My daughter does not turn in work on time at school

Carolina - posted on 03/10/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter is so gifted always excelling kinder trough 7th grade, getting awards of excellence, advanced on state tests, etc. but has always been forgetful on turning on assignments on time. She is now in 9th grade where there is zero tolerance on late work and gets "0"s which is lowering her GPA. Im desperate! I don't know what to do, I have talked to her, I have tried to help her organizing her agenda, I have gave her consequences ( no cell phone, no special treats or going shopping, etc) she says she does not mean to get zeros...but after emailing her teachers they said she seems distracted. Any advice? I would appreciate it! Thanks!

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Jodi - posted on 03/10/2016

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Does she have a diary she can use to keep track of assignments and homework? If she gets in the habit of using a diary each day, she can organise her time management a little better.

Sarah - posted on 03/10/2016

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If she has been performing as expected all along, has something happened to have her mind preoccupied. If she cannot tell you why she does this, then give her one chance to help her get organized. She should write each assignment down, you check it at night and she turns it in the next day. High school is to prep you for college, where no one checks to see if you go to class etc. So there is much less reminding and less room for error. Late work is not tolerated. If her grades are poor for late work perhaps your consequences need to be more severe, like no phone for the entire quarter. I bought a cheap pay as you go for this reason, if my kids lose their smartphone, but would need a phone to contact me for pick up or an emergency, they get the great glory of the old flip phone.

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Ev - posted on 03/13/2016

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I have to agree with Shawnn the most on this. If you have taken the phone away and she has a journal to write assignments down in and they are not working to encourage her to work more then she must face the consequences of her actions as she is more than old enough to do the work and get it turned in on time. Gifted, talented, academically smart, or otherwise great at learning does not make the grade here. It takes commitment to doing the work and focusing on it to get it done. You can not hold her hand or stand over her shoulder all the time to be sure she gets it done and as Shawnn pointed out you can not hand her work in for her. My niece was very highly intelligent and could catch on to lessons very easily. When it came to homework and classwork she failed. She would either not do the work, not hand it in or stuff it in her locker or under her bed at home to avoid doing it. She got into a program called Upward Bound that helps students from families with financial need to get what they need to get into college offering classes during the month one time on Saturday and in summer a 6 week program at the local university where they spent the week in dorms and took classes. They also had social interactions like dances and field trips. She did not do the work in those classes and this program also had access to her school grades during the year because her performance in both relied on her being able to continue in the programs. She used it for socialization totally not what it was intended for. She graduated barely from high school with a 2.0 and she also got kicked out of that program because of her lack of work and bad grades in school. The final result of this story: My niece is now a mommy of a 2 year old and lives with her boyfriend's family and for a while lived off the family but she works a few hours a week at a local pizza place in the town they live in. She has no ambition to be more than she can be.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/11/2016

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Let her flunk, let her have to work to catch up, and she'll start to be more responsible. You can't do this for her.

She doesn't want to be responsible, the consequences are failing grades, poor GPA, and no participation in school sponsored extra curriculars. If she doesn't want to do the work, she gets to suffer the consequences. Yes, this is harsh, but it's reality. You can't turn in her homework for her, and she needs to realize that her actions have consequences.

Carolina - posted on 03/11/2016

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Yes, she has it, but either forgets to write down notes and/or to look at her agenda, but I will try to check on her everyday and remind her. Thanks for the advice! :)

Carolina - posted on 03/11/2016

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Thank you very much for your advice! Yes, phone has been taken away, she calls from friend's phones if she needs to call. But I will make clear to her she won't get it back until she brings her grades back. Yes it is the late work and misunderstanding instructions what is lowering her grades. Thanks for the advice :)

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