M - posted on 06/18/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
It will be three years in August since I choose to leave my Childrens father. I have an older daughter who is now 10 from a previous relationship and two little girls who are my exs children 6-3. Last time my ex saw the children was August 2012. Since we have split up he has been in and out of rehab and spent 90 days in jail for a previous domestic violence charge he had been avoiding from an altercation with his previous ex girlfriend before me. I went to court and filed for full physical and legal custody since in August I got in an argument with his parents regarding them not allowing me their new address in which they had all moved to. I was then told by them he was drinking in front of the children but they didnt feel there was any issue since they were also present. The agreement was if he was drinking me children were not to be around him. I tried to allow the grandparents to still see the children but this was not working. Recently I heard he was finally working again and doing well. I made a huge mistake and reached out to him to let him know I would be ok with a supervised visit with him but he would need to let me know if he was interested.He contacted me back right away but the very next day he fell off the wagon. My middle child asks for him to this day and misses him dearly.She is very aware he suffers from a sickness and has expressed she doesnt like it when he changes(becomes drunk).She loves her father regardless and completely cherishes him on the other hand when he is sober and it breaks my heart to see him just forget about them most of the time. I know what I am doing in the right thing since they dont need to be exposed to him while he is drinking BUT i feel so guilty not allowing him to see his children. I know i need to be strong and let him come to the realization he needs to come to his children when he is ready. But I feel sometimes maybe he will be too afraid or ashamed to try and see them. Any advice out there would be much appreciated.