My daughter

[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )

I married a man who came with 2 children from 2 different mothers. I was 25 when we first got together and I told him that I wanted children upfront so there was no confusion. He told me that he would entertain the thought of one but that two would be unlikely. We did end up having two boys together which makes a total of 4 boys all together. When I was pregnant, I didn't want to know the sex of the children because I so desperately wanted a little girl. Her name was to be Ruby Shae. I made her real, we made her real but life had other plans for us. I love my sons dearly and wouldn't change them for the world but a part of me will never forgive my husband for not letting us try again. I know there are no guarantee's that you'll get what you want when trying naturally but I also know that there are clinics that can help couples who are looking to have their last baby and are looking for a particular sex. Do I think this is playing God, a little. Does it make me not want to do it, no.
Everyday I am tormented, I am overcome with sadness. I love my family, I am so grateful and fortunate for everything I have.
I just fear that I will never get over the loss of my little girl that never was.

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