posted on 12/22/2013

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Oh, wow. I guess it depends on the laws in your state, however, as she is NOT the parent, then I'd say you could definitely do something about it. Have you spoken to your lawyer? Maybe the way to go about it at this point is to discuss it with your lawyer and have a letter sent advising them that she has no right to physically discipline your child and that there will be charges if it continues.

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