my daugher won't poop in the potty...anyone have suggestions?

Elizabeth - posted on 02/03/2011 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I have been potty training my 2 1/2 year old for a couple weeks now and she pees really well in the potty. She sometimes even tells me she has to go...but...the poop just isn't working. Every day is another poopy pair of pants, or couple pairs. She is really hard to catch when she may be wanting to poop. It just comes. Any advice, consolation, etc. anyone can give me? Help! II get soooo frustrated!!!

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Hey hun, I know it is hard as my son is at that stage now. Prestyn will tell me he needs to go but will get a nappy to put on and if i dont he will have an accident in his pants also. I am just being patient eith him and when myself or my partner go poop on potty we encourage prestyn to do the same whilst we are in there with him which has worked in the past. Also girls have been proven to take a little longer especially with the pooping so dont stress too much you are surely not alone, My neice was 5 before she pooped on the potty and before then had to put a nappy on and or hide to go. i hope all works out for you hun but dont stress too much it will happen when the time is right, please dont push her as i could cause insecurity or fear of the potty or even pooping in general. stay calm n be patient it will happen in time... if u need any more support feel free to contact me direct. all the best. xoxo

Pam - posted on 02/09/2011

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Funny story. I'm in the bathroom, door's locked so I have privacy. Toddler son knocks on door, "Mommy, are you in there?" Yes. "What are you doing?" I'm on the potty. "Are you pooping?" Sigh, Yes. "Good job Mommy!" He says brightly. I still laugh about it.

Jacque - posted on 02/09/2011

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My son will be 4 in a few weeks. For the most part he is pee pee trained but refuses to poop train. We have tried charts, bribes candy, toys, going special places. My parents have even offered a huge wooden play set. Still no poop in the potty. We saw our Dr. over Christmas about this and we were told that poop takes longer. Our Dr gives them until the age of 4 and then after that is more of a behavorial issue. He deifintely knows when he has to go. He has issues with constipation we give him Benefiber per our Dr. to help. It does work. Both my husband and I get frustrated with the situation but we know one day it will happen. They say girls are easier good luck

Jennifer - posted on 02/09/2011

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I'm potty training my fourth daughter and it's the same thing. It will happen eventually. Try giving a treat or reward whenever ANY poop gets in the potty. A favorite candy works well. My 2nd daughter liked gummy worms. She got one every time she pooped in the potty. When they were all gone we declared that she was now a big girl and that she was going to poop in the potty all the time. Until then, every time she poops in her pants take her to the potty and dump the poop in, reminding her that poopy undies are gross and that poop belongs in the potty. If you do catch her in the act, bring her to the potty FAST and let her finish there. Reward her so she gets the idea that poop IN the potty gets a reward. If you are out in public....well, I admit I just throw the undies away. Little kid undies are pretty cheap. If she is in a pullup....get rid of them. I had 2 kids that would NEVER go in the potty if they had a pullup on. I hope this helps. Remember that it is training. Reward the successes as much as possible. Good luck!

Tracy - posted on 02/09/2011

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A few friends did Naked Potty training which i found so foreign and honestly weird. Especially since my 1st potty trained sooo easily. Well my 2nd was the opposite. I had to catch her in the act when she had to poop and barely made it or she had an accident. Well one day she was naked, Just cuz i didnt get a chance to change her and she went on her own. I did that for 2 maybe 3 days. and no more poop accidents. My theory, be it right or wrong, maybe if theres NOTHING there to catch it they will go on the potty. and if they dont i was told to have them clean it themselves. They dont like that and learn really quick. I never had to go that route. Hope it helps! Good Luck!

Ei - posted on 02/09/2011

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Do you have other children? I've got two older ones and they helped with the potty training. my youngest was about 20mos when we started training her because she was taking her pullups off. Her older sister would take her to the toilet whenever she went to help her understand it better, she didnt like the potty seats. On top of that I would ask her if she had to pee or doo-doo every 10-20mins (it does get tiring) after asking her I'd check her. Before I knew it she's yelling for me because she'd be on the toilet sitting making pee or poop. After she was done I'd say you did it, she'd say Yeah i did it! Whenever we went to the store she'd get a prize, we did that for about 2mos. She was officially potty trained a month before her 2nd bday. I think I was getting on her nerves with the constant asking,lol. I wish you best of luck, hang in there... take care.

Siobhan - posted on 02/09/2011

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I made my daughter stay on the potty for a little while she went pee. After a little while Ikind of started to get about the times of the day she was going to go and wouldget her tosit on the potty even if she didn't think she had to go. If she went poop then I would give her a special treat like a little piece of candy or let her do something she really like(shopping for dinner).

Marla - posted on 02/09/2011

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We used the book, Once upon a Potty, and it was helpful. She finally got over the idea that poopy was a bad thing.

Faye - posted on 02/08/2011

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Both of my son's had a problem going on the potty seat to poop. A couple of things I did that worked for us. First we got the book everyone poops which really helped one of mine. We also used rewards, but little ones did not work for us. I needed to buy a bigger prize (both it was a train) that they really wanted and I showed it to them and told them that they would get it the first time they pooped on the potty seat and until then it would sleep in the closet. I did not put pressure, asked him to ask for a pull up to use if he refused to use the potty, but reminded him that the train was there. After about a week he did it and earned the train. I then needed to tell both of them that they could go to the store & pick out any train they wanted within a week or 2 week there were no more accidents. My boys are now 7 and 3 1/2 both have very different personalities & this worked for both, but they needed to overcome the fear that a lot of kids have of pooping on the potty seat & it took a big enough prize that they really really wanted to do it. To me it was worth spending $25. to not clean out poopy pants and was a nice way of celebrating their accomplishment (they were so proud telling everyone how they earned their toy.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/08/2011

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My sister had this trouble with her little girl. She didn't really seem to mind if she was messy; someone would eventually come and clean her!! So when she had an accident, my sis just started putting her in the bathtub, removed her pants & panties, and handed her a wipe, to do it herself. Eventually, she learned that going in the potty was a whole lot easier!!!

Every kid eventually gets potty trained. Just keep after it, and you'll get there!

Natalie - posted on 02/08/2011

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I had this same problem with my son 17 years ago. I found that holding him on the commode helped a great deal. We struggled for months with getting number 2 to work in the potty. But once on the commode, he was able adjust his little body to have his knees elevated making it easier for him to go. He is now experiencing the same issues with his son! I have suggested this many times and once the child gets used to being on "the big potty" everything comes out good!

Jessica - posted on 02/08/2011

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My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. We talked to the doctor and he said to put her baby potty somewhere that she feels comfortable, which in her case was the walk-in closet. He said that girls especially have this problem because if they were ever constipated then they are scared to go poopie and need to feel comfortable. After about a week of the potty in the closet, my daughter started going on the big potty and she was trained. I was amazed because we had been trying everything and she was peepee potty trained for a year prior already.

Michelle - posted on 02/08/2011

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My daughter was the same way. She learned to pee in the potty at 2 years old, but pooping was not anything that she wanted to do. I learned that it scares them when they think about something coming out of them. What I used was a chart. I would have her put a sticker on the chart every time she went to the potty. I would tell her if she pee a certain amount of time, she would get a prize and if she pooped we would take her some where special. It worked. She did well. She enjoyed trying to get stickers to get a prize or getting a special treat for when she pooped. Then eventually she didn't didn't need special treat for using the potty. I hope this helps.

Lana - posted on 02/08/2011

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when he doesn't have a poo at night he has been dry about half the time so he is doing well his 4 yo sister is also dry about half the time as well she has been toilet trained for about 2.5 years but was being lazy as she was in a nappy for bed stopped that and she is dry more often but when things stress her out due to change or other circumstances she wets the bed now

Sophie - posted on 02/07/2011

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great work Lana, your sons doing really well only having cpl of accidents a week. keep in mind that even once children are fully potty trained for poo/wee, it often takes them another 12mths to be able to be dry o/nite. My daughter was (fully) potty trained by 2.5yrs but it then took her 'til 3.5yrs to be dry and not need a nappy at night.

Lana - posted on 02/07/2011

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all these comments will hopefully help with my boy he is just over 2 wont use a potty has to use the toilet with a toilet seat most of the time he pees ok in the toilet now still get the accidents a couple a week now but poops just dont seem to happen when does it is usually overnight so a lot harder to catch but hopefully soon cos he wants to wear big boy pants to bed and not a nappy which is the incentive we are using for him

Sophie - posted on 02/07/2011

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i totally understand your frustration! My daughter t/trained quickly for wee at just over 2yrs old but it took 2-3 months for poo. we would just let her poo in her undies (you could tell when she was doing it cos she would hide) We would always ask her "Did you want to try and do it in the potty instead?" Obviously her answer was always no for a long time! We also used a reward/incentive. She chose a new baby doll from the shops which lived up on top of the fridge in its box- she was allowed to opne it once she did a poo in potty. This worked eventually but the doll stayed up on the fridge for a month or so! In the end her 1st poo was on an aeroplane on the way to a family holiday. they say this is quite common for kids to be more receptive to potty training in a different environment. Good luck.

Adina - posted on 02/07/2011

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You say you've only been actively potty training her for a couple weeks? It very well may be that she needs more time. Two weeks isn't long at all. It's awesome that she picked up peeing in the potty so quickly, but pooping usually takes longer. My only suggestion is to just be patient. She'll get it. :-)

Michelle - posted on 02/07/2011

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I had the same problem with my son. I would take the poop and put it in his potty after wards and tell him it this goes in the potty not your pants. Big boys go to the potty it took a couple of days but he started using the potty to poop in and now he is broke

Elizabeth - posted on 02/04/2011

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I love all these helpful comments from you ladies. Thanks! Yep, my second girl pooped just fine but was ALWAYS damp for at least a year! For her, the peeing part was so hard, not the pooping part! Kind of like what you mentioned Katherine! Grrrrrr, wish that each kid DID come with a manual. But....I guess I just need to keep all those grandma comments in my mind knowing it will eventually pass and that I really do want to enjoy every single moment of their (I have four girls) baby/childhood! I do have to grit my teeth when people throw out those supposedly comforting words "Don't worry, at least she will not go to college wetting her bed or peeing/pooping her pants" Yikes, I want her not going to preschool doing any of that! Help! Need patience!

Katherine - posted on 02/04/2011

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My daughter is 2 and won't go poop in the potty either. She pees just fine, but she won't poop. I just don't get it.
She hides to do it and thankfully I still have her in training pants.
My first would poop but not pee, go figure. It has to be some sort of weird issue they have with themselves at this age.....I know they say most kids this age think it's part of them and freak out. So it's a sensitive issue.

Nadia - posted on 02/04/2011

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I think the fear isa huge thing! I used to ask my daugter why she woldn't just go on the potty and she said she didn't want to or was afraid it might hurt... she used to get constipated quite a bit so i can totally understand it hurtng, plus the fact that she held it in for days on end.... also mabe they are embarrased about it. I just kept telling my girl that it's ok to poop, as long as you poop on the potty. Everybody poops. :)

Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2011

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My daughter did that for the longest time. She knew when she had to go, but was afraid to let it out. She would go to the potty and pee, but wouldn't sit long enough for the other to come. I took her to the store, and let her pick out a book. I told her it was her potty book, and she was only allowed to look at it when she was on the potty (it was one that had stickers with it too, so it really kept her occupied) The first time, she got really interested and started to poo before she even realized it. She was a little scared at first, but we made a huge deal out of it, and sang a good bye song, as she flushed it away (a little silly, I know, but it worked) It took a couple times for her to be really comfortable with it, but the book really helped, because it took her mind off of what she was doing..

Elizabeth - posted on 02/04/2011

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Thanks Nadia. I am totally open to prizes.I have been using a tiny candy whenever I ask her if she is "dry" and then when she peed and pooped. Now I don't really need to worry about the dry part, it is just the poopy part. I am trying to let her run around with no underware at home so she has to go somewhere to let it out, and then I reward her. But she HATES not having something on her bum. ANyway, still struggling through it....Thanks!

Nadia - posted on 02/03/2011

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I know excatly how you feel!!!! My daughter does/did the same thing. She's almost 5, has been pee-potty-trained since she was 3, but still poops in her panties. It's gotten a lot better, but she was going through 3 or 4 pairs a day! soooo maddening! Anyway, what we did was a bit of bribery/rewarding. I don't know if you're against that or not, but it worked for us. I went to the dollar stor, got a fancy basket and a whole bunch of age-appropriate "prizes" (stickers, rings, hairclips, yo-yo's, etc) and every time she went on the potty she got to pick a prize. but if she pooped her pants first, she didn't get anything. I would remind/encourage her that if she poops like a big girl she gets to pick a prize. And i was worried that she would always expect something, but a few times (once she was going potty regularly) she forgot to ask me for one, and i didn't mention it, and now she knows to poop on the potty and she doesn't get any prizes, just a "good job!!!" from me and my hubby. Other people have used candy instead of prizes, but i didn't want to give her any extra sugar lol! Anyway, i hope this helps you... potty training is the hardestand longest thing ever!!! Good luck :)

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