my daughter acts better with dad than with me.

Danielle - posted on 05/13/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I found out that when my daughter goes with her dad on saturdays for a couple of hours to his mothers shes not has hard headed as she is when shes home with me. he said he dont have to fuss and stay on her like i have to and i was wondering why is that? am i doing something wrong? she my 1st and only child and i dont get that. he gets her once a week and he just started doing that. i have her every day since shes been born. my feelings are hurt.

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Jodi - posted on 05/13/2014

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She sounds like a perfectly normal 3 year old. This is not about you so much as about her. One thing I have read and discussed with my psychologist in the past is that a child will often act differently with one parent than the other. My son never misbehaved for his father and the reason was because he didn't feel SAFE misbehaving at his dad's house. Not that his dad hurt him or anything, I mean safe emotionally. My son felt safe and comfortable in my home and so felt that he could express his feelings freely (which is often misinterpreted as misbehaviour in a toddler). In his father's home, he was on his best behaviour but often not expressing how he felt .

So what I am saying is don't take this as a negative on yourself. It could be that your home is where she feels she can express herself without being judged, and where she feels emotionally safe to do so.

And just remember, he may also be lying through his teeth.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2014

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Ah...grandma's in the picture...

How much interaction does she have with grandma, and does grandma spoil the heck out of her? (Not meant in a bad way, btw...but I know grandparents...LOL)

Danielle - posted on 05/13/2014

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i try to be calm and patent with her and talk to her in a normal tone. when i keep having to tell her over and over to do something or not to do something that when my voice gets loud. ive started to ignore so stuff because i get headaches and im not trying to give myself a heart attack. i dont know what to expect from a 3 year old. she didnt act like this when we lived on our own i lost my job and had to move back to my moms she started acting different.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2014

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Sounds like he perhaps may be exhibiting more patience towards her, if she's listening to him. Plus, like I said, she only gets to see him for a very limited time, so of course she's going to behave differently than she does for you.

Have you tried constant, patient redirection? If she's still not listening, it indicates that you're giving in after a period of time, and she's figured that out.

Danielle - posted on 05/13/2014

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she is 3 and i dont expect much because of her age. i always have to make her sit down to eat everyday. i always have to tell her to stop running inside, she dont walk. i wonder do he just let her do what ever and dont make no big deal outta what she does like i do. she ignores what i tell her. she so dramatic when it comes to anything.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/13/2014

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She doesn't get to spend that much time with him, so it's worth it to her to behave whilst there.

Perhaps your expectations of her behaviour with you are a bit much? What is her age, and what are your expectations of her behaviour?

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